1. "Out Ta Get Me" (live) by Guns N' Roses
2. "Take Your Whiskey Home" by Van Halen
3. "If My Mind Is Evil" by White Lion
4. "So Damn Pretty (Should Be Against the Law)" by Warrant
5. "Comin' Under Fire" by Def Leppard
6. "Invasion" by Vinnie Vincent Invasion
7. "Shelter Me" by Cinderella
8. "Bitch Is Back" by L.A. Guns
9. "Enslaved" by Mötley Crüe
10. "Give Me All Your Love" by Whitesnake
Friday, May 18, 2018
Thursday, May 17, 2018
New Book: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore
A little over a week ago, I finished reading But What If We're Wrong?: Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past by Chuck Klosterman. The book is based on the premise that we are mostly wrong about predicting the future, and we are usually wrong when we arrogantly think that what we know now is how it will always be. It also explored some more metaphysical ideas, like multiverses and the concept of time. I thought it was an interesting premise for a book because I have often thought about what movies, TV shows, actors/actresses, or music from the past 50 years will be remembered or celebrated in another few hundred years. More terrifying for me, is the question: will there always be rock and roll? I hope to be long dead before the answer is "no" -- or at least that I'm some sort of undead being that can carry on the gospel of the electric guitar to ensure the answer is never "no."
Speaking of gospels, I just started Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore, which came highly recommended from multiple people. It chronicles Heaven's intent to fill in the gaps in the four gospels by resurrecting Jesus's childhood friend Biff, who narrates his stories about growing up with Jesus to the angel Raziel. I enjoy a good satire, especially those that might be viewed as sacrilege by one or more religions. So far, it's living up to the hype.
Books Read in 2018:
-How Music Works by David Byrne
-But What If We're Wrong?: Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past by Chuck Klosterman
Books Read in 2018:
-How Music Works by David Byrne
-But What If We're Wrong?: Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past by Chuck Klosterman
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson
Apologies for not posting a Tuesday Top Ten. I was too busy because, you know, life. Am I right?
But to make up for it, boy do I have a treat for you. Thirty-five years ago today was the Motown 25 Special, a tribute concert special on NBC to celebrate Motown Records's 25th anniversary. The lineup was ridiculous: Stevie Wonder; Marvin Gaye; a battle of the bands between The Temptations and the Four Tops; reunions of The Supremes, The Miracles, and the Jackson 5; Mary Wells; Martha Reeves; Junior Walker; Lionel Richie; The Commodores; DeBarge.
But one man stood above the rest. As the Jackson 5 ended their set, their lead singer -- the diminutive 24-year-old Michael -- stayed out on stage for a solo performance that would cement his status as a pop icon. It's not that Michael Jackson wasn't already a star. Obviously, he was the lead singer of the Jackson 5, who had 19 Top 40 hits (including 10 Top 10s and four #1s) between 1969 and 1980. And he had his own string of Top 10 solo hits in the '70s and through 1980.
Of course, Thriller came out in 1982. Jackson's duet with Paul McCartney, "The Girl Is Mine" had hit #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1982. "Billie Jean" was released in January 1983 and had already spent 7 weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in March and April of that year, and "Beat It" was #1 on the charts at the time of the Motown 25 Special.
But Jackson's performance of "Billie Jean" during the Motown 25 Special is one of legend because he unveiled for the first time the moonwalk -- a dance move copied by what I estimate to be every single person who has ever seen it who has working legs. And with one backwards glide, he went from being Michael Jackson to being Michael Jackson. Suddenly, every kid in America wanted parachute pants, a studded red leather jacket, and a glittery glove on one hand only. As a child in the early '80s, it's impossible to understate to future generations how huge Micheal Jackson was.
For your viewing and listening pleasure, here are both the music video to "Billie Jean" and Jackson's performance on the Motown 25 Special (the moonwalk is at the 3:38 mark).
But to make up for it, boy do I have a treat for you. Thirty-five years ago today was the Motown 25 Special, a tribute concert special on NBC to celebrate Motown Records's 25th anniversary. The lineup was ridiculous: Stevie Wonder; Marvin Gaye; a battle of the bands between The Temptations and the Four Tops; reunions of The Supremes, The Miracles, and the Jackson 5; Mary Wells; Martha Reeves; Junior Walker; Lionel Richie; The Commodores; DeBarge.
