Best Band of Our Generation: Round 1 Update

We have our first upset!  24-seed Mötley Crüe slaughtered 9-seed Red Hot Chili Peppers, 80% to 20%.  Next up:  grunge sweethearts Nirvana vs. blues rockers The Black Crowes.

(For details and background about the Best Band of Our Generation countdown, click here.)

Here are the results so far.  Winners are in green.

1.  U2 (1980) (60%)

32.  The Pixies (1987)

16.  Foo Fighters (1995) (75%)

17.  The Cure (1980)

9.  Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)

24.  Mötley Crüe (1981) (80%)

8.  Nirvana (1989)

25.  The Black Crowes (1990)

5.  Def Leppard (1980)

29.  Poison (1986)

12.  Bon Jovi (1984)

21.  Depeche Mode (1981)

13.  Dave Matthews Band (1994)

20.  The White Stripes (1999)

4.  Metallica (1983)

29.  Soundgarden (1988)

3.  R.E.M. (1982)

30.  Stone Temple Pilots (1992)

14.  Huey Lewis & The News (1980)

19.  Duran Duran (1981)

11.  Weezer (1994)

22.  Rage Against the Machine (1992)

6.  Beastie Boys (1982)

27.  Nine Inch Nails (1989)

7.  Guns N' Roses (1987)

26.  Smashing Pumpkins (1991)

10.  Radiohead (1993)

23.  Iron Maiden (1980)

15.  Green Day (1990)

18.  The Pretenders (1980)

2.  Pearl Jam (1991)

31.  Oasis (1994)

Rocktober Album #3: American Bang – American Bang (2010)

Do you like beer-and-whiskey-soaked cock rock?  If so, American Bang is the band for you.  They're from Nashville, and they are one of the handful of newer bands who plays what I would consider neoclassic rock.  They do it very well.  It's kind of Kings of Leon meet Led Zeppelin and The Black Crowes, with some Tesla and GNR mixed in.  Lead singer Jaren Johnston has a nice Southern twang to complement his great rock voice.  The guitars are excellent, and the rhythm section provides a very solid backbone that keeps these guys rocking hard at all times.

This is one of those bands that sounds great on tape, but is jaw dropping live.  I saw these guys at Lollapalooza in 2010, and they blew just about every other act out of the water.  I saw them again a few months later at the House of Blues Back Porch stage, and they kicked the asses of the hundred or so people there.  They look like a rock and roll band and they sure as hell play rock and roll.  If you like great live shows, I beg you to check them out the next time they come to your city.  You won't be disappointed.  (Apparently, you will be.  I just went to the band's website, and the last update was in December 2010, so maybe they're no longer together, although the band's August 4 tweet suggests otherwise.  But then, three of the band members apparently formed another band called The Cadillac Black.  I don't know what to believe anymore.)

If you think I'm lying or overhyping these guys, legendary producer Bob Rock produced this album.  We're talking about the guy who produced Dr. Feelgood and the Black Album.  He doesn't just produce any up-and-coming hard rock band's debut album.

Only one song was on Playlist.com, so I am just including links to any song that might be on YouTube.

1. "Whiskey Walk"

The album starts off with a – wait for it – bang.  If you've ever been drunk on whiskey, they you know what the "whiskey walk" is.  It's usually accompanied by a hand on the face and asking yourself "Jesus Christ, why did I do this to myself again?"  And then comes the vomiting.  This song does not make me want to puke.  It does make me want to drink whiskey.

2.  "Wild and Young"

This is kind of their signature song.  It's a great hard rock song.

3. "Rewind"

A lot of you out there probably don't get the reference when the lead singer says "If I could just push rewind," but rest assured it's an apt analogy for wishing you could change something you screwed up.  This song also rocks.

4. "Angels"

I may classify this as a power ballad.  It starts off acoustic, and then eventually kicks into some electric goodness, with a Slash-like solo.

5.  "She Don't Cry No More"

This is a solid, straightforward rocker about self-redemption.  I like the line "Three drinks later, it ain't that complicated."  I've been there.

