Midwestern Eavesdropping

Two five-year-old boys talking to each other:
Boy #1:  "Johnny, you're hysterical!"
Boy #2:  "Jimmy, you're a testicle!"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper:  RR

Drunk thirtysomething female to group of friends at Christmas party:  "If I seduce any of you, it's not intentional.  It's just the way my body works."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper:  GMYH

Twentysomething male to female at restaurant:  "My dad used to think I was autistic."
--Chicago, Twin Anchors, 1655 N. Sedgwick
Eavesdropper:  GMYH

As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.