Rocktober Video #16: "Halloween" by Helloween

German power metal band Helloween had some minor hits in the '80s.  None is more appropriate today than "Halloween."  And with this, Rocktober comes to an end.  Stay tuned next month for Nomohovember, a daily tribute to history's most adorable murdered prostitutes, starting with Mary Jane Kelly.

"The Men Behind the Masks"

Okay, everyone just calm down.  I am going to post my Tuesday Top Ten on Thursday because it is dependent on Halloween costumes, and Halloween is Wednesday.  I'm sure you understand.  Until then, please enjoy this photographic article showing what people behind some of film's most famous masks look like. 

Rocktober Video #15: "Trick or Treat" by Fastway

Fastway was a metal supergroup of sorts, formed by former Motörhead guitarist "Fast Eddie" Clarke and UFO bassist Pete Way.  Given that the band name is a word combination, you know I have to like them.  They recruited former Humble Pie drummer Jerry Shirley as well, but one of my favorite bits of music trivia relates to their previously unknown singer, Dave King.  While King fronted Fastway and other metal bands (and quite adeptly at that) in the '80s and early '90s, he is better known as the founder and lead singer of Celtic punk band Flogging Molly.  Anywho, Fastway created the soundtrack to the 1986 heavy metal-tinged horror film, Trick or Treat, which featured cameos by Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne.  The soundtrack was more successful than the movie, and this is the title track.  The video features the slain metal singer from the movie, so that's not actually King on screen.

Rocktober Video #14: "All Nightmare Long" by Metallica

With 2008's Death Magnetic album, Metallica proved they are still the gods of thrash metal.  This is my favorite song off that album, and I didn't even realize there was a video for it until last week.  On a related note, MTV should start playing videos again.

Midwestern Eavesdropping

Dude at bar: "Where are you from?"
Other dude at bar: "Mundelein."
First dude: "Cool. I was engaged once."
--Chicago, Rocks, 1301 W. Schubert
Eavesdropper: Gregerson

Rocktober Video #13: "Dream Warriors" by Dokken

In the '80s, there was no horror movie villain feared more than Freddy Krueger. He could enter your dreams and kill you. Not cool.  The third Nightmare on Elm Street movie was subtitled Dream Warriors.  Dokken was asked to write a song for the movie, and they did.  It's called "Dream Warriors," and it's a staple on VH1 Classic's Metal Mania.  The video features Patricia Arquette, who starred in the movie, as well as Krueger.  Turns out, all you need to defeat Freddy Krueger is George Lynch busting through a wall and playing a wicked guitar solo.

Listen to Hair Band Friday - 10/26/12

Rocktober Video #12: "Gates of Babylon" by Rainbow

Before he replaced Ozzy as Black Sabbath's frontman, Ronnie James Dio was the lead singer of the underrated '70s hard rock/metal band Rainbow, which is credited (due in large part to Dio) with bringing mysticism and medieval-type imagery to metal.  "Gates of Babylon" is a hypnotic song about the some of the disadvantage of making a deal with the devil, as you may be able to tell from the chorus:  "Sleep with the devil / And then you must pay / Sleep with the devil / The devil will take you away."  The power of Dio's voice never ceases to impress me, especially given how small he was.  He kills it in this song.  The video itself is nothing to brag about, but it was also made in 1978, before MTV, so there weren't too many videos in general to brag about.

Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoosiers!

The understatement of the century would be to say that Indiana fans are excited about this coming college basketball season.  With the Hoosiers ranked #1 going into the season and all five starters from last year's Sweet 16 team coming back, there is plenty to be excited about, especially considering the state of the program after Kelvin Sampson's unceremonious exit.  (By the way, what Sampson did –- send too many text messages –- is no longer a violation of NCAA rules.  Thanks, NCAA.)  Tom Crean has rebuilt the program from scratch, inheriting only two returning walk-ons with a total of 11 minutes of playing time in his first season to bringing in top recruits year who actually go to class and stay for more than one year.  Here is the intro from Hoosier Hysteria this year.  It's a pretty awesome juxtaposition of this year's Hoosiers with past Hoosier glory.  Thanks to Holt for the link.  And thanks to RDC for this apt follow-up link.