But one man stood above the rest. As the Jackson 5 ended their set, their lead singer -- the diminutive 24-year-old Michael -- stayed out on stage for a solo performance that would cement his status as a pop icon. It's not that Michael Jackson wasn't already a star. Obviously, he was the lead singer of the Jackson 5, who had 19 Top 40 hits (including 10 Top 10s and four #1s) between 1969 and 1980. And he had his own string of Top 10 solo hits in the '70s and through 1980.
Of course, Thriller came out in 1982. Jackson's duet with Paul McCartney, "The Girl Is Mine" had hit #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1982. "Billie Jean" was released in January 1983 and had already spent 7 weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in March and April of that year, and "Beat It" was #1 on the charts at the time of the Motown 25 Special.
But Jackson's performance of "Billie Jean" during the Motown 25 Special is one of legend because he unveiled for the first time the moonwalk -- a dance move copied by what I estimate to be every single person who has ever seen it who has working legs. And with one backwards glide, he went from being Michael Jackson to being Michael Jackson. Suddenly, every kid in America wanted parachute pants, a studded red leather jacket, and a glittery glove on one hand only. As a child in the early '80s, it's impossible to understate to future generations how huge Micheal Jackson was.
For your viewing and listening pleasure, here are both the music video to "Billie Jean" and Jackson's performance on the Motown 25 Special (the moonwalk is at the 3:38 mark).
Monday, May 14, 2018
Midwestern Eavesdropping
Fortysomething male: "I think we all have situational Crohn's Disease."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Sixtysomething male, far too loud, to his wife while waiting in long line to buy tickets on Mother's Day: "You are the most annoying person I have ever encountered in my fucking life."
--Arlington Heights, IL, Arlington Race Course
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Thirtysomething male at a bar: "I don't have hair on my chest. I'm a total twink."
--Chicago, Ceres, 141 W. Jackson
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Businessman in his late 30s or early 40s, to a taxi driver outside a hotel: "Do you go to the airport?"
--Chicago, State and Illinois
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Fortysomething male: "Every culture has their own fermented shit."
--Chicago, Ceres, 141 W. Jackson
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Sixtysomething male, far too loud, to his wife while waiting in long line to buy tickets on Mother's Day: "You are the most annoying person I have ever encountered in my fucking life."
--Arlington Heights, IL, Arlington Race Course
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Thirtysomething male at a bar: "I don't have hair on my chest. I'm a total twink."
--Chicago, Ceres, 141 W. Jackson
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
--Chicago, State and Illinois
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Fortysomething male: "Every culture has their own fermented shit."
--Chicago, Ceres, 141 W. Jackson
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Friday, May 11, 2018
Hair Band Friday - 5/11/18
1. "Big Trouble" by David Lee Roth
2. "Big City Nights" by Scorpions
3. "While The City Sleeps" by Kiss
4. "Don't Give Up An Inch" by Poison
5. "Mean Streak" by Y&T
6. "Diary Of A Madman" by Ozzy Osbourne
7. "Let's Make It" by AC/DC
8. "Everybody Wants Some!" by Van Halen
9. "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad" by Def Leppard
10. "Three Lock Box" by Sammy Hagar
2. "Big City Nights" by Scorpions
3. "While The City Sleeps" by Kiss
4. "Don't Give Up An Inch" by Poison
5. "Mean Streak" by Y&T
6. "Diary Of A Madman" by Ozzy Osbourne
7. "Let's Make It" by AC/DC
8. "Everybody Wants Some!" by Van Halen
9. "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad" by Def Leppard
10. "Three Lock Box" by Sammy Hagar
Wednesday, May 09, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Special" by Garbage
This Friday marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Garbage's second studio album, the aptly titled Version 2.0. In my mind, Garbage is one of those underrated bands from the '90s that kind of flies under the radar, but whose songs I've always liked.
While the band's 1995 self-titled debut was certainly a success, Version 2.0 was even bigger. The album went platinum in the U.S., UK, EU, Australia, Canada, Spain, and New Zealand; topped out at #13 on the Billboard album charts; hit #1 on the UK, French, and Scottish album charts; and cracked the Top 5 on the album charts in eight other countries.
