I will be across the pond in some drunken bastard's motherland next week, so this will be my last post for a week and a half or so. Please enjoy this array of the finest in hair band offerings. Solo Roth AND Hagar?! Ratt's contribution to the Point Break soundtrack?! Classics from Poison, AC/DC, and Nelson (and is that everybody's favorite on-screen serial killer Buffalo Bill as the dad in the "After the Rain" video?!)?! Subtle fowl-based innuendo from Jackyl?! Deep track gems from GNR and Def Leppard?! It all makes up for Mr. Big wasting the talents of Paul Gilbert and Billy Sheehan on a ballad. But then again, this is what posting the first ten songs that randomly play on my iPod does every single fucking Friday. Enjoy Canada Day, the Fourth of July, the World Cup knockout rounds, or whatever else you might be celebrating over the next nine or ten days.
1. "Goin' Crazy" by David Lee Roth
2. "Just Take My Heart" by Mr. Big
3. "After The Rain" by Nelson
4. "I'll Fall In Love Again" by Sammy Hagar
5. "Moneytalks" by AC/DC
6. "Breakdown" by Guns N' Roses
7. "She Loves My Cock" by Jackyl
8. "Nobody Rides for Free" by Ratt
9. "I Want Action" by Poison
10. "Mirror, Mirror (Look Into My Eyes)" by Def Leppard
Friday, June 29, 2018
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Midwestern Eavesdropping
Thirtysomething educator: "I'm numb to child abuse because of my job, but I'm not numb to nutmeg in my fettuccine alfredo. I hate nutmeg in fettuccine alfredo."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Girlschool" by Britny Fox
Apologies for no Tuesday Top Ten yesterday. I was busy with work, kids, and my body painting class I have Tuesday nights. Last night we were working on crevices, which can be difficult. Anywho, here's the video to '80s hair band Britny Fox's "Girlschool" because it happens to be the song I'm listening to right now.
Friday, June 22, 2018
Hair Band Friday - 6/22/18
1. "Rapid Fire" by Judas Priest
2. "Stick You Your Guns" by Mötley Crüe
3. "You Got Me Runnin'" by Def Leppard
4. "Heavy Metal" by Sammy Hagar
5. "What About Love" by Heart
6. "Wanted Man" by Ratt
7. "Spellbound" by AC/DC
8. "Fatal Passion" by Lita Ford
9. "Rock A Bye Bye" by Extreme
10. "Ptolemy" by Blue Murder
2. "Stick You Your Guns" by Mötley Crüe
3. "You Got Me Runnin'" by Def Leppard
4. "Heavy Metal" by Sammy Hagar
5. "What About Love" by Heart
6. "Wanted Man" by Ratt
7. "Spellbound" by AC/DC
8. "Fatal Passion" by Lita Ford
9. "Rock A Bye Bye" by Extreme
10. "Ptolemy" by Blue Murder
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Every Little Step" by Bobby Brown
Twenty-five years ago today, New Edition alum and future domestic abuser Bobby Brown released his second solo album, Don't Be Cruel. Moving away from the bubble gum pop of New Edition and his debut solo album, Brown took the music world by force with Don't Be Cruel, racking up five Top 10 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 -- the title track (#8), "My Prerogative" (#1), "Roni" (#3), "Every Little Step" (#2), and "Rock Wit'cha" (#7). The album sat atop the Billboard album chart for six weeks in early 1989 and on top of the Billboard R&B albums chart for a total of eleven weeks at various times between September 1988 and April 1989, helping earn the album the #1 spot on Billboard's Year-End album chart for 1989. It has now sold over 7 million in the U.S. alone.
Don't Be Cruel also helped kickstart the new jack swing genre, and within a couple years, fellow New Edition alums Bell Biv DeVoe, Ralph Tresvant, and Johnny Gill would all post Top 5 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 and multi-platinum-selling Top 20 albums on the Billboard album charts.
For the video I'm choosing, it was a tough decision between "My Prerogative" and "Every Little Step" because I like both songs. Since I already did a Retro Video of the Week with "My Prerogative" back in the year the world ended, I'm going with "Every Little Step." Enjoy. And don't do hard drugs.
Don't Be Cruel also helped kickstart the new jack swing genre, and within a couple years, fellow New Edition alums Bell Biv DeVoe, Ralph Tresvant, and Johnny Gill would all post Top 5 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 and multi-platinum-selling Top 20 albums on the Billboard album charts.
