Hair Band Friday - 12/13/24

1.  "Hide Your Heart" by KISS

2.  "Same Ol' Situation" by Mötley Crüe

3.  "Living in Sin" by Bon Jovi

4.  "Back in Your Arms Again" by Femme Fatale

5.  "Bitch is Back" by L.A. Guns

6.  "The Torture Never Stops" by W.A.S.P.

7.  "Speed Demon" by Keel

8.  "Great Guns of Fire" by Black 'N Blue

9.  "When the Smoke is Going Down" by Scorpions

10.  "Tattooed Dancer" by Ozzy Osbourne

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Black Horizon Holiday Fist Fight

We're halfway through the beer advent calendar, and Beer #12 was from suburban brewery Black Horizon.  Holiday Fist Fight is a hazy IPA made with orange and cranberry.  The orange really comes through to offset the bitterness of the hops.  Not terrible, but still an IPA, so not my favorite.

Name:  Holiday Fist Fight

Brewery:  Black Horizon Brewing Company

Location:  Willowbrook, IL

ABV:  7%

IBU:  20

Good for drinking if:  You need to drink something bitter to match the not-so-great beginning of your fantasy football playoffs.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.5

Retro Video of the Week: "Step Into Christmas" by Elton John

Though Elton John's "Step Into Christmas" was released in 1973 and is, thus, technically outside the temporal parameters of what I would normally for Retro Video of the Week, we only have so many holiday-themed video options.  So deal with it.

"Step Into Christmas" might be my favorite Elton John song.  It's just a catchy, happy Christmas song.  The video features a very brief cameo from John's longtime songwriting partner Bernie Taupin, who is pretending to play the tubular bells in the bridge.  Also notable is that, right after the bridge, John holds up his Watford FC supporter card.  He had been a Watford fan since he was a kid.  Several years later, in 1976, John would purchase Watford and become its chairman, a position he held until 1987 and then again from 1997 to 2002 (he still owns a stake in the club).  During his first regime, the club went from the Fourth Division up to the First Division (then the equivalent of what is now the Premier League).  So that little tidbit is my gift to you this Wednesday.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Rhinegeist Dad

Beer #11 was from Cincinnati's Rhinegeist.  If you get the chance, they have a great brewery and beer hall to visit.  I had the pleasure of attending their first (I think) anniversary party years ago, and it was a '70s theme, complete with a roller rink in the beer hall.  Good times.  Anywho, they only started distributing to Illinois relatively recently.  Today's beer was their "hoppy holiday ale" called Dad.  Anything with the word "hoppy" in it is a red flag for me, but this is a red ale that's just a little hoppy, but not overpoweringly so.

Name:  Dad

Brewery:  Rhinegeist Brewery

Location:  Cincinnati, OH

ABV:  6%

IBU:  45

Good for drinking if:  You're wrapping presents because nobody else in your goddamn house seems to want to do it.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.75

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Misbeehavin' Meads Cider-Nalia

Beer #10 was another non-beer, and that's okay.  Pouring with a nice crimson hue, Cider-Nalia from Valpo's Misbeehavin' Meads is a tart (but not sour) cider with cranberry, blue agave syrup, and hibiscus.  It has almost a wine-y nose to it, but it's actually pretty sweet, with little effervescence.  And apparently the name is a play on Saturnalia, the ancient Roman holiday that was kind of a precursor to Christmas.

Name:  Cider-Nalia

Brewery:  Misbeehavin' Meads

Location:  Valparaiso, IN

ABV:  6%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need something sweet and tart to celebrate your 15th anniversary of becoming a parent.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.75

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: The Last Four Beers

As it happens every year, I generally fall behind on the beer posting over the weekend.  But fear not, dear reader!  I have been imbibing.  Here are the last four beers from the ol' beer advent calendar.

Beer #6 was no beer at all, but rather a seltzer or something along those lines.  Eagle Park Brewing in Wisconsin makes a nice little line of malt beverages under the Kooler moniker.  This one was A Very Kooler Christmas, and it featured cranberry, lemon, and lime.  It was quite refreshing, though as with all seltzers, it could have used a vodka floater.

Name:  A Very Kooler Christmas

Brewery:  Eagle Park Brewing Company

Location:  Muskego, WI

ABV:  5%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need a break from beer while you're watching the last episode of a great limited series about The Troubles.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

After a one-day non-beer break, it was back to the good stuff for lucky #7.  This one was from suburban brewers Elmhurst Brewing.  My brother lives not to far from them, so I have been to the brewery multiple times.  They do good stuff, and they have a great beer garden (and pretty good food too).  Red Nosed Reinbeer not only has a good holiday-themed punny name, but it was a nice, malty imperial red ale, with some holiday spice to boot.  And at 8.2% ABV, it packs a nice punch.

Name:  Red Nosed Reinbeer

Brewery:  Elmhurst Brewing Company

Location:  Elmhurst, IL

ABV:  8.2%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need to prime the pump before heading out to a party where you're going to drink lots of even heavier beers.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

Speaking of packing a punch, beer #8 did that and more.  Chicago's Off Color Brewing has a whole line of "Beer for" different occasions, like Beer for Tacos, Beer for Ball Games, Beer for Derbies, Beer for Burgers, and many others.  This one, especially for the holidays, is Beer for Dealing with Your Family, and it's a malt liquor with a hefty 12% ABV.  The booziness definitely hits you up front, but it's got plenty of sugary flavors, like plum and cherry to take the edge off.

Name:  Beer for Dealing with Your Family

Brewery:  Off Color Brewing

Location:  Chicago, IL

ABV:  12%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You need a stiff drink masquerading as a beer.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

Beer #9 was the first truly hoppy beer of the beer advent calendar.  As you know, I am not a fan of IPAs or other hoppy beers.  This one was Park Laps, a hazy IPA courtesy of Coloradan brewers Outer Range.  It has a whole bunch of different hop varieties that I've heard of, but that mean nothing to me.

Name:  Park Laps

Brewery:  Outer Range Brewing Company

Location:  Frisco, CO

ABV:  7%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You like hazy IPAs.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.5

Hair Band Friday - 12/6/24

1.  "Hello America" by Def Leppard

2.  "Don't Lie to Me" by Dokken

3.  "Barrom Boogie" (live) by Y&T

4.  "Did It for the Money" by Tesla

5.  "Empire" by Queensrÿche

6.  "Rock and Roll Hell" by KISS

7.  "Cold Chills" by Kix

8.  "Tonight (We Need a Lover)" by Mötley Crüe

9.  "Statutory Date" by Twisted Sister

10.  "Happy Trails" by Van Halen

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Half Acre Far Star

Beer #5 came courtesy of local Chicago brewing stalwart Half Acre.  Deemed on the can as a "cold weather lager," Far Star is a crisp pale lager with a little bit of a hop bite at the end.  All in all, a decent lager that's definitely crushable.

Name:  Far Star

Brewery:  Half Acre Beer Company

Location:  Chicago, IL

ABV:  5.2%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You're blasting Christmas tunes while decorating your tree with your favorite Melmackian looking on.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.75

Retro Video of the Week: "Mary's Boy Child" by Boney M.

Now that we're into December, as usual, the Retro Videos of the Week will be holiday-themed.  I'll bend my rules on the "MTV era" that I usually try to abide by when picking Retro Videos of the Week, since the options aren't quite as bountiful for holiday videos as for your standard music videos.

Anywho, this week's selection comes from West German disco outfit Boney M., who put out a version of Harry Belafonte's "Mary's Boy Child" in 1978 and then did a remix in 1988.  Videos were made for both, but below is the video from 1988.  The original was a big hit, topping the pop charts in the UK, Germany, Sweden, and Switzerland, and reaching the Top 5 on the pop charts in five other countries.

The video is cheese mixed with Jesus, so Cheesus, I guess.  The group is dressed in white, while children reenact the nativity scene, with the frame ensconced in a fuzzy frame to give it a winter's dream-like quality.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: Jolly Pumpkin Noel

Beer #4 was from noted sour/dank beer experts Jolly Pumpkin, so I guess I should have known what to expect.  Noel is described on the can as a "wild dark strong holiday ale."  Strong it is, at 9%.  And it's definitely a wild ale, with that sour "wet sock" taste I've grown to know and hate in beer over the last decade, along with a dash of fruitcake.  If sours are your thing, then this beer may be for you.  It's just not for me, even if it is in a totally badass pint glass.

Name:  Noel

Brewery:  Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales

Location:  Dexter, MI

ABV:  9%

IBU:  22

Good for drinking if:  You like the taste of wet stockings.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.5

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer: The First Three Beers

It's that time of the year again -- when we can all enjoy dark and malty beers, though I enjoy them all year 'round.  Like last several years, I will once again be engaging in a 24-day weight-gaining enterprise I call It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Beer -- a daily look at a different beers throughout December.  I once again bought bought my beer advent calendar from local beer shop Beer on the Wall.  I'm a little concerned that I haven't seen the Costco German beer advent calendar, which I also usually buy just to have unique German beers throughout the year.  Hopefully it's back next year.  But here's a shot of my lovely calendar.  Disregard the shit all over my floor.

Thanks to other commitments, I haven't had a chance to post yet, but rest assured, I've been practicing my nightly ritual of putting an extra several hundred calories in my belly.

The advent calendar kicked off with a good one from suburban brewers Art History.  Like several other local breweries (Dovetail, Goldfinger, etc.), they specialize in European styles of beer, which is nice for those of us who hate IPAs. Wenceslas is a dark Bohemian style lager, which is essentially a Czech dark lager, but a little heavier on the ABV.  And the name pays homage to the only guy named Wenceslas I've ever heard of -- the namesake of the carol "Good King Wenceslas."  This one had a little hop bite to it, to offset the maltiness, and I used the commemorative Beer On the Wall glass that came with the calendar.

Name:  Wenceslas

Brewery:  Art History Brewing

Location:  Geneva, IL

ABV:  6.4%

IBU:  28

Good for drinking if:  You're watching two teams play football in the snow.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4

The next one was a fruited sour ale with cranberry, blackberry, and red raspberry from Brothership Brewing in suburban Mokena.  I'm not a huge fan of sours, but this one was pretty good.  I'd describe it as having a pie-forward nose, and it tasted like a tart.

Name:  Plasma Wave Holiday Bramble

Brewery:  Brothership Brewing

Location:  Mokena, IL

ABV:  6%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  Instead of having Thanksgiving dessert leftovers, you want to drink your dessert.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  3.75

And Beer #3 was another good one, though this one was not local.  Rather, it was from 903 Brewers in Sherman, Texas, which is about an hour north of Dallas, not too far from the Oklahoma border.  Despite its Texan roots -- or should I say brewts? -- 903's Polka King of the Midwest is an ale with plenty of cinnamon and spice, a worthy tribute to John Candy's character Gus Polinski in Home Alone.  While pleasantly spiced, it's not has heavy as some of your classic winter ales, which gives it a nice drinkability.

Name:  Polka King of the Midwest

Brewery:  903 Brewers

Location:  Sherman, TX

ABV:  5.8%

IBU:  N/A

Good for drinking if:  You're blogging while listening to the Kenosha Kickers instead of putting the lights on your Christmas tree.

Rating (out of five stars, by quarter star increments):  4