Hair Band Friday - 1/17/25

1.  "Don't Cry" by Guns N' Roses

2.  "Chippin' Away" by Night Ranger

3.  "The Meaning of Love" by FireHouse

4.  "Fire in the Sky" by Ozzy Osbourne

5.  "Layin' Rubber" by Kix

6.  "Fighting Against the World" by Vandenberg

7.  "Don't Talk to Strangers" by Dio

8.  "When Your Walls Come Down" by KISS

9.  "No On Like You" (live) by Scorpions

10.  "Give Me All Your Love" by Whitesnake

Retro Video of the Week: "Hero" by David Crosby

It's been awhile.  And no, that doesn't mean a Staind song is going to be the Retro Video of the Week.  After all, it's outside the parameters of the "MTV Era" that I have wholly concocted.  Anyway, due to the holidays, travel, kids' activities, work, cult obligations, and the like, I haven't posted anything in nearly a month -- and for that, I sincerely apologize.  I've missed you, even if I don't know who you are.

It was slim pickins for albums or songs released this week during the MTV Era that had videos.  But I'll be damned if Tuesday didn't mark the 25th anniversary of Rolling Stone magazine disclosing that David Crosby was the biological father of Melissa Ethridge and her partner Julie Cypher.  So that gives us something to go on.

Seven years prior, back in 1993, Crosby put out his third solo studio album, Thousand Roads.  The lead single from the album was "Hero," co-written by Crosby and Phil Collins, the latter of whom provides backing vocals, drums, and keyboards on the track.  The song just missed the Top 40 on the Billboard Hot 100, peaking at #44, but it did top the Canadian Adult Contemporary chart and went to #4 on the regular Canadian pop chart.

I have no recollection of this song or the video, but the video is ridiculous.  It features Crosby -- who was 52 at the time, mind you -- in prison, presumably for some drug-related offense, but we don't know for sure.  He is visited by his baby momma and their son, who appears to be 7 or 8 and objectively has one of the worst haircuts of all-time.  It's bad enough that everyone makes fun of you because your dad's behind bars, but your mom gives you a haircut that appears to be some sort of combination of Damien from The Omen and Slade guitarist Dave Hill?  This kid was literally the only person on the face of the Earth in 1993 with that haircut.  But don't worry, the video ends with the kid walking alone in the middle of some train tracks, obliviously picking up rocks and throwing them at nothing in particular, fading to black before his miserable existence is brought to a merciful end by the unforgiving fury of a 55-car freight train.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: The Last Five Beers

Due to totally foreseen circumstances (social events, sloth, returning some videotapes, etc.), I got behind on my beer advent calendar and related postings, but fear not fair reader, I'm caught up now.  Here are the last five beers.

Beer #13 is one of my favorite winter beers:  St. Bernardus's Christmas Ale.  Belgians make fantastic beer.  St. Bernardus is a former Trappist brewery located in Watou, a small town in West Flanders on the French border.  I've enjoyed every one of their beers I've had, and their Christmas Ale is a top notch Belgian strong ale.

Name:  St. Bernardus Christmas Ale

Brewery:  Brouwerij St. Bernardus

Location:  Watou, Belgium

ABV:  9.8%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You're watching your fantasy football season come to a blinding end because the Bills defense can't keep Jamyr Gibbs out of the fucking endzone.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4.5

Beer #14 was one that I've had before in beer advent calendars:  War on Xmas If You Want It White Peanut Brittle Stout from Illuminated Brew Works.  It's a great white stout that very much tastes like peanut brittle, which combines two things I quite enjoy.

Name:  War on Xmas If You Want It White Peanut Brittle Stout

Brewery:  Illuminated Brew Works

Location:  Chicago, IL

ABV:  11.0%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You want to avoid sledding on a saucer sled primed with an untested nutrient varnish because of the metal plate in your head.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4.25

Beer #15 was from exurban brewery Obscurity, who puts out an Island of Misfit Beers series each year, based on the characters from the Rankin and Bass 1964 made-for-TV stop animation classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  This one was Hermey, based on the misfit elf/wannabe dentist, and it was a "cherry golden ale."