Version 2.0 had several songs that populated MTV and the Billboard Alternative Tracks charts, like "I Think I'm Paranoid," "Special," "Push It," and "When I Grow Up." I chose "Special" for this week's Retro Video of the Week, mostly because the video centers around a 31st Century dog fight -- the fighter plane kind of dog flight, not the Michael Vick kind. Calm down, PETA.
While the band's 1995 self-titled debut was certainly a success, Version 2.0 was even bigger. The album went platinum in the U.S., UK, EU, Australia, Canada, Spain, and New Zealand; topped out at #13 on the Billboard album charts; hit #1 on the UK, French, and Scottish album charts; and cracked the Top 5 on the album charts in eight other countries.
Version 2.0 had several songs that populated MTV and the Billboard Alternative Tracks charts, like "I Think I'm Paranoid," "Special," "Push It," and "When I Grow Up." I chose "Special" for this week's Retro Video of the Week, mostly because the video centers around a 31st Century dog fight -- the fighter plane kind of dog flight, not the Michael Vick kind. Calm down, PETA.
Tuesday, May 08, 2018
Tuesday Top Ten: Ten Albums That Had An Impact On Me and Are Still in My Rotation
If you're on the Facebooks, you have probably recently seen -- or maybe even participated in! -- the ten albums challenge. Basically, you are supposed to post album covers -- one a day for ten days in a row -- of albums that made an impact on you and are still in your rotation. You're just supposed to post the album cover with no explanation. Then you're supposed to nominate someone else to do it, and the chain will conceivably continue until Lord Zuckerberg deems fit.
No one nominated me, which hurts more than you'll ever know. But I probably would have forgotten on the fourth or fifth day anyway, and then the whole damn thing would have been ruined. So instead, I'm just going to post them here. The way I look at this is that these are albums I loved or was influenced by when I was younger and that I still love and listen to today.
But before we get started, I'm also going to add a couple limiting/clarifying rules, otherwise this whole exercise is too ambiguous, and ambiguity is the concubine of confusion.
Here are my rules:
1. These have to be albums I owned before I went to college (i.e., on or before August 25, 1996). That means that, even if it was an album released before then that I subsequently purchased and loved and still listen to, it's out.
2. In addition to being albums that had an impact on me when they came out and/or when I became aware of them, these have to be albums I have listened to with consistent regularity since then, keeping in mind that with the dawn of iPods and digital music, sometimes we don't always listen to full albums as much as we used to.
3. This is not a "my favorite albums when I was in high school" list. To that end, I am excluding albums that I may have loved in high school and listened to regularly for some period of time, but no longer listen to on what I would objectively consider a regular basis, even if I still enjoy the music (2Pac's Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z. comes to mind).
4. I have to still own the album. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't still be in my regular rotation if I didn't own it, which makes this rule completely redundant and unnecessary. In fact, I'm not even sure why I kept this rule instead of just deleting it.
5. I must own the full album, and not just one or several songs off of the album.
6. Only one album per artist.
7. Greatest hits albums are allowed, but will be disregarded if I have since acquired the artists studio albums that contain all or most of the songs on the greatest hits album (which is partially why The Rolling Stones, Bowie, Cream, and Dylan, among others, are not on the list). Live albums or "live in studio" albums (like BBC sessions) by one artist are allowed. Soundtracks are strictly forbidden.
8. Keeping with the rules of the post, I will just post the album cover without any explanation.
9. I nominate everyone in the world, except people who like EDM.
10. No more than ten rules.
Here are my ten (in alphabetical order by artist), with some honorable mentions to follow:
1. Spirit of America by The Beach Boys
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2. License to Ill by The Beastie Boys
3. Abbey Road by The Beatles
4. Hysteria by Def Leppard
5. The Doors by The Doors
6. Appetite for Destruction by Guns N' Roses
7. Radio One by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
8. Untitled (IV, Zoso, Runes, etc.) by Led Zeppelin
9. Straight Outta Compton by N.W.A.
10. Weezer by Weezer
Honorable mention: Odelay by Beck; Boston by Boston; The Chronic by Dr. Dre; Thriller by Michael Jackson; Metallica by Metallica; Dr. Feelgood by Mötley Crüe; Abraxas by Santana; Skid Row by Skid Row; Doggystyle by Snoop Doggy Dogg; Core by Stone Temple Pilots; 1984 by Van Halen; Tommy by The Who
No one nominated me, which hurts more than you'll ever know. But I probably would have forgotten on the fourth or fifth day anyway, and then the whole damn thing would have been ruined. So instead, I'm just going to post them here. The way I look at this is that these are albums I loved or was influenced by when I was younger and that I still love and listen to today.