6.  "Hurts Like Hell"

This is my favorite song on the album.  It's another one of their signature songs, or so I think.  It is a snarling, teeth-kicking rawk song, with a driving beat, swirling guitars, hooks, and a sing-along chorus.  I love twin lead guitars, and this song has a bit of that, as well as a ball-busting solo.  Here is a link to their performance of this when I saw them last December at the House of Blues.

7.  "All We Know"

"All We Know" has a nice bass line that drives the song, and it's just another one of those great rock songs that I tend to enjoy.

8.  "Wouldn't Want to Be You"

This one is a little more bluesy than rest of the songs, and it has a Tom Petty quality to it.

9.  "A Man Can Change"

I guess this is their attempt at humor.  This one's a little slower, which is to say it's not really slow at all.  I'm happy I could provide you with absolutely nothing helpful with that last sentence.  Whatever, dude.  It's a good song.

10.  "Other Side of You"

Presumably a song about butt fucking, this is another non-slow slower song.  Look, I just don't want to talk about it.

11.  "Roll On"

This is a nice end to the album.  It's a fuzzy rocker with a chorus that's catchy as hell.  Hooks are always welcome, and this song has 'em.  It also has a positive message about taking it on the chin, rolling with the punches until the very end, and keeping on rolling on.  It also has a wicked guitar solo.

Best Band of Our Generation: Round 1 Update

The Foo Fighters dominated The Cure to move onto the second round.  Next up:  Red Hot Chili Peppers vs. Mötley Crüe (1981).

(For details and background about the Best Band of Our Generation countdown, click here.)

Here are the results so far.  Winners are in green.

1.  U2 (1980) (60%)

32.  The Pixies (1987)

16.  Foo Fighters (1995) (75%)

17.  The Cure (1980)

9.  Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)

24.  Mötley Crüe (1981)

8.  Nirvana (1989)

25.  The Black Crowes (1990)

5.  Def Leppard (1980)

29.  Poison (1986)

12.  Bon Jovi (1984)

21.  Depeche Mode (1981)

13.  Dave Matthews Band (1994)

20.  The White Stripes (1999)

4.  Metallica (1983)

29.  Soundgarden (1988)

3.  R.E.M. (1982)

30.  Stone Temple Pilots (1992)

14.  Huey Lewis & The News (1980)

19.  Duran Duran (1981)

11.  Weezer (1994)

22.  Rage Against the Machine (1992)

6.  Beastie Boys (1982)

27.  Nine Inch Nails (1989)

7.  Guns N' Roses (1987)

26.  Smashing Pumpkins (1991)

10.  Radiohead (1993)

23.  Iron Maiden (1980)

15.  Green Day (1990)

18.  The Pretenders (1980)

2.  Pearl Jam (1991)

31.  Oasis (1994)

New Book: Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs

Last week, I finished reading Snow Blind: A Brief Career in the Cocaine Trade by Robert Sabbag, and it was very good.  I expected it to be more of a straightforward historical account, but the narrative was almost Hunter S. Thompson-esque.  It detailed the life of Zachary Swan, a 40-something New Yorker in the late '60s and early '70s who became a big-time cocaine smuggler for a few years before getting arrested and then, more or less, beating the charges.  The parts that I liked best were his intricate and well-planned ways to get cocaine from Colombia to the U.S.  It was really amazing the level of detail and forethought that went into the plans.  Without revealing too much, I will just say that I will never look at a wooden rolling pin without assuming it is full of firmly packed cocaine.

 

I have moved on to Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs.  A couple years ago, I read his memoir Dry, which was an account of his alcoholism and rehab.  This book is a collection of autobiographical essays, and so far it's good and funny.

Books read in 2011:
Life by Keith Richards
Delta Blues: The Life and Times of the Mississippi Masters Who Revolutionized American Music by Ted Gioia
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
The Devil We Know: Dealing With the New Iranian Superpower by Robert Baer
Riders on the Storm: My Life with Jim Morrison and The Doors by John Densmore
The Butcher: Anatomy of a Mafia Psychopath by Philip Carlo
Runaway Dream: Born to Run and Bruce Springsteen's American Vision by Louis P. Masur
Clapton by Eric Clapton
Fargo Rock City by Chuck Klosterman

My Billion Year Contract: Memoir of a Former Scientologist by Nancy Many

Snow Blind: A Brief Career in the Cocaine Trade by Robert Sabbag

Tuesday Top Ten: Self-Titled Albums

Rock and roll bands like to talk about themselves, as they should.  After all, they play music for a living, which is more interesting and more awesome than anything the rest of us do with our pathetic, meaningless lives.  Many bands go so far as to title an album after their band name.  The ego!