For the video I'm choosing, it was a tough decision between "My Prerogative" and "Every Little Step" because I like both songs. Since I already did a Retro Video of the Week with "My Prerogative" back in the year the world ended, I'm going with "Every Little Step." Enjoy. And don't do hard drugs.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Tuesday Top Ten: Favorite "Summer" Songs
Thursday is the first day of summer, although by the amount of sweat that has escaped my pores over the last three days, it seems to have shown up a little early this year. I like summer. I don't mind heat, and I generally prefer flip flops, t-shirts, and shorts to snow boots, sweaters, and any kind of pants.
To celebrate the start of summer, here are my ten favorite songs with the word "summer" (or some variation thereof -- "summertime," "summers," "summering," "summerfucking," etc.) in the title, listed alphabetically by artist:
1. "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams
This was one of my first "favorite" songs when I was a wee lad in the suburbs of H-town. My friend Patrick had the Reckless tape, and we listened to it a lot in the summer of '85 -- not having any idea that Bryan Adams was only 9 years old in the summer of 1969. Even after I learned that, it didn't make me love the song any less. It's still one of those songs that I will never get tired of hearing.
2. "Sound of Summer" by Art Brut
I came across British DIY indie art punk (that's a genre, right) rockers Art Brut when they opened for The Hold Steady in 2007, and I have been a fan since. "Sound of Summer" is off of the band's sophomore album, It's a Bit Complicated, and the song highlights Eddie Argos's lyrics and talk-singing (or it is sing-talking?) about making a summer mix tape.
3. "Summertime Blues" by Blue Cheer
I almost went with Eddie Cochran's original version of "Summertime Blues." It's a classic and a great early rock and roll song. But I like Blue Cheer's 1968 cover better. Often cited as one of the first heavy metal songs. It's a psychedelic, fuzzed out ode to being bored during the summer. Other than the original and this one, there are great versions of this song by T. Rex, The Who, and Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.
4. "Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Whenever I hear the opening "drums please," I immediately think of carefree summer days and nights, where you're just hanging out and seeing where the day takes you. It's the perfect song for chillin', maxin', and relaxin'.
5. "Long Hot Summer Night" by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
This is just a fun little Hendrix song, isn't it? Unfortunately, I couldn't find the original anywhere on YouTube, so here is an acoustic, less fun version.
6. "Constructive Summer" by The Hold Steady
This is one of my favorite songs by The Hold Steady, and it's a microcosm of what they're all about: great uptempo rock and roll, with lyrics about getting smashed that you want to sing along to. "Double whiskey, Coke, no ice."
7. "Summer Breeze" by Seals & Crofts
This song came out before I was born, but I think my parents must have listened to it a lot when I was in the womb because it has always been way too familiar to me. And as a bonus, it was on the Dazed and Confused soundtrack, so that gives it an extra boost in my book.
8. "Summer of Dudes" by Township
I have been a fan of Boston-based rockers Township since they formed about 12 years ago. "Summer of Dudes" is a '70s-inspired rock song with a nice riff, some unusually snarling vocals, and a sweet guitar solo. I wish more bands made music like this nowadays. It's not on YouTube, but here is the embed for the LP the song is on (which is available on Bandcamp).
9. "Summer Nights" by Van Halen
I remember hanging out at a local park with a couple friends and a boombox at some point during a summer night in high school, and this song came on the radio (or maybe it was a CD), and it just seemed perfect -- because it's called "Summer Nights."
10. "Summertime Girls" by Y&T
This was the highest-charting song for the Bay Area's Y&T, and it's definitely more "commercial" than their normal harder rocking stuff, but then again, it was the mid '80s. The video is certainly one that would be frowned upon these days.
Honorable mention: "Last Days of Summer" by The Answer; "All Summer Long" by The Beach Boys; "Summer Mood" by Best Coast; "Summertime Blues" by Eddie Cochran; "Indian Summer" by The Doors; "Summertime Blues" by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts; "Summer Girls" by LFO
To celebrate the start of summer, here are my ten favorite songs with the word "summer" (or some variation thereof -- "summertime," "summers," "summering," "summerfucking," etc.) in the title, listed alphabetically by artist:
1. "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams
This was one of my first "favorite" songs when I was a wee lad in the suburbs of H-town. My friend Patrick had the Reckless tape, and we listened to it a lot in the summer of '85 -- not having any idea that Bryan Adams was only 9 years old in the summer of 1969. Even after I learned that, it didn't make me love the song any less. It's still one of those songs that I will never get tired of hearing.
