Tuesday Top Ten: Funny College Things and Dead Athletes

I've been busy returning videotapes again this week.  Such is the life of the only videotape returner/trapeze artist left in the country.  Like the Soup Nazi suffered for his soup, I suffer for my tapes.  Maybe Hollywood should take a hint and put I Spit on Your Grave out on Blu-ray.  That would save me some time.  I haven't had time to formulate a Tuesday Top Ten worthy of your attention.  Alas, I communicate telepathically with the good people at several websites, who have sent me links to worthy proxies for my usual self-serving, incoherent ramblings about music.  Here they are:


1.  The good people at OnlineColleges.net sent me a link to their article "25 Funniest College Sports Traditions."  My favorite is #9.  Penn State did not make the list, as there is nothing funny about a tradition of covering up child rape.  John Calipari taking a team to the Final Four and then leaving just before the NCAA sanctions the school and vacates the Final Four didn't crack the Top 25.  Something else hilarious that didn't make the list is the fact that Purdue fans continue to show up to their school's sporting events knowing that there is not a chance in hell whatever Purdue team they're watching will win a national championship.


2.  Continuing with the theme of funny college-related things, the good people at OnlineCollege.org (as far as I know, no relation to OnlineColleges.net, but maybe they should hook up) sent me a link to their article "15 Funny College Mascots of Yesteryear."  I'm still pissed Ole Miss didn't change their mascot to Admiral Akbar.  #11 is quite funny.  #15 is also pretty good.  The Nebraska Mankilling Mastadons is a bit more intimidating than someone who husks corn.  One glaring omission, in my mind, is the IU mascot used briefly in the '70s named "Hoosier Pride," who was essentially a large-jawed ginger with a red IU cowboy hat.  This, of course, was after IU used a live buffalo as its mascot.


3.  Taking a ill-fated turn and reminding us that all that is funny eventually comes to an end, the good people at InsuranceQuotes.org sent me a link to their article "10 Athletes Who Died Playing Their Sport.  Key omissions:  Owen Hart, HANK FUCKING GATHERS, and John Belushi.