Rocktober Video #11: "Bark at the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne

Let the week of Halloween begin!  For the rest of Rocktober, I will be posting videos of songs that both rock and have dark, evil, mysterious, or –- dare I say it -- ghastly subject matters, culminating with the pagan holiday of Samhain.  The first ghoulish video is Ozzy Osbourne's "Bark at the Moon," which features a badass riff and a Jekyll and Hyde theme.

Tuesday Top Ten: Stephen King Horror Movies

In this Halloween season, everyone except my wife likes to watch horror movies, which means I don't get to watch horror movies.  This is a damn shame, since I love horror movies.  As a kid, I read a lot of books by Stephen King, who has written something like 14,000 horror novels.  Hollywood began to glom onto King in the late '70s and, more prolifically, in the '80s, adapting many of his books, novellas, and short stories into feature films.  Some were bad, some were good, some are horror classics, and many started with "C."  Here are my top ten horror movies based on Stephen King's works.  I can't claim that I've seen every Stephen King horror film, so this list is comprised only of movies I've seen.  Also, this list is limited to horror movies based on Stephen King's works, rather than all movies, which is why films like Shawshank Redemption, Stand By Me, The Green Mile, and The Running Man aren't mentioned.  I put these in alphabetical order, but please understand that The Shining and Carrie are my two favorite, in that order.

1.  Carrie (1976)

I understand Carrie is being remade with the chick from Kick Ass playing the title role.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  The original version is just so damned creepy, and I can't imagine anyone other than the innocent Sissy Spacek paying Carrie or Piper Laurie playing her bat-shit-crazy mother, who tells Carrie, "They're all gonna laugh at you."  She was right.  And then Carrie locked everyone in the gym with her mind and killed them.  Moral of the story:  don't pour pig's blood on anyone with telekinetic powers.

2.  Children of the Corn (1984)

I haven't seen this in over 20 years, but I remember being pretty freaked out on one hand, and, other other hand, being pretty empowered by the thought that children can rise up against adults.

3.  Christine (1983)

You would think it would be nearly impossible for a car to get possessed, but if there was any model that could, it would be a Plymouth Fury.  This movie taught me that cars can be jerks and, worse yet, they can make their owners into jerks.  So, the only way to prevent that from happening is to have a bulldozer on hand at all times.

4.  Creepshow (1982)

Creepshow was an interesting horror movie because it featured five different short stories.  I haven't seen it in a long time, but I remember liking it.  How can you not like a movie with Ted Danson and Leslie Nielsen?

5.  Cujo (1983)

Here's the gist of Cujo:  a nice Saint Bernard is bitten by a bat and gets rabies.  It then kills a bunch of people and holds a woman and the kid who played Jonathan on Who's the Boss hostage in their Ford Pinto after the alternator conks out.  It's hot out, they can't roll the windows down, and they can't get out.  91 minutes later, the movie ends.

6.  Firestarter (1984)

This borders on the fringe of sci-fi and horror, but I'm including it because it's my list, and I have an anecdote about it.  Firestarter is just your classic tale of a young child who can start fires with her mind and the government agency that seeks to control her.  In 7th grade, I decided I didn't really need to read any books that were assigned in English class.  That laissez faire attitude carried over into books I chose to "read" for book reports.  Firestarter was one of those books, mainly because there was a film version.  During the book report, I kept referring to the main character (played fabulously by Drew Barrymore in the movie version) as a she.  Some dickhead in my class raised his hand and said, "I thought the main character in the book was a boy."  She wasn't, but I had no idea, since I hadn't even opened the book, so I made something up about Charlie being an androgynous name.  I started reading things after that.