2. "Sound of Summer" by Art Brut
I came across British DIY indie art punk (that's a genre, right) rockers Art Brut when they opened for The Hold Steady in 2007, and I have been a fan since. "Sound of Summer" is off of the band's sophomore album, It's a Bit Complicated, and the song highlights Eddie Argos's lyrics and talk-singing (or it is sing-talking?) about making a summer mix tape.
3. "Summertime Blues" by Blue Cheer
I almost went with Eddie Cochran's original version of "Summertime Blues." It's a classic and a great early rock and roll song. But I like Blue Cheer's 1968 cover better. Often cited as one of the first heavy metal songs. It's a psychedelic, fuzzed out ode to being bored during the summer. Other than the original and this one, there are great versions of this song by T. Rex, The Who, and Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.
4. "Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Whenever I hear the opening "drums please," I immediately think of carefree summer days and nights, where you're just hanging out and seeing where the day takes you. It's the perfect song for chillin', maxin', and relaxin'.
5. "Long Hot Summer Night" by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
This is just a fun little Hendrix song, isn't it? Unfortunately, I couldn't find the original anywhere on YouTube, so here is an acoustic, less fun version.
6. "Constructive Summer" by The Hold Steady
This is one of my favorite songs by The Hold Steady, and it's a microcosm of what they're all about: great uptempo rock and roll, with lyrics about getting smashed that you want to sing along to. "Double whiskey, Coke, no ice."
7. "Summer Breeze" by Seals & Crofts
This song came out before I was born, but I think my parents must have listened to it a lot when I was in the womb because it has always been way too familiar to me. And as a bonus, it was on the Dazed and Confused soundtrack, so that gives it an extra boost in my book.
8. "Summer of Dudes" by Township
I have been a fan of Boston-based rockers Township since they formed about 12 years ago. "Summer of Dudes" is a '70s-inspired rock song with a nice riff, some unusually snarling vocals, and a sweet guitar solo. I wish more bands made music like this nowadays. It's not on YouTube, but here is the embed for the LP the song is on (which is available on Bandcamp).
9. "Summer Nights" by Van Halen
I remember hanging out at a local park with a couple friends and a boombox at some point during a summer night in high school, and this song came on the radio (or maybe it was a CD), and it just seemed perfect -- because it's called "Summer Nights."
10. "Summertime Girls" by Y&T
This was the highest-charting song for the Bay Area's Y&T, and it's definitely more "commercial" than their normal harder rocking stuff, but then again, it was the mid '80s. The video is certainly one that would be frowned upon these days.
Honorable mention: "Last Days of Summer" by The Answer; "All Summer Long" by The Beach Boys; "Summer Mood" by Best Coast; "Summertime Blues" by Eddie Cochran; "Indian Summer" by The Doors; "Summertime Blues" by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts; "Summer Girls" by LFO
Monday, June 18, 2018
Midwestern Eavesdropping
Fortysomething male talking about an acquaintance: "He's a very good people person, although most people don't like him."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Happy Fat Daddy Wide Load Day
Since it's Father's Day, there's no better day of the year to honor mortally embarrassing dads. When you were younger, did you ever think, "Man, I really wish Dad would rap. No, you know what? That's not enough. I want him to write his own rap song and then make a homemade music video that focuses on the fact that he is morbidly obese." Since my dad has only been overweight for most of the time I have known him -- and not morbidly obese -- this was unfortunately only a pipe dream for me. Thankfully, though, there was someone out there with the vision and talent to make this happen. I present to you Fat Daddy Wide Load -- whose song appears to be a bit of a diss track aimed at Hammer, Heavy D, 2 Live Crew, and Sister Souljah. Based on the fact that he mentions Sister Souljah and Bill Clinton, this was apparently made at some point in 1992 or shortly thereafter. It's just a damn shame he's probably not alive to see his video get several tens of thousands of views on the internet.
So for all you fathers out there looking for a way to really make your kids proud, here is something to inspire you. (Thanks to DBH for sending the link to the video.) Happy Father's Day!