Some bands eponymously name their debut album, perhaps to announce their arrival and say, "Hey music world, in case you didn't know the name of our band, we also named our album the same name, so as to avoid any possibility that you will confuse the band name with the album name."  Others use the self-titled album later in their careers, perhaps in an effort to reestablish themselves and their sound.  Some self-titled albums are so good that they have taken on the alternate title of the color of the album (i.e., the White Album, the Black Album, and the Blue Album).

This list contains what I consider to the ten best self-titled albums.  In making this list, I am including only true self-titled albums.  Thus, Led Zeppelin II, Toto IV, The Who Sell Out, Otis Blue, Dusty in Memphis, The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, Fresh Cream, and the like were not considered.  Limiting this list to ten was really tough, as was trying to put numbers 2-7 in order.  Rather than be redundant, I will just be listing the name of the band.  Or is it the name of the album?

Honorable mention (in no particular order): Elvis Presley (1956); Bad Company (1974); Rage Against the Machine (1992); The White Stripes (1999); Iron Maiden (1980); Skid Row (1989); Kiss (1974); Aerosmith (1973); Eric Clapton (1970); The Clash (1977); The Velvet Underground (1969); The Band (1969); Santana (1971); Fleetwood Mac (1975); The Stooges (1969); Run DMC (1984); The Cars (1978); The Pretenders (1980); Crosby, Stills & Nash (1969); The Eagles (1972)

10.  Foo Fighters (1995)

This may seem like an out-of-the-box choice, but it is one of the best hard rock albums of the last 20 years.  Of course, it was Dave Grohl's reintroduction to the world after Nirvana split up due to heroin and shotguns, showing that Kurt Cobain was not the only member of Nirvana with ridiculous talent.  This album rocks from the beginning track, "This is a Call," which is a great hard rock song.  Other hits included "I'll Stick Around" and "Big Me," which, as you may recall, had an awesome video parodying Mentos commercials. What makes this album even that much more impressive is that Grohl played all the instruments on all the tracks except for the guitar on one song.  Not too shabby.

Favorite song on the album:  "Good Grief"

9.  Santana (1969)

Santana actually had two self-titled albums:  this one (their debut) and their third album (which was released in 1971 and is also a very good album).  Their debut album, released the same month as their fantastic performance at Woodstock, is an energetic, mostly instrumental, Latin-infused rock and roll jam.  You can't listen to this album without tapping your feet or bobbing your head.

Favorite song on the album:  "Soul Sacrifice"

8.  Black Sabbath (1970)

World, I'd like you to meet heavy metal.  From its macabre subject matter to its creepy album cover, this album said goodbye to the '60s and hello to the future of hard rock music.  The title track is the perfect introduction to heavy metal.  It's about a dream about a figure in black at the end of your bed, it mentions Satan, it uses the devil's triad, and it has badass guitars, a driving bass line, thunderous drums, and eerie vocals.  The rest of the album follows suit.

Favorite song on the album:  "The Wizard"

7.  Van Halen (1978)

On the second track of the album, "Eruption," Eddie Van Halen established himself as the new guitar god.  With the rest of the album, the entire band established themselves as the new force to be reckoned with in rock and roll.  The guitar work is obviously phenomenal, but this album also introduced us to the screaming, tongue-in-cheek vocals of David Lee Roth, the wicked bass and harmonies of Michael Anthony, and the pounding drums of Alex Van Halen.  This album is frantic, catchy, and so fucking good.  "Runnin' With the Devil," "Jamie's Cryin'," "Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love," and their cover of the Kinks' "You Really Got Me" give the album its hits, songs like "I'm the One," "Atomic Punk," and "On Fire" add some gusto, and "Ice Cream Man" lets you know that these guys don't take themselves too seriously.