But before we get started, I'm also going to add a couple limiting/clarifying rules, otherwise this whole exercise is too ambiguous, and ambiguity is the concubine of confusion.
Here are my rules:
1. These have to be albums I owned before I went to college (i.e., on or before August 25, 1996). That means that, even if it was an album released before then that I subsequently purchased and loved and still listen to, it's out.
2. In addition to being albums that had an impact on me when they came out and/or when I became aware of them, these have to be albums I have listened to with consistent regularity since then, keeping in mind that with the dawn of iPods and digital music, sometimes we don't always listen to full albums as much as we used to.
3. This is not a "my favorite albums when I was in high school" list. To that end, I am excluding albums that I may have loved in high school and listened to regularly for some period of time, but no longer listen to on what I would objectively consider a regular basis, even if I still enjoy the music (2Pac's Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z. comes to mind).
4. I have to still own the album. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't still be in my regular rotation if I didn't own it, which makes this rule completely redundant and unnecessary. In fact, I'm not even sure why I kept this rule instead of just deleting it.
5. I must own the full album, and not just one or several songs off of the album.
6. Only one album per artist.
7. Greatest hits albums are allowed, but will be disregarded if I have since acquired the artists studio albums that contain all or most of the songs on the greatest hits album (which is partially why The Rolling Stones, Bowie, Cream, and Dylan, among others, are not on the list). Live albums or "live in studio" albums (like BBC sessions) by one artist are allowed. Soundtracks are strictly forbidden.
8. Keeping with the rules of the post, I will just post the album cover without any explanation.
9. I nominate everyone in the world, except people who like EDM.
10. No more than ten rules.
Here are my ten (in alphabetical order by artist), with some honorable mentions to follow:
1. Spirit of America by The Beach Boys
2. License to Ill by The Beastie Boys
3. Abbey Road by The Beatles
4. Hysteria by Def Leppard
5. The Doors by The Doors
6. Appetite for Destruction by Guns N' Roses
7. Radio One by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
8. Untitled (IV, Zoso, Runes, etc.) by Led Zeppelin
9. Straight Outta Compton by N.W.A.
10. Weezer by Weezer
Honorable mention: Odelay by Beck; Boston by Boston; The Chronic by Dr. Dre; Thriller by Michael Jackson; Metallica by Metallica; Dr. Feelgood by Mötley Crüe; Abraxas by Santana; Skid Row by Skid Row; Doggystyle by Snoop Doggy Dogg; Core by Stone Temple Pilots; 1984 by Van Halen; Tommy by The Who
Friday, May 04, 2018
Hair Band Friday - 5/4/18
1. "Livin' For The Minute" by Poison
2. "Here Comes Trouble" by Dangerous Toys
3. "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)" (live) by W.A.S.P.
4. "Buying My Way Into Heaven" by Sammy Hagar
5. "Women" by Def Leppard
6. "Money (In God We Trust)" by Extreme
7. "Shot In The Dark" by Junkyard
8. "I Believe" by Bon Jovi
9. "Hot For Teacher" by Van Halen
10. "Bark At The Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne
2. "Here Comes Trouble" by Dangerous Toys
3. "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)" (live) by W.A.S.P.
4. "Buying My Way Into Heaven" by Sammy Hagar
5. "Women" by Def Leppard
6. "Money (In God We Trust)" by Extreme
7. "Shot In The Dark" by Junkyard
8. "I Believe" by Bon Jovi
9. "Hot For Teacher" by Van Halen
10. "Bark At The Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne
Wednesday, May 02, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Ricky" by Weird Al Yankovic
Thirty-five years ago tomorrow, master song parodist Weird Al Yankovic released his debut album -- the aptly titled "Weird Al" Yankovic. Weird Al has been such an ubiquitous fixture since then that it's hard to imagine that he had difficulty getting a record deal because he was viewed as a novelty act that would maybe produce one memorable song before fading into the ether.