So for all you fathers out there looking for a way to really make your kids proud, here is something to inspire you. (Thanks to DBH for sending the link to the video.) Happy Father's Day!
Thursday, June 14, 2018
World Cup Team Fun Facts
The World Cup set to kick off -- literally and figuratively -- today when the host Russia takes on Saudi Arabia at 11 a.m. Eastern. With the USMNT failing to qualify, it may be a little more difficult for you to get interested in the World Cup -- even if the US, Canada, and Mexico just won the bid to host the 2026 World Cup.
However, I hope to change that -- your lack of enthusiasm about this year's World Cup, not the location of the 2026 World Cup. One of the ways to keep things interesting is to, well, keep things interesting. For instance, my family is having its own World Cup pool. I broke down each of the 8 groups by FIFA ranking, putting the top-ranked team in each group into one hat, the second-ranked in each group into another hat, and so on. Each of the five of us in the family drew a team from Hat 1, Hat 2, Hat 3, and Hat 4, and then we each got one other team from the remaining Hat 1/2 teams and one from the remaining Hat 3/4 teams. So, we each got six teams, with some draws clearly better than others:
Teams that don't make it out of the group stage get no points. Here are how the points work after that:
-For Hat 1 teams: 1 point for making it to Round of 16, 2 points for making it to the quarterfinals, 3 points for 4th place, 4 points for 3rd place, 5 points for runner up, and 6 points for winning it all
-For Hat 2 teams: 2 for Round of 16, 4 for quarterfinals, 5 for 4th place, 6 for 3rd place, 7 for runner up, 8 for winning it all
-For Hat 3 teams: 3 for Round of 16, 5 for quarterfinals, 7 for 4th place, 8 for 3rd place, 9 for runner up, 10 for winning it all
-For Hat 4 teams: 4 for Round of 16, 6 for quarterfinals, 9 for 4th place, 10 for 3rd place, 11 for runner up, 12 for winning it all
Whoever has the highest point total when it's over gets to choose where the family eats dinner -- but the kicker (soccer pun intended, motherfuckers!) is that he or she must choose a restaurant from his or her group of countries. I note that the two teams that were not chosen were Mexico and Japan, both of which would have been superb and popular choices for a winning dinner.
But if gambling on the possibility of Nigerian food in late July isn't your bag, here are some fun facts about each team to get you more acquainted with all 32 teams. FIFA rankings are as of June 7, 2018, and the number of World Cup appearances includes this year.
Group A
Egypt
Nickname: The Pharoahs
FIFA ranking: 45
Number of World Cup appearances: 3
Last World Cup and finish: 1990 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: None
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1934, 1990)
Fun fact: Along with Norway, Egypt holds the record for longest drought between World Cup appearances, going 56 years (1934-1990) between appearances. Mo Salah was not born the last time Egypt made the World Cup.
Russia
Nickname: The National Team
FIFA ranking: 70
Number of World Cup appearances: 4 (not including the USSR's appearances)
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2002 (vs. Tunisia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1994, 2002, 2014)
Fun fact: In Russia, World Cup plays you.
Saudi Arabia
Nickname: The Green One or The Green Falcons
FIFA ranking: 67
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1994 (vs. Morocco in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1994)
Fun fact: The Green Falcons have a rabid traveling fan club called Saudis Nuts.
Uruguay
Nickname: The Sky Blue
FIFA ranking: 14
Number of World Cup appearances: 13
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Italy in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1930, 1950)
Fun fact: Luis Suarez uses a specially made tooth sharpener, crafted by artisans in Montevideo out of diamonds, so that he is sure to break skin every time he sinks his teeth into an opponent.
Group B
Iran
Nickname: Team Melli, Persian Stars, The Iranian Lions, The Lions of Persia, Lion Hearts, Princes of Persia
FIFA ranking: 37
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1998 (vs. USA in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1978, 1998, 2006, 2014)
Fun fact: To even be considered to be a member of Team Melli, a player must own at least two Persian cats.
Morocco
Nickname: Atlas Lions
FIFA ranking: 41
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 1998 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1998 (vs. Scotland in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1986)
Fun fact: Before every home game, the team blares Crosby, Stills & Nash's "Marrakesh Express" in the stadium to pump up the crowd and the team -- and to send a message to its opponent.