Favorite song on the album:  "I'm the One"

6.  Metallica (aka, the Black Album) (1991)

Before 1991, Metallica was well-known and highly regarded in metal circles, but relatively unknown in the mainstream.  Maybe you saw a couple guys with long hair at school wearing a Ride the Lightning shirt or, if they were outside of school, a Metal Up Your Ass shirt, but you probably hadn't heard a Metallica song.  That all changed with the Black Album, and that monster riff from "Enter Sandman."  Metallica earned its rightful place as one of the top bands in the world, bringing metal to the masses.  In addition to "Enter Sandman," the album had other Top 100 hits with "Nothing Else Matters," "Wherever I May Roam," "The Unforgiven," and "Sad But True."

Favorite song on the album:  "Through the Never"

5.  Weezer (aka, the Blue Album) (1994)

What can I say about the Blue Album?  It is one of my favorite albums, and probably the best power pop album ever made (apologies to Cheap Trick). The album just kicks ass.  It's catchy, fuzzy, sincere, and fun.  There is not a bad song on the album.  "Buddy Holly," "Say It Ain't So," and "Undone (The Sweater Song)" were radio hits, and "No One Else," "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here," "My Name Is Jonas," "Surf Wax America," and "Holiday" give the album its glorious backbone.  I can't say enough good things about this album.

Favorite song on the album:  "No One Else"

4.  Ramones (1976)

"Hey ho, let's go!" announced the Ramones, as they took the listener on a no-frills, mile-a-minute journey, revolutionizing music on the way.  Many people think of punk as this angry, unintelligible music, and that may be true for some bands, but definitely not for the Ramones.  Their whole point was to bring rock music back to its roots.  The songs are short, fast, and catchy, drawing influence from '50s and '60s pop and injecting '70s cynicism and realism (and, of course, male prostitution and glue sniffing).

Favorite song on the album:  "Judy Is a Punk"

3.  The Doors (1967)

The Doors brought darkness and mysteriousness to rock and roll with their masterful debut album.  "Break on Through" kicks off the album, and the Oedipal masterpiece "The End" ends it, appropriately.  In between is a journey into the blues, mescaline, German beer halls, lighting fires, and awesomeness.

Favorite song on the album:  "Soul Kitchen"

2.  Led Zeppelin (1969)

Led Zeppelin is so ubiquitous that it's hard to imagine a time when they weren't around, especially for someone like me, who was born nearly a decade after this album came out.  This album ushered in the era of hard rock with bombastic, blues-based thunder, influencing countless bands since then and changing the face of rock and roll in the process.

Favorite song on the album:  "Your Time Is Gonna Come"

1.  The Beatles (aka, the White Album) (1968)

This is my favorite Beatles album, and obviously one of the best albums of all-time.  The range of musical styles on this album is amazing.  It has my favorite Beatles song ("Happiness is a Warm Gun"), arguably George's best Beatles song ("While My Guitar Gently Weeps"), solid rockers ("Back in the USSR," "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey"), acoustic ballads ("I Will," "Blackbird," "Julia"), proto-metal ("Helter Skelter"), blues ("Yer Blues"), lullabies ("Good Night"), birthday songs ("Birthday"), schmaltzy old-time pop ("Honey Pie"), raunchy garage rock ("Why Don't We Do It In the Road?"), what could be confused for children's songs ("The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill," "Rocky Raccoon"), and super weird experimental nonsense ("Revolution 9"), not to mention three great John songs, "Revolution 1," "Sexy Sadie," and "I'm So Tired."

Favorite song on the album:  "Happiness is a Warm Gun"

Any albums I left off that you think should be on the list?

FYI, according to Rolling Stone's Greatest 500 albums of all-time from a couple years ago, the following are the top ten self-titled albums (with their overall rank):  (1) The Beatles (1968) (10); (2) Led Zeppelin (1969) (29); (3) Ramones (1976) (33); (4) The Doors (1967) (42); (5) The Band (1969) (45); (6) Elvis Presley (1956) (55); (7) The Clash (1977) (77); (8) Moby Grape (1967) (121); (9) Santana (1969) (150); (10) The B-52's (1979) (152)

I'd also like to do a list of top ten self-titled songs, although I'm not sure there are ten of them.  "Black Sabbath," "Iron Maiden," "Bad Company," and "Louis XIV" would definitely be on that list.