7.  It (1990)

It was a two-part, made-for-TV movie featuring Tim Curry as the ravenous, child-killing clown, Pennywise.  The film centers on a group of kids who discover Pennywise and are then brought back together as adults when Pennywise returns.   I remember being terrified when I watched the first part, yet I for some reason tuned in for the second part anyway.  In addition to Curry (who was perfect as Pennywise), the movie featured John Ritter, Night Court's Harry Anderson, and Breaking Away's Dennis Christopher, as well as a young Seth Green and Jonathan Brandis as two of the young versions of the characters.

8.  Misery (1990)

Whenever Jester brings a sledgehammer into the bedroom, I still shudder a little, thanks to Misery.  This film featured Kathy Bates in her breakout role as Annie Wilkes, the superfan of author Paul Sheldon (James Caan), who gets into a bad accident in a blizzard and is rescued by Wilkes.  Hilarity ensues, as Wilkes holds Sheldon captive and breaks his ankles to prevent him from escaping.  I suppose it's better than the book (which I actually did read before seeing the movie), where she chops his feet off.

9.  Pet Sematary (1989)

I couldn't go near a cat or an Indian burial ground for weeks after seeing this.

10.  The Shining (1980)

This is still my favorite horror movie, despite our tumultuous beginnings.  In the summer of 1989, I was staying with my buddy Jeremy for a couple weeks while my parents were on vacation.  We liked to rent videos, and we forged a note that appeared to indifferent video store clerks to give us permission to rent R-rated movies.  We had always noticed the cover of The Shining in the video store and been intrigued, so we finally rented it. I made it about a third of the way through before I left the room, went upstairs and listened to my then-new Skid Row tape while playing Wizard and Warriors on Nintendo and trying not to think about those fucking twin girls. I have since managed to get all the way through the film on multiple occasions.  In my opinion, this is Jack Nicholson's greatest performance (not that he has any bad ones), and Danny Lloyd, who plays Danny in the film, is also really good, perhaps because he didn't know he was acting in a horror movie until several years later.

Rocktober Video #10: "Big City Nights" by The Scorpions

In honor of the moon moving into Scorpio, the most intuitive, passionate, mysterious, and sexually hungry of all the zodiac signs, it seemed a song by The Scorpions would be appropriate -– particularly a song celebrating the overindulgence and hedonism associated with life on the road.

Championships

Two-year-olds have interesting beliefs.  Whether it's trying to convince you that a female can be a merman, proclaiming a pigeon to be "cute," or refusing to recognize anything but crying as a viable means of conflict resolution, it's tough to get a solid grasp on how they inform themselves.  Yesterday, Daughter, in between unsolicited bouts of signing "A Whole New World," said something about "championships."  Contextually, nothing quite made sense, so my wife, who birthed Daughter and cares for her on a daily basis, asked Daughter, "What's a championship?"  Daughter answered, "It's a boat you would take on your champion trip.  A championship." 

Rocktober Video #9: "Keep On Swinging" by Rival Sons

Here is proof that some bands are still making rock and roll music.

PayPal is Trying to Limit Your Legal Rights

If any of you use PayPal, you probably got an email today with the subject "Notice of Policy Updates."  You may have deleted it without reading it, but it contains an important change in PayPal's policy that may affect and limit your legal rights.  Here is the email I got:

"PayPal recently posted a new Policy Update which includes changes to the PayPal User Agreement. The update to the User Agreement is effective November 1, 2012 and contains several changes, including changes that affect how claims you and PayPal have against each other are resolved. You will, with limited exception, be required to submit claims you have against PayPal to binding and final arbitration, unless you opt out of the Agreement to Arbitrate (Section 14.3) by December 1, 2012. Unless you opt out: (1) you will only be permitted to pursue claims against PayPal on an individual basis, not as a plaintiff or class member in any class or representative action or proceeding and (2) you will only be permitted to seek relief (including monetary, injunctive, and declaratory relief) on an individual basis. 