Portugal
Nickname: The Navigators
FIFA ranking: 4
Number of World Cup appearances: 7
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Ghana in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Third Place (1966)
Fun fact: Christiano Ronaldo's teeth are made the tusks of the rare Portuguese white elephant.
Spain
Nickname: The Red Fury, The Fury, The Red
FIFA ranking: 10
Number of World Cup appearances: 14
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Australia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (2010)
Fun fact: Spain made the interesting decision to fire its coach two days before its first World Cup game this year, despite strong opposition from team members. We'll see if the "chaos and resentment" strategy pays off.
Group C
Australia
Nickname: Socceroos
FIFA ranking: 36
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Serbia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (2006)
Fun fact: There have been no assault rifle attacks by any member of the Socceroos since the 1996 ban went into effect.
Denmark
Nickname: Danish Dynamite
FIFA ranking: 12
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2010 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Cameroon in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1998)
Fun fact: Since 1989, the entire team has gathered in the locker room before each and every match -- no trainers, no staff, no press -- to watch The Little Mermaid.
France
Nickname: Les Bleus (The Blues)
FIFA ranking: 7
Number of World Cup appearances: 15
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Nigeria in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1998)
Fun fact: Les Bleus have been taking headbutting lessons from none other than French soccer legend Zinedene Zidane.
Peru
Nickname: The White and Red, The Incas
FIFA ranking: 11
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 1982 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1978 (vs. Iran in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1970)
Fun fact: Descending from the Andes, The Red and White have never won a match played below 13,000 feet above sea level.
Group D
Argentina
Nickname: The Albiceleste
FIFA ranking: 5
Number of World Cup appearances: 17
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (runner up)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Netherlands in semifinals)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1978, 1986)
Fun fact: Lionel Messi is good at kicking a soccer ball.
Croatia
Nickname: The Blazers
FIFA ranking: 20
Number of World Cup appearances: 5 (not counting 1930-1990, when it was part of Yugoslavia)
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Cameroon in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Third Place (1998)
Fun fact: Whenever any of the members of The Blazers visits Bloomington, Indiana, he is treated to a free entree at Janko's Little Zagreb with the purchase of an entree of equal or lesser value.
Iceland
Nickname: Our Boys
FIFA ranking: 22
Number of World Cup appearances: 1
Last World Cup and finish: None
Last win in World Cup play: N/A
Best finish in World Cup: N/A
Fun fact: Their nickname should be The Vikings. I don't know why their nickname isn't The Vikings.
Nigeria
Nickname: Super Eagles
FIFA ranking: 48
Number of World Cup appearances: 6
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1994, 1998, 2014)
Fun fact: The team is funded by The Minister of Finance, who sends out unsolicited fundraising emails to kind recipients around the world.
Group E
Brazil
Nickname: The Squad, Little Canary, The Green and Yellow
FIFA ranking: 2
Number of World Cup appearances: 21
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Fourth Place)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Colombia in the quarterfinals)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, 2002)
Fun fact: Brazil is the only country that has qualified for every World Cup.
Costa Rica
Nickname: Los Ticos
FIFA ranking: 23
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Greece in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (2014)
Fun fact: After Los Ticos' whimsical trip to the quarterfinals of the World Cup in 2014, they totally went zip lining.
Serbia
Nickname: The Eagles
FIFA ranking: 34
Number of World Cup appearances: 4 (counting appearances post-Yugoslavia as Federal Republic of Yugoslavia in 2002 and Serbia and Montenegro in 2006, but not as part of Yugoslavia from 1930-1990)
Last World Cup and finish: 2010 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Germany in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1998)
Fun fact: After every win, the team does a shot of Šljivovica. After every loss, the team does a shot of Šljivovica.
Switzerland
Nickname: Die Nati
FIFA ranking: 6
Number of World Cup appearances: 11
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Honduras in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1934, 1938, 1954)
Fun fact: They're neutral.
Group F
Germany
Nickname: Die Mannschaft
FIFA ranking: 1
Number of World Cup appearances: 19 (including West Germany from 1950 to 1990)
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (champions)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Argentina in final)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1954, 1974, 1990, 2014)
Fun fact: Forward André Schürrle is known as such as huge fan of the movie Airplane that a running joke among the German press during press conferences with Schürrle is to follow up one of his answers with "Schürrle, you can't be serious."
Mexico
Nickname: El Tri
FIFA ