Thursday: Turkey and Football

I ate turkey and watched football. What the hell did you expect?

After I was awoken by the sound of Harley and Mitzie rumbling, I trudged upstairs where my mother-in-law offered me up a Tom & Jerry, which is a pure Wisconsin drink comprised of brandy, dark rum, and hot water, with a whipped sugar type topping. No better way to start your day as far as I'm concerned. After a couple Tom & Jerrys, I went with Jessie, Ari, and Lizzie to try to find an open restaurant in Roanoke or Huntington to get some breakfast. We were about as successful at that as Dahmer was at not luring young gay Milwaukeeans into his apartment for sex and attempted zombification.

Later in the day, I was introduced to the newest family pets: two goats named Frederick and Bernard. As you might imagine, they are kept in a pen, since they will eat anything and have been known to play a wicked game of King of the Mountain on any car in sight. I was also informed that they like to perform various flying ninja kicks. Anyway, here's a picture of Jessie holding one of the goats in the midst of gale-force winds.

Jessie's stepdad Pat cooked one hell of a feast. In addition to the normal Thanksgiving fare, there was the added touch of deviled eggs, an idea so ingenious that it should be outlawed in southern states.

Every Thanksgiving I wear this totally sweet short-sleeve button-up shirt I got at Goodwill or Salvation Army for a fraction of its worth. It's covered with little brown turkeys. Nothing like your first Thanksgiving with the in-laws and looking like a complete jackass. Here is the first known picture of me, Jessie, and Harley all sitting still at the same time. As you can see, Harley's general disposition is that of disinterest and contempt.

After watching the day's football games, the evening was capped off by my usual domination of Trivial Pursuit, followed by my first victory ever at Yahtzee. Holla.