Name:  Hermey

Brewery:  Obscurity Brewing

Location:  Elburn, IL

ABV:  5.5%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You decide to torture yourself by watching a 2024 Chicago Bears football game.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

Beer #16 was another one that has appeared in beer advent calendars of yore:  Hoppy Grinchmas from Riverlands Brewing.  It lived up to its hoppy name, much to my chagrin.

Name:  Hoppy Grinchmas

Brewery:  Riverlands Brewing Company

Location:  St. Charles, IL

ABV:  6.5%

IBU:  70

Good for drinking if:  You ever thought to yourself "man, I wish I had a reddish ale that tasted like a Christmas tree."

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.25

Beer #17 was back to the good stuff.  Snowbathe is a more traditional winter ale from suburban Pollyanna Brewing.  Brewed with mulling spices, it has a nice winter ale bite to it (but not in a nasty, hoppy way).

Name:  Snowbathe

Brewery:  Pollyanna Brewing Company

Location:  Lemont, IL

ABV:  6.2%

IBU:  30

Good for drinking if:  You could use something with cloves in it to take the edge off after a long winter's working day.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

Hair Band Friday - 12/13/24

1.  "Hide Your Heart" by KISS

2.  "Same Ol' Situation" by Mötley Crüe

3.  "Living in Sin" by Bon Jovi

4.  "Back in Your Arms Again" by Femme Fatale

5.  "Bitch is Back" by L.A. Guns

6.  "The Torture Never Stops" by W.A.S.P.

7.  "Speed Demon" by Keel

8.  "Great Guns of Fire" by Black 'N Blue

9.  "When the Smoke is Going Down" by Scorpions

10.  "Tattooed Dancer" by Ozzy Osbourne

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Black Horizon Holiday Fist Fight

We're halfway through the beer advent calendar, and Beer #12 was from suburban brewery Black Horizon.  Holiday Fist Fight is a hazy IPA made with orange and cranberry.  The orange really comes through to offset the bitterness of the hops.  Not terrible, but still an IPA, so not my favorite.

Name:  Holiday Fist Fight

Brewery:  Black Horizon Brewing Company

Location:  Willowbrook, IL

ABV:  7%

IBU:  20

Good for drinking if:  You need to drink something bitter to match the not-so-great beginning of your fantasy football playoffs.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.5

Retro Video of the Week: "Step Into Christmas" by Elton John

Though Elton John's "Step Into Christmas" was released in 1973 and is, thus, technically outside the temporal parameters of what I would normally for Retro Video of the Week, we only have so many holiday-themed video options.  So deal with it.

"Step Into Christmas" might be my favorite Elton John song.  It's just a catchy, happy Christmas song.  The video features a very brief cameo from John's longtime songwriting partner Bernie Taupin, who is pretending to play the tubular bells in the bridge.  Also notable is that, right after the bridge, John holds up his Watford FC supporter card.  He had been a Watford fan since he was a kid.  Several years later, in 1976, John would purchase Watford and become its chairman, a position he held until 1987 and then again from 1997 to 2002 (he still owns a stake in the club).  During his first regime, the club went from the Fourth Division up to the First Division (then the equivalent of what is now the Premier League).  So that little tidbit is my gift to you this Wednesday.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Rhinegeist Dad

Beer #11 was from Cincinnati's Rhinegeist.  If you get the chance, they have a great brewery and beer hall to visit.  I had the pleasure of attending their first (I think) anniversary party years ago, and it was a '70s theme, complete with a roller rink in the beer hall.  Good times.  Anywho, they only started distributing to Illinois relatively recently.  Today's beer was their "hoppy holiday ale" called Dad.  Anything with the word "hoppy" in it is a red flag for me, but this is a red ale that's just a little hoppy, but not overpoweringly so.