His debut album -- produced by Rick Derringer of "Rock and Roll Hoochie Coo" and The McCoys ("Hang On Sloopy") fame -- was a masterpiece in comedic songwriting, featuring five parodies of famous songs and seven Yankovic originals.
I had this tape back in the day, and admittedly, I bought it several years later, after Weird Al was already huge. Nonetheless, I loved pretty much every song on the album. Of his originals, I'd have to say "Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung" was my favorite. But, of course, it's the parodies that really put him on the map. I distinctly remember laughing out loud listening to "My Bologna" and "Another One Rides The Bus" for the first time. For a long time, I knew those songs, along with "I Love Rocky Road," "Ricky," and "Stop Draggin' My Car Around," better than the originals.
I'm going with "Ricky" as this week's Retro Video of the Week. It was Weird Al's first video, and probably the first comedic video that was played on MTV. The song is a double parody, with the music parodying Toni Basil's "Mickey" and the lyrics parodying I Love Lucy. "Ricky" was Weird Al's first song to chart on the Billboard Hot 100, reaching #63 and becoming a harbinger for the success he would have over the next 30+ years. All of this reminds me that it's time to force my kids to watch UHF.
Interesting tidbit: In the song and the video, "Lucy" is voiced superbly by voice actor Tress MacNeill, who, among many other things, has voiced (or still voices) various characters on The Simpsons (including Agnes Skinner and Dolph), various characters on Futurama, Daisy Duck, Chip in Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers, and Babs Bunny from Tiny Toon Adventures.
His debut album -- produced by Rick Derringer of "Rock and Roll Hoochie Coo" and The McCoys ("Hang On Sloopy") fame -- was a masterpiece in comedic songwriting, featuring five parodies of famous songs and seven Yankovic originals.
I had this tape back in the day, and admittedly, I bought it several years later, after Weird Al was already huge. Nonetheless, I loved pretty much every song on the album. Of his originals, I'd have to say "Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung" was my favorite. But, of course, it's the parodies that really put him on the map. I distinctly remember laughing out loud listening to "My Bologna" and "Another One Rides The Bus" for the first time. For a long time, I knew those songs, along with "I Love Rocky Road," "Ricky," and "Stop Draggin' My Car Around," better than the originals.
I'm going with "Ricky" as this week's Retro Video of the Week. It was Weird Al's first video, and probably the first comedic video that was played on MTV. The song is a double parody, with the music parodying Toni Basil's "Mickey" and the lyrics parodying I Love Lucy. "Ricky" was Weird Al's first song to chart on the Billboard Hot 100, reaching #63 and becoming a harbinger for the success he would have over the next 30+ years. All of this reminds me that it's time to force my kids to watch UHF.
Interesting tidbit: In the song and the video, "Lucy" is voiced superbly by voice actor Tress MacNeill, who, among many other things, has voiced (or still voices) various characters on The Simpsons (including Agnes Skinner and Dolph), various characters on Futurama, Daisy Duck, Chip in Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers, and Babs Bunny from Tiny Toon Adventures.
Tuesday, May 01, 2018
Tuesday Top Ten: Most Successful Heisman Trophy Winners
At last week's NFL draft, the first round was bookended by Heisman Trophy winners. Oklahoma's Baker Mayfield -- this past season's Heisman winner -- went first overall to the Cleveland Browns, while 2016 winner -- Louisville's Lamar Jackson -- went to the former Cleveland Browns, the Baltimore Ravens, with the last pick in the first round. It wasn't the first time two Heisman Trophy winners have been drafted in the first round of the same draft -- it happened in 2015 (Jameis Winston and Marcus Mariota), 2011 (Cam Newton and Mark Ingram) -- but it got me thinking about the success of Heisman winners in the NFL. I think both Mayfield and Jackson are great quarterbacks who have the skills to play professional football successfully for a long time. Then again, I thought the same thing about Andrew Ware and Matt Leinart.
So with that, I decided to dig into the successes (or lack thereof) of Heisman Trophy winners to come up with the ten most successful Heisman winners. And by "most successful," I don't mean most successful in life. No one gives a shit about that. I'm talking about success in the NFL.
So with that, I decided to dig into the successes (or lack thereof) of Heisman Trophy winners to come up with the ten most successful Heisman winners. And by "most successful," I don't mean most successful in life. No one gives a shit about that. I'm talking about success in the NFL.
Of the 82 Heisman Trophy winners (and I'm including Reggie Bush, even though his was vacated), here are some interesting stats:
- Nine Heisman winners have been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
- Not including the six Heisman winners who are still playing in the NFL (or the last two winners, Baker Mayfield and Lamar Jackson, who, as discussed above, were just drafted), the remaining 74 Heisman winners have had an average NFL career of 6.31 years. This obviously doesn't take into account any time spent in the USFL or CFL, but it does include the AFL and AAFC. All in all, it's a pretty solid average for an NFL career.
- Heisman winners, on average, have only made it to about 1.4 Pro Bowls (or All-Pro teams, if they didn't make the Pro Bowl, but somehow still made the All-Pro team, or AFL or AAFC all-star teams).
- Heisman winners have won a total of 28 Super Bowls, pre-Super Bowl era NFL or AFL Championships, or AAFC Championships, which is a measly average of .34 championships for every Heisman winner. When you take into account multiple championships, only 18 Heisman winners have hoisted a championship trophy, which means only 22.5% of Heisman winners have played on championship teams. In the Super Bowl era, that number is even worse, as only 10 Heisman winners have won a total of 12 Super Bowls:
- Roger Staubach (Navy, 1963; Super Bowls VI and XII)
- John Huarte (Notre Dame, 1964; Super Bowl IV)
- Mike Garrett (USC, 1965; Super Bowl IV)
- Jim Plunkett (Stanford, 1970; Super Bowls XV and XVIII)
- Tony Dorsett (Pitt, 1976; Super Bowl XII)
- George Rogers (South Carolina, 1980; Super Bowl XXII)
- Marcus Allen (USC, 1981; Super Bowl XVIII)
- Desmond Howard (Michigan, 1991; Super Bowl XXXI)
- Charles Woodson (Michigan, 1997; Super Bowl XLV)
- Reggie Bush (USC, 2005; Super Bowl XLIV)
So here are what I would consider the ten most successful Heisman winners in the NFL. It pains me that I couldn't figure out a way to put Bo Jackson on this list, but, like I said, it's based on success in the NFL, not success in being part of the best ad campaign of the late '80s and early '90s. Anyway, here's my list, in chronological order by Heisman winning year.
1. Alan Ameche (Wisconsin, 1954)
Years in the NFL: 6
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 4
Championships: 2
Pro Football Hall of Fame: No
After winning the Heisman in 1954, Ameche went on to have a great pro career with the Baltimore Colts, famously scoring the winning TD in the 1958 NFL Championship game -- the first NFL playoff game that ever went to sudden death overtime (aka, "The Greatest Game Ever Played"). An Achilles injury forced him to retire after six seasons, but he made the most of his time in the NFL, rushing for over 4,000 yards, catching over 100 receptions, and scoring 44 touchdowns. He made four Pro Bowls and was key part of the Colts' back-to-back championship teams in 1958 and 1959. Had his career not been cut short by injury, he was definitely on track for a Hall of Fame career.
1. Alan Ameche (Wisconsin, 1954)
Years in the NFL: 6
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 4
Championships: 2
Pro Football Hall of Fame: No
After winning the Heisman in 1954, Ameche went on to have a great pro career with the Baltimore Colts, famously scoring the winning TD in the 1958 NFL Championship game -- the first NFL playoff game that ever went to sudden death overtime (aka, "The Greatest Game Ever Played"). An Achilles injury forced him to retire after six seasons, but he made the most of his time in the NFL, rushing for over 4,000 yards, catching over 100 receptions, and scoring 44 touchdowns. He made four Pro Bowls and was key part of the Colts' back-to-back championship teams in 1958 and 1959. Had his career not been cut short by injury, he was definitely on track for a Hall of Fame career.
2. Paul Hornung (Notre Dame, 1956)
Years in the NFL: 9
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 2
Championships: 4
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1986)
"The Golden Boy" was a versatile player, who played halfback and kicked in the NFL, but also played quarterback, safety, and fullback (and basketball!) while at Notre Dame. Since 2010, an award named after him has been given to the most versatile college football player. To this day, he is the only Heisman winner from a team with a losing record (although we all know Anthony Thompson got robbed in 1989), and he is the only person to win the Heisman Trophy, be #1 overall pick in the NFL Draft, win the NFL MVP award, and be inducted into both the pro and college football halls of fame. Hornung was a large piece of the Packers' championships in the mid '60s, although an injury kept him out of Super Bowl I, and he retired the next year after being selected in the expansion draft by the Saints.