By the way, here is a playlist with my favorite songs from these albums, or at least the songs that were on Playlist.com:

Best Band of Our Generation: Round 1 Update

The first votes are in, and top seed U2 held off that feisty 32-seed The Pixies by a 60%-40% margin.  The next match-up is gonna be a tough one:  The Foo Fighters vs. The Cure. Now get out there and vote!


(For details and background about the Best Band of Our Generation countdown, click here.)

Here are the results so far.  Winners are in green.

1.  U2 (1980) (60%)

32.  The Pixies (1987)

16.  Foo Fighters (1995)

17.  The Cure (1980)

9.  Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)

24.  Mötley Crüe (1981)

8.  Nirvana (1989)

25.  The Black Crowes (1990)

5.  Def Leppard (1980)

29.  Poison (1986)

12.  Bon Jovi (1984)

21.  Depeche Mode (1981)

13.  Dave Matthews Band (1994)

20.  The White Stripes (1999)

4.  Metallica (1983)

29.  Soundgarden (1988)

3.  R.E.M. (1982)

30.  Stone Temple Pilots (1992)

14.  Huey Lewis & The News (1980)

19.  Duran Duran (1981)

11.  Weezer (1994)

22.  Rage Against the Machine (1992)

6.  Beastie Boys (1982)

27.  Nine Inch Nails (1989)

7.  Guns N' Roses (1987)

26.  Smashing Pumpkins (1991)

10.  Radiohead (1993)

23.  Iron Maiden (1980)

15.  Green Day (1990)

18.  The Pretenders (1980)

2.  Pearl Jam (1991)

31.  Oasis (1994)

George Harrison Documentary on HBO Tomorrow and Thursday

As you may or may not know, Martin Scorsese directed and co-produced a documentary about the "Quiet Beatle" called George Harrison: Living in the Material World.  It is airing in two parts on HBO tomorrow night and Thursday night at 9 Eastern/8 Central.  It has received pretty good reviews and looks pretty damn good from the clips I've seen.  I can't imagine it will disappoint.

Rocktober Album #2: Bad Company – Bad Company (1974)

Even though it didn't make my forthcoming list of top ten self-titled albums, Bad Company's eponymous debut is a great album. Bad Company was a supergroup, formed out of the ashes of Free, Mott the Hoople, and King Crimson. Lead singer Paul Rodgers has one of those classic rock and roll voices – gravely and smooth at the same time.


Bad Company is one of sneaky those good bands. They aren't one of the first bands you think of when you think of '70s rock, but they had four top ten albums and six Top 40 hits between 1974 and 1979, and probably about 10 songs that are regularly played on classic rock radio. Five of the eight songs on this album fall into that last category.


1. "Can't Get Enough"
The album starts off strong with this classic rock radio staple. It's catchy, it rocks, it has everything a song should.


2. "Rock Steady"
This one is another one of those that you hear and say, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that one" when you're inevitably having Bad Company-centered debate at work tomorrow. It's another sold, straightforward rock song with a catchy repeating riff.


3. "Ready for Love"
"Ready for Love" is kind of a brooding song, like the singer doesn't really want to be ready for love. The dark mood and minor key of the song don't match what seem to be relatively upbeat lyrics. It's like the opposite of a Smokey Robinson song.


4. "Don't Let Me Down"
This one is a soulful ballad, complete with female back-up singers and a sax solo. Thankfully, Paul Rodgers has the voice to pull it off. It could easily be a Joe Cocker song. Then again, pretty much all of Joe Cocker's songs were other people's songs, so this really could be a Joe Cocker song if he wanted it.


5. "Bad Company"
Ahh, the rarist of the rare: a self-titled song on a self-titled album. By about the second piano note, it's instantly recognizable. This song uses the crescendo nicely, building from a soft into, adding drums, then guitars, then bam, you're at the chorus and Rodgers is telling you he's bad company. He always seemed like a nice guy, so I don't quite buy it. That said, it's a great rock song.


6. "The Way I Choose"
This is another slow, soulful song that could very well belong on a Badfinger album rather than a Bad Company album. I guess you had to balance the rockers with the ballads if you didn't want all dong your audience.


