Midwestern Eavesdropping - 4/15/10

1st grade teacher referring to a Biggest Loser contestant: "He is the sickest fuck I've ever seen. I think I'll call him chin pubes."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething female: "My grandpa said dont stand in front of the microwave it will make you sterile, so I always stand in front of the microwave."
--Chicago, Hopleaf, Clark & Foster
Eavesdropper: Tron

4th grade teacher: "Someone needs to piss on me tonight. All of you need to piss on me tonight."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Guy and gal having a conversation about if he's still interested in her or not, and she says: "My vagina is a whole lot closer to you right now than hers is."
--Durham, NC
Eavesdropper: Shep

4th grade teacher on her golden birthday to her husband: "Josh, I brought our anal beads."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething female: "I like bad things to happen to Notre Dame, but I guess I don't want people to die."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

4th grade teacher on her golden birthday: "Tell her I will put my vagina on her forehead, even if it has a rash."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Late twenties attorney: "I really need to up my pot habit."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Can Can

Twentysomething marketing executive on opening day: "This is the cleanest day of the year for the trough. I think I'll drink from the trough!"
--Chicago, Wrigley Field, Clark & Addison
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

5th grade teacher recalling a night out: "I probably had slinger all over me."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

5th grade teacher: "We only like red wine. That's why our teeth are fucked up."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething special ed teacher during dinner: "I want that sauce all over my face."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thanks to all who contributed, and to Chicago Public School teachers for opening their mouths. And remember, whenever you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, and it will be included in the next exciting installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.