Years in the NFL: 9
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 2
Championships: 4
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1986)
"The Golden Boy" was a versatile player, who played halfback and kicked in the NFL, but also played quarterback, safety, and fullback (and basketball!) while at Notre Dame. Since 2010, an award named after him has been given to the most versatile college football player. To this day, he is the only Heisman winner from a team with a losing record (although we all know Anthony Thompson got robbed in 1989), and he is the only person to win the Heisman Trophy, be #1 overall pick in the NFL Draft, win the NFL MVP award, and be inducted into both the pro and college football halls of fame. Hornung was a large piece of the Packers' championships in the mid '60s, although an injury kept him out of Super Bowl I, and he retired the next year after being selected in the expansion draft by the Saints.
3. Roger Staubach (Navy, 1963)
Years in the NFL/AFL/AAFC: 11
Pro Bowl/All-Pro/All-stars: 6
Championships: 2
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1985)
Roger Staubach has a pretty amazing story. He won the Heisman in 1963, but then served in the Navy (including in Vietnam) after graduation. His rookie year in the NFL wasn't until 1969, when he was 27. Age didn't hold him back, as he started at QB in four Super Bowls for the Cowboys, winning two. He made six Pro Bowls, and retired with the NFL's second-highest all-time passer rating. And he invented the term "Hail Mary" when referring to a last-second pass to the endzone.
Years in the NFL/AFL/AAFC: 11
Pro Bowl/All-Pro/All-stars: 6
Championships: 2
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1985)
Roger Staubach has a pretty amazing story. He won the Heisman in 1963, but then served in the Navy (including in Vietnam) after graduation. His rookie year in the NFL wasn't until 1969, when he was 27. Age didn't hold him back, as he started at QB in four Super Bowls for the Cowboys, winning two. He made six Pro Bowls, and retired with the NFL's second-highest all-time passer rating. And he invented the term "Hail Mary" when referring to a last-second pass to the endzone.
4. O.J. Simpson (USC, 1968)
Years in the NFL/AFL: 11
Pro Bowl/All-Pro/All-stars: 5
Championships: 0
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1985)
Before he was not murdering his ex-wife and her lover, O.J. Simpson was the best running back in the world for most of the 1970s. The Juice was the first running back to break the 2,000-yard barrier in a season, rushing for 2,003 yards in 1973 (when it was still a 14-game season, mind you). He led the league in rushing four times in five years, and retired second on the NFL's all-time rushing list behind only Jim Brown.
5. Tony Dorsett (Pittsburgh, 1976)
Pro Bowl/All-Pro/All-stars: 5
Championships: 0
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1985)
Before he was not murdering his ex-wife and her lover, O.J. Simpson was the best running back in the world for most of the 1970s. The Juice was the first running back to break the 2,000-yard barrier in a season, rushing for 2,003 yards in 1973 (when it was still a 14-game season, mind you). He led the league in rushing four times in five years, and retired second on the NFL's all-time rushing list behind only Jim Brown.
5. Tony Dorsett (Pittsburgh, 1976)
Years in the NFL: 12
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 4
Championships: 1
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1994)
Unless you're a Dallas Cowboys fan, Tony Dorsett is kind of one of those forgotten greats. He wasn't as flashy as OJ Simpson or Walter Payton, but he was kind of like Emmitt Smith before Emmitt Smith -- just a solid, dependable running back. Dorsett rushed for over 1,000 yards in eight of his first nine seasons (with the strike-shortened 1982 season being the only exception). When he retired, he trailed only Walter Payton on the NFL's all-time rushing list. He also hauled in 398 receptions for over 3,500 yards over his career.
6. Earl Campbell (Texas, 1977)
Years in the NFL: 8
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 5
Championships: 0
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1991)
If you grew up in Houston in the late '70s or early '80s like I did, Earl Campbell was the biggest name in town. The centerpiece in the "Luv Ya Blue" era for the Oilers, Campbell was a man among boys on the football field, punishing opposing defenders on a weekly basis and leading the NFL in rushing in each of his first three seasons. Unfortunately, his bruising rushing style took a toll on his body, and he retired after only eight seasons. He finished with over 9,400 yards rushing and 74 touchdowns.