You can view this Policy Update by logging in to your PayPal account. To log in to your account, go to https://www.paypal.com and enter your member log in information. Once you are logged in, look at the Notifications section on the top right side of the page for the latest Policy Updates. We encourage you to review the Policy Update to familiarize yourself with all of the changes that have been made."

This is pretty significant, not only because it prevents you from filing a class action lawsuit, but also because it prevents you from being a member of a class in a class action. Chances are, if you have any sort of claim against PayPal in the future, it will not be large enough for it to make monetary sense for you to file a lawsuit (or for an attorney to represent you), which is exactly why PayPal is making this change.  However, a class action allows you to aggregate your small claims with the claims of other similarly situation customers.

So, if you want to opt out of this new change (which also requires you to arbitrate any claims), here is the procedure from the PayPal website:

"You can choose to reject this Agreement to Arbitrate ("opt out") by mailing us a written opt-out notice ("Opt-Out Notice").  For new PayPal users, the Opt-Out Notice must be postmarked no later than 30 Days after the date you accept the User Agreement for the first time.  If you are already a current PayPal user and previously accepted the User Agreement prior to the introduction of this Agreement to Arbitrate, the Opt-Out Notice must be postmarked no later than December 1, 2012. You must mail the Opt-Out Notice to PayPal, Inc., Attn: Litigation Department, 2211 North First Street, San Jose, CA 95131. 
The Opt-Out Notice must state that you do not agree to this Agreement to Arbitrate and must include your name, address, phone number, and the email address(es) used to log in to the PayPal account(s) to which the opt-out applies. You must sign the Opt-Out Notice for it to be effective.

This procedure is the only way you can opt out of the Agreement to Arbitrate. If you opt out of the Agreement to Arbitrate, all other parts of the User Agreement, including all other provisions of Section 14 (Disputes with PayPal), will continue to apply.  Opting out of this Agreement to Arbitrate has no effect on any previous, other, or future arbitration agreements that you may have with us."

Rocktober Video #8: "Panama" by Van Halen

This is one of those songs that, when that opening riff starts, makes you want to bang your hand against the ceiling of your car.  It also makes you wish you had a car with T tops, or at least it makes me wish I did.  Be warned, Jester.

Listen to Hair Band Friday - 10/19/12

Rocktober Video #7: "Please Don't Touch" by Headgirl

You don't know Headgirl?  Well, fair reader, Headgirl was the 1980-81 collaboration of Motörhead and Girlschool.  Two great metal bands AND a word combination?  Yes please.  Together, they released one three-song EP, the St. Valentine's Day Massacre EP, which is nearly impossible to find, since I'm pretty sure it was only released on vinyl in 1981 and never again.  "Please Don't Touch" is a cover of a 1959 song by Johnny Kidd & The Pirates. You don't know Johnny Kidd & The Pirates?  Neither do I.  But I do enjoy Headgirl's version of this song.  Pay close attention to "Philthy Animal" Taylor during the video, dancing like only a man whose nickname is "Philthy Animal" can dance.  Interesting tidbit:  Lemmy will be one of my Halloween costumes this year.

Rocktober Video #6: "Balls to the Wall" by Accept

In honor of the video I just posted of a German man jumping into a frozen swimming pool with hilarious consequences, here is German metal band Accept's biggest hit.  If you're looking for a name for your next boy child, I suggest Udo.

German in Speedo Jumping Onto Frozen Pool

The title says it all.  Click here to watch and laugh.  Thanks to Tradd for the link and for pointing out that it is immeasurably better because everyone is speaking German.

Tuesday Top Ten: Most Death-Defying Stunts

I had planned out an elaborate Tuesday Top Ten, full of twists, turns, and even a little ribaldry, but then I came across this article that lists the top ten most death-defying stunts.  This is just too damn timely to pass up, in light of Felix Baumgartner's leap from 128,000 feet Saturday.  I watched it live, thinking the entire time that was the dumbest and most insane thing I've ever seen a human being do –- and I was in a fraternity, for Christ's sake.  All's well that ends well, though, since Baumgartner didn't plummet to his death, pass out, or explode with millions of people watching.  (Click here to see a recap of the jump and click here to watch the full jump.)  The list compiled in the article is a pretty good one, with a Wallenda, a couple Knievals, and a Houdini (the guy, not the sex move).  