7. "Movin' On"
This is probably the catchiest song on the album. The interplay between the guitars and cymbals in the intro seem to simulate a train, which makes sense since trains are fucking awesome.


8. "Seagull"
The seagull is often referred to as "the dumbest fucking thing in the sky." Thus, it's no surprise that Bad Company would want to end their first album with a song about one of them. "You fly through the sky / Never asking why / And you fly all Around / 'Til somebody shoots you down." I guess they shoot seagulls in England.

Best Band of Our Generation Field Set

Your comments are in and have been duly accounted for, and I've made my final decisions for the 32-band field from which we will choose the best band of our generation.  Thanks to those who commented.  (For details and background, click here.)

Here is how the voting will work. I will go down the following list, giving each match-up 24 hours during which you will vote for which band you think is the better band from our generation.  To vote, simply see the poll on the sidebar. Due to limitations in the space-time continuum, I will not be able to post a new poll every day, but rest assured, each poll will only be given 24 hours of voting time. With each new poll, I will post up-to-date results.

I have seeded the bands from 1-32 based on a combination of my perceptions as to how people might vote and my own likes and dislikes.  It was a difficult but cathartic process.  If you don't like how a band is seeded, then feel free to fume in private and vote accordingly. Presumably the best band will win out no matter who it's up against, and perhaps my seeding is way off.  Only you can decide.

So, without further ado, here are the matchups, with U2 vs. The Pixies in the first poll. There are some tough first-round matchups, and it looks like the second round and Sweet 16 could be even tougher.  Please remember that this is, without question, the single most important voting event of this Rocktober on this blog. I'm counting on you to be diligent and fair. Now get out there and rock the vote!

1.  U2 (1980)

32.  The Pixies (1987)

16.  Foo Fighters (1995)

17.  The Cure (1980)

9.  Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)

24.  Mötley Crüe (1981)

8.  Nirvana (1989)

25.  The Black Crowes (1990)

5.  Def Leppard (1980)

29.  Poison (1986)

12.  Bon Jovi (1984)

21.  Depeche Mode (1981)

13.  Dave Matthews Band (1994)

20.  The White Stripes (1999)

4.  Metallica (1983)

29.  Soundgarden (1988)

3.  R.E.M. (1982)

30.  Stone Temple Pilots (1992)

14.  Huey Lewis & The News (1980)

19.  Duran Duran (1981)

11.  Weezer (1994)

22.  Rage Against the Machine (1992)

6.  Beastie Boys (1982)

27.  Nine Inch Nails (1989)

7.  Guns N' Roses (1987)

26.  Smashing Pumpkins (1991)

10.  Radiohead (1993)

23.  Iron Maiden (1980)

15.  Green Day (1990)

18.  The Pretenders (1980)

2.  Pearl Jam (1991)

31.  Oasis (1994)

Rocktober Album #1: The White Stripes – Elephant (2003)

The White Stripes have never ceased to amaze and fascinate me. Their story is something only rock and roll could birth. A Detroit upholsterer gets married and takes his wife's last name. They form a band with only the two of them. They get divorced. They keep the band together. They tell everyone they're brother and sister so the media doesn't focus on the fact that they're a divorced couple. They become one of the best bands of the last 15 years.


In 2003, the White Stripes released Elephant, their fourth studio album, and the second that anyone had heard. They expanded from predominantly garage rock to an all-out rock and roll sonic assault.


This is one of my favorite albums of the last decade, and, depending on what day of the week it is, it is my favorite White Stripes album. I have fond memories of this album, not only because it's completely awesome, but also because I got it right before I went to London after graduating law school, so it reminds me of a time before by soul was crushed on a daily basis.


I am always amazed that all that sound comes from only two people, and even more amazed that Elephant was recorded in two weeks and recorded and produced without any computers. There are countless bands that spend years and tons of money on technology trying to make an album this good. But it only takes two to tango.


1."Seven Nation Army"
With one guitar line (and yes, that's a guitar, not a bass) and that driving bass drum thump, the White Stripes made an anthem that is now played at sporting events across the world. You can go anywhere and start chanting "ohh oh-oh-oh-oh ohh ohhh," and people will join in. In addition to achieving universal recognition, this song transformed Jack White into a guitar god. Those solos scream, "Take notice, world. There's a new sheriff in town."