Name:  Dad

Brewery:  Rhinegeist Brewery

Location:  Cincinnati, OH

ABV:  6%

IBU:  45

Good for drinking if:  You're wrapping presents because nobody else in your goddamn house seems to want to do it.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.75

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Misbeehavin' Meads Cider-Nalia

Beer #10 was another non-beer, and that's okay.  Pouring with a nice crimson hue, Cider-Nalia from Valpo's Misbeehavin' Meads is a tart (but not sour) cider with cranberry, blue agave syrup, and hibiscus.  It has almost a wine-y nose to it, but it's actually pretty sweet, with little effervescence.  And apparently the name is a play on Saturnalia, the ancient Roman holiday that was kind of a precursor to Christmas.

Name:  Cider-Nalia

Brewery:  Misbeehavin' Meads

Location:  Valparaiso, IN

ABV:  6%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need something sweet and tart to celebrate your 15th anniversary of becoming a parent.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.75

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: The Last Four Beers

As it happens every year, I generally fall behind on the beer posting over the weekend.  But fear not, dear reader!  I have been imbibing.  Here are the last four beers from the ol' beer advent calendar.

Beer #6 was no beer at all, but rather a seltzer or something along those lines.  Eagle Park Brewing in Wisconsin makes a nice little line of malt beverages under the Kooler moniker.  This one was A Very Kooler Christmas, and it featured cranberry, lemon, and lime.  It was quite refreshing, though as with all seltzers, it could have used a vodka floater.

Name:  A Very Kooler Christmas

Brewery:  Eagle Park Brewing Company

Location:  Muskego, WI

ABV:  5%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need a break from beer while you're watching the last episode of a great limited series about The Troubles.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

After a one-day non-beer break, it was back to the good stuff for lucky #7.  This one was from suburban brewers Elmhurst Brewing.  My brother lives not to far from them, so I have been to the brewery multiple times.  They do good stuff, and they have a great beer garden (and pretty good food too).  Red Nosed Reinbeer not only has a good holiday-themed punny name, but it was a nice, malty imperial red ale, with some holiday spice to boot.  And at 8.2% ABV, it packs a nice punch.

Name:  Red Nosed Reinbeer

Brewery:  Elmhurst Brewing Company

Location:  Elmhurst, IL

ABV:  8.2%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need to prime the pump before heading out to a party where you're going to drink lots of even heavier beers.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

Speaking of packing a punch, beer #8 did that and more.  Chicago's Off Color Brewing has a whole line of "Beer for" different occasions, like Beer for Tacos, Beer for Ball Games, Beer for Derbies, Beer for Burgers, and many others.  This one, especially for the holidays, is Beer for Dealing with Your Family, and it's a malt liquor with a hefty 12% ABV.  The booziness definitely hits you up front, but it's got plenty of sugary flavors, like plum and cherry to take the edge off.

Name:  Beer for Dealing with Your Family

Brewery:  Off Color Brewing

Location:  Chicago, IL

ABV:  12%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need a stiff drink masquerading as a beer.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

Beer #9 was the first truly hoppy beer of the beer advent calendar.  As you know, I am not a fan of IPAs or other hoppy beers.  This one was Park Laps, a hazy IPA courtesy of Coloradan brewers Outer Range.  It has a whole bunch of different hop varieties that I've heard of, but that mean nothing to me.

Name:  Park Laps

Brewery:  Outer Range Brewing Company

Location:  Frisco, CO

ABV:  7%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You like hazy IPAs.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.5

Hair Band Friday - 12/6/24

1.  "Hello America" by Def Leppard

2.  "Don't Lie to Me" by Dokken

3.  "Barrom Boogie" (live) by Y&T

4.  "Did It for the Money" by Tesla

5.  "Empire" by Queensrÿche

6.  "Rock and Roll Hell" by KISS

7.  "Cold Chills" by Kix

8.  "Tonight (We Need a Lover)" by Mötley Crüe

9.  "Statutory Date" by Twisted Sister

10.  "Happy Trails" by Van Halen