Shit I Hate: People Who Are Too Cool or Too Hurried For Stop Signs

This morning, I was walking Harley. She poops in the mornings, and we'd rather she do it outside. At the end of my block, there is a four-way stop. It's a block north of a major east-west thoroughfare, and in between two relatively busy north-south streets, so people are always cutting through in all directions, often ignoring the red octogon positioned conspicuously on the right side of each corner.

Anyway, I was walking Harley and about to step into the crosswalk when I see a black Passat barreling down the street towards us at what had to be 40-50 miles per hour. I yanked Harley back, and the driver noticed us in time to slam on her breaks to come to a stop halfway through the crosswalk. Had I not yanked Harley back, this bitch would have definitely hit her. And then I would have broke some shit, most notably my hand as I rained blows on her hood.

Instead, I yelled, "What the fuck!" Then I stared her right in the eyes, pointed to the stop sign and yelled, "That's a stop sign, asshole! Slow your shit down!" She was blond, so I'm not sure she understood a single thing that came out of my mouth. Then she mouthed "sorry" and appeared to gesture as if she had no idea the stop sign was there, you know, because there aren't stop signs on every single residential block in the City of Chicago. I hope she gets t-boned the next time and paralyzed from the neck down. It's the only way she'll learn.

I've come to expect this kind of behavior from people who drive Range Rovers because traffic laws don't apply to them, and they always have somewhere important to be because, well, they're better than you and me. But lately, I've noticed all makes and models of cars blowing through this intersection without stopping. It happens a lot in the morning, when people are on their way to work, and that extra half-second of stopping clearly means the difference between getting to work on time or getting fired. Hey dicknose, leave a few minutes earlier if that's an issue.

The worst is when people don't even look to their left or right and just drive through the intersection like if they don't see other cars and people, then they must not exist. Or the people who see me about to cross the street and blow through the stop sign so they don't have to wait the two seconds it takes for me to cross in front of them. These are the people who most deserve to die, and the people at whom I usually end up yelling and flipping the bird. There are a fair number of kids on the four blocks leading to this intersection. If the idiot this morning couldn't see me as I was about to cross the street, then she definitely would not have been able to see a kid crossing the street.

Seriously people, slow your shit down.