Midwestern Eavesdropping - 3/27/08

After a seven-week hiatus, I finally have enough submissions to fill a Midwestern Eavesdropping. Please enjoy. I beg of you.

Twentysomething female, longingly, after watching a segment on the evening news about an African-American toddler who is missing: "I wish I had a black kid."
--Chicago, Kenmore & Diversey
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething male at German restaurant: " I will never eat anything but sausage again."
--Chicago, Chicago Brauhaus, 4732 N. Lincoln
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Ten-year-old kid in Northwestern basketball parking lot after winning $1 bet with dad: "Or
you can just take me to Hooters."
--Evanston, IL, outside Welsh-Ryan Arena
Eavesdropper: Trashton

Twentysomething male bartender talking to other bartenders and a couple servers: "She broke up with ME for Jesus Christ."
--Duffy's, 420 1/2 W. Diversey
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething male walking down sidewalk: "There's no such thing as date rape gone wrong."
--Chicago, Southport and Addison
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "I am like the butt quarter champion."
--Chicago, Chicago Brauhaus, 4732 N. Lincoln
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething special ed teacher, discussing butt quarters: "The bar method has changed my ass."
--Chicago, Chicago Brauhaus, 4732 N. Lincoln
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething male and twentysomething female discuss Michigan's Upper Peninsula:
Male: "I'm from Escanaba." [a town of 13,000 people]
Female: "Where in Escanaba?"
Male: "Escanaba."
--Chicago, 845 W. Grace
Eavesdropper: GMYH

This isn't technically eavesdropping, but it's worthy of inclusion:

A white cargo van parked in a handicapped spot outside a doctor's office with the following words in large print on the side of the van:
"Single white female needs kidney
A+ call (number forgotten)."
Sitting in the front of the van was a large mustachioed, tattooed man smoking a cigarette and blasting death metal.
--Maywood, IL, Loyola University Hospital
Eavesdropper: RDC

Thanks to all who contributed. Please keep those ears open, and remember, you don't actually have to overhear it in the Midwest for it to be included in Midwestern Eavesdropping. Just email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, and it will be included in the next installment. Peace.