1. Friday afternoon, the office closed early. That, combined with the Dexedrine, had whipped me into a frenzy, so I sprinted the three miles home rather than take the L. People I passed on the street were in absolute awe as I breezed past them. I should also point out that my office has moved to an all-mesh dress code.
2. Friday night, I went to Rocks with Gregerson, his ladyfriend Colleen, and Daniel. Karaoke was sung. I was baffled when a dude got up there to sing "Gin and Juice" and had to stop after the first verse because he didn't know the words. First, he broke the most important rule of karaoke: don't sing a song you don't know the words to. Second, who doesn't know every word to "Gin and Juice?" To make up for his horrible performance, someone else got up there and did a flawless "Nuthin' But a G Thang" with no words on the screen. Gregerson and I performed an eerie spoken-word version of Skid Row's "18 and Life."
3. Saturday morning, morning I got a haircut. Just to clear up any potential confusion, I got them all cut. All of them.
4. Saturday afternoon, we took the kids to Arlington to teach them how to handicap the ponies. It was hot as balls, but the experience was worth it. As it turns out, all you have to do to win money is correctly predict the finishing order of horses. Here was our view.
6. Sunday afternoon, we went to my nephew's first birthday. This happened.
7. Sunday evening, the kids were at my mom's house for the night, so Jester and I raged (well, that was my goal anyway). We went to a house party/cookout, where we drank some beers and debated whether pro football will exist in 30 years. (It will, by the way, so calm down.) After that, we went to Old Town Ale House for a beer, then to Fireside Inn for literally 30 seconds, then to Gamekeepers for a couple drinks and a few swings at the punching bag. Jester was having indigestion, heartburn, or some other made-up gastrointestinal malady, so we went home around 1:30, instead of 4, as I had hoped. We hopped into a cab, when I performed what I thought was a noble act. Jester was wearing a dress with a braided leather belt over it, since apparently chicks can't just wear dresses by themselves anymore. After we got into the cab, she took the belt off and said something like, "Oh, I feel so much better." This indicated to me that the belt was the source of her discomfort, so I did what any loving husband who doesn't want to see his wife suffer would do. I held out my hand. She gave me the belt. I immediately dropped it out of the cab window onto Lincoln Avenue. That was not what she wanted. A tirade ensued, resulting in the cab pulling two mid-block U-turns so that we could retrieve the belt. After we got the belt back, we spent the rest of the ride home laughing.
8. Monday morning, I got my chest full of white pants out of storage.
9. Monday for lunch, we met up with Jester's friend Beth, who was in town with her husband and his kids for the weekend. Jester did not wear a belt. We went to DMK, which is a fantastic burger bar not too far from where we live. I got the Santo, which is a special burger for May on Cubs home games. It is a burger topped with Italian beef, fontina cheese, giardiniera, and au jus. It was delicious. No word on whether, in order to get it on the menu, Cubs fans had to bitch about it not being on the menu for 20 years.
10. Monday afternoon, we went to my mom's for a BBQ. I pounded the last six bottles of Tequiza left in the world, cranked some Sabbath, and punted a mini soccer ball straight up into the air about 40 feet and didn't even move as it fell right back into my hands. The look on Daughter and Lollipop's faces can only be described as a combination of concern and pride.
11. Bonus! Yesterday afternoon around 3:45, Roy's, a furniture store a few blocks from us, went up in flames. It was a pretty big blaze. You could see it from the Loop (several miles away). Several blocks were closed off, and traffic was diverted. This would normally not be major area news, except for the fact that it was located right next to the L tracks about two blocks from a pretty big L station that services three train lines. Train and bus service was interrupted during rush hour, which equates to a disaster for the hundreds of thousands of people who were trying to go north of the Loop to get home. Jester and I decided to share a cab. There were no cabs at the usually full cab stand in front of my building, so we walked about another block and lucked into one at a hotel. Traffic was so bad in our neighborhood because of the fire-related detours that we just got out over a half-mile from our place and walked the rest of the way. Here are a couple photos, courtesy of Creature.
They were already tearing the rest of the building down today. I guess we won't be getting the love seat that matches our couch anytime soon. Our team name last night was One Day Only: Fire Sale at Roy's. We one of about five with Roy's-related names.
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