7. Marcus Allen (USC, 1981)
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 4
Championships: 1
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1994)
Unless you're a Dallas Cowboys fan, Tony Dorsett is kind of one of those forgotten greats. He wasn't as flashy as OJ Simpson or Walter Payton, but he was kind of like Emmitt Smith before Emmitt Smith -- just a solid, dependable running back. Dorsett rushed for over 1,000 yards in eight of his first nine seasons (with the strike-shortened 1982 season being the only exception). When he retired, he trailed only Walter Payton on the NFL's all-time rushing list. He also hauled in 398 receptions for over 3,500 yards over his career.
6. Earl Campbell (Texas, 1977)
Years in the NFL: 8
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 5
Championships: 0
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (1991)
If you grew up in Houston in the late '70s or early '80s like I did, Earl Campbell was the biggest name in town. The centerpiece in the "Luv Ya Blue" era for the Oilers, Campbell was a man among boys on the football field, punishing opposing defenders on a weekly basis and leading the NFL in rushing in each of his first three seasons. Unfortunately, his bruising rushing style took a toll on his body, and he retired after only eight seasons. He finished with over 9,400 yards rushing and 74 touchdowns.
7. Marcus Allen (USC, 1981)
Years in the NFL: 16
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 6
Championships: 1
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (2003)
Marcus Allen had a 16-year NFL career, which is insane for a running back. And it's not like he tapered off at the end of his career, either. In his last season, he scored 11 TDs. Allen is the only player to have won the Heisman Trophy, an NCAA national championship, the Super Bowl, and be named NFL MVP and Super Bowl MVP. His 74-yard touchdown run in Super Bowl XVIII is one of most memorable runs in Super Bowl History. Allen was also the first NFL player to rush for over 10,000 yards and have over 5,000 receiving yards, and his 123 rushing TDs was an NFL record when he retired. All of this is even more amazing if you consider that he shared the Raiders' backfield with Bo Jackson for four seasons.
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 6
Championships: 1
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (2003)
Marcus Allen had a 16-year NFL career, which is insane for a running back. And it's not like he tapered off at the end of his career, either. In his last season, he scored 11 TDs. Allen is the only player to have won the Heisman Trophy, an NCAA national championship, the Super Bowl, and be named NFL MVP and Super Bowl MVP. His 74-yard touchdown run in Super Bowl XVIII is one of most memorable runs in Super Bowl History. Allen was also the first NFL player to rush for over 10,000 yards and have over 5,000 receiving yards, and his 123 rushing TDs was an NFL record when he retired. All of this is even more amazing if you consider that he shared the Raiders' backfield with Bo Jackson for four seasons.
8. Tim Brown (Notre Dame, 1987)
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 9
Championships: 0
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (2015)
After becoming the first wide receiver to win the Heisman Trophy, Brown went on to become one of the most prolific receivers in NFL history. Among other records, he holds the NFL record for most consecutive seasons with 75 or more receptions (10) and the most consecutive starts by a wide receiver (176). He finished his career with over 1,000 receptions, nearly 15,000 receiving yards, and 100 receiving TDs (in addition to one rushing TD and four return TDs).
9. Barry Sanders (Oklahoma State, 1988)
Years in the NFL: 10
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 10
Championships: 0
Pro Football Hall of Fame: Yes (2004)
In my mind, there are three and only three running backs that someone can plausibly argue is the best running back ever: Jim Brown, Walter Payton, and Barry Sanders. Had Sanders not retired after ten seasons, he likely would have broken Payton's all-time rushing record. As a Bears fan, I'm okay with his early retirement, not only because he didn't break Payton's record, but also because that meant the Bears didn't have to play against Sanders twice a year.
10. Charles Woodson (Michigan, 1997)
Years in the NFL: 18
Pro Bowl/All-Pro: 9
Championships: 1
Pro Football Hall of Fame: No (eligible in 2020)
Woodson is the only primarily defensive player to win the Heisman (and is the last winner that wasn't a running back or quarterback), and went on to become one of the best cornerbacks in the NFL. Over his amazing 18 years in the NFL, he amassed 65 interceptions, 33 forced fumbles, 13 defensive TDs, and 20 sacks. I expect that he will be in Canton as soon as he's eligible.
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