Rocktober Video #5: "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden

Fantastic song with a great twin lead guitar riff and two blistering solos by Dave Murray and Adrian Smith.  It just makes you want to run.  Or fight in the Crimean War.  Either one.

More Evil: Bill Murray or Brad Wesley?

Road House is one of those movies that, whenever I come across it on TV, I have to watch it.  On more than one occasion, I have actually started watching it on TV and then realized I was wasting precious time, so I popped in the DVD instead.  The movie has everything:  an NYU-educated head bouncer with a lion's mane of hair and a heart of gold; a juke joint in the middle of Missouri that needs a badass bouncer to clean it up; Jeff Healey; a dastardly villain who owns the town; a character named Red played by a man named Red; a dastardly henchman who admittedly used to have sex with men like the NYU-educated bouncer while in prison; taxidermy; a boot knife; and, of course, Kelly Lynch getting nailed in a barn loft.

It's the last point that has apparently caught the fancy of Bill Murray and his brothers.  Kelly Lynch is married to Mitch Glazer, who co-wrote Scrooged, which, of course, starred Bill Murray.  Every time Road House comes on TV and gets to the scene where Dalton is slipping Lynch's character the old salami, one or more of the Murray brothers calls Glazer and tells him that Kelly is having sex with Patrick Swayze right now.  Bill has even called Glazer from Russia.  Think of how often Road House is on TV.  I wish I had a friend whose wife was banged on screen by a ghost in a movie that is on TV approximately twelve times a day, so that I could do the same thing.  I also wish I was Bill Murray.  Thanks to Josh and Dave for nearly simultaneously sending me the link (which includes an embedded video of the sex scene that prompts the Murrays to pick up the phone).

Rocktober Video #4: "Plowed" by Sponge

One of the most underrated '90s alternative rock/post-grunge bands was Detroit-based Sponge.  They put out a couple good albums in the mid '90s.  "Plowed," off of their 1994 debut album Rotting Piñata, was their signature song, or at least in my view, and it kicks ass, so listen to it when you're getting plowed (either biblically or alcoholically).  Interesting tidbit:  they opened for KISS at Tiger Stadium the first night of KISS's 1996 reunion tour with the original line-up.

Rocktober Video #3: "Gypsy Road" by Cinderella

I hate gypsies, yet I love this song.  Ponder that while you're making love to your wife this weekend.

Listen to Hair Band Friday - 10/12/12

Rocktober Video #2: "Fell In Love With a Girl" by The White Stripes

Great song that introduced most of the world to The White Stripes.  The video is stop-motion animation made with Legos, which must have taken an insanely long time to make, even if the song is less than two minutes long.

Rocktober Video #1: "I Love It Loud" by KISS

I am back from returning all of my videotapes, aside from Leonard Part 6.  As you may know, the past few Octobers, I have turned October into Rocktober here on GMYH, reviewing a rocking album every week day during October, combining the greatest month of the year with the greatest form of music ever.  This year, since I have already missed over a full week of October and I just don't have the time to do an album a day, I'm switching it up and will be featuring a different video each day.  (During October, the regular "Retro Video of the Week" will be suspended.)  There are no set genres I'm going to use, but the song must generally rock, whether it's metal, hard rock, classic rock, grunge, punk, garage rock, or any other genre that rocks.  Fridays will, of course, feature videos by hair bands because that's what Fridays are all about.  The week before Halloween will feature videos that have evil or dark themes.  Rest assured, everything video featured will, in fact, rock.  

The first video is KISS's "I Love It Loud."  Sit back, relax, and rock out.  For it is Rocktober!