2."Black Math"
This might be my favorite song on the album, but it also might not be. That's for me to take to the grave. It's a ball-busting, fast-paced rocker that falls somewhere between The Ramones and Led Zeppelin. Then again, that may sum up the White Stripes in general.


3."There's No Home for You Here"
Allegedly, this was written about Queen Elizabeth (the one who's still alive, not that trick Cate Blanchett portrayed). The lyrics are interesting, regardless of the possible subject matter. It comes across as an epic break-up song. "There's no home for you here / Girl, go away."


4."I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself"
What do you get when the White Stripes cover a Burt Bacharach-penned '60s pop hit for British chanteuse Dusty Springfield? A completely awesome song that draws you in with the verses and socks you in the face with the chorus. The White Stripes manage to make this song sound like a White Stripes song. It makes great use of the great musical tool of anticipation. By the time the chorus kicks in, you can barely take it. The song ends with an orgasmic explosion of guitars, crashing cymbals, and screaming that make you believe that Jack White really does not know what to do with himself.


5."In the Cold, Cold Night"
After "I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself," you need that post-coital breather before Round Two, which is what "In the Cold, Cold Night" and the next two songs do. This is just acoustic guitar and an organ. Most notably, it is the first song where Meg White sings lead vocals.


6."I Want to Be the Boy to Warm Your Mother's Heart"
During the first several White Stripes album, Jack White seemed to have a real concern about pleasing mothers. This is a heartfelt piano ballad with a sneaky drumbeat, and a nice little slide guitar solo. I think every guy can relate to this, unless your girlfriend/fiancé/wife's mom is easily impressed. "What kind of cartwheels do I have to pull / What kind of jokes should I lay on her now? / I'm inclined to go finish high school / Just to make her notice that I'm around." Good stuff.


7."You've Got Her in Your Pocket"
This is another slower song, presumably about a giant.


8."Ball and Biscuit"
This song is seven minutes of pure, unadulterated, raunchy, blues rock. Meg provides her perfect fuck thump for Jack's crunchy, fuzzy guitar licks. (Yes, I just described her drumbeat as a "fuck thump.") With the opening line -- "It's quite possible that I'm your third man, girl / But it's a fact that I'm the seventh son" -- Jack White also claims his crown as the next great bluesman. The guitar solos are phenomenal. If they aren't meant to simulate sex, I don't know what is. You may recognize this from a recent Captain Morgan commercial, wherein that ribald buccaneer encourages what appear to be Spanish nobility to break dinnerware to make a servant not feel so bad about dropping a glass. Classic Morgan.


9."The Hardest Button to Button"
Meg's drumbeat drives this song. It's another great rock song. The lyrics are interesting. There are toy ray guns, reverse voodoo dolls, and intransigent buttons.


10."Little Acorns"
In a twist, this song starts out with an excerpt from a human interest story from Detroit newscaster Mort Crim about a perseverant squirrel who inspired some idiot not to commit suicide. Then, there are some guitars, drums, and vocals that pay homage to squirrels who keep on keepin' on.


11."Hypnotize"
This is a short but sweet garage punk rocker, with more self-deprecating lyrics. "You're the kind of girl a guy like me could hypnotize." It's quite possible he's talking about that chick who watches squirrels.


12."The Air Near My Fingers"
This one is a great rock song with some sneaky hooks. I don't know why this wasn't released as a single or why it didn't get any airplay.


13."Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine"
Fucking Christian Scientists.


14."It's True That We Love One Another"
Just as they had done three years earlier with "Your Southern Can is Mine" on their second album, De Stijl, they chose to end Elephant with a tongue-in-cheek song. In addition to Jack and Meg, this song features British garage rocker Holly Golightly (of Thee Headcoatees). Jack isn't sure about starting a relationship with Holly. Holly asks Meg about Jack. Meg doesn't care. Jack indicates love bores him. Holly indicates she loves Jack like a little brother. Jack asks Holly for some English lovin'. Holly implies that she does not use birth control. In the end, they all love one another. Holly has some tea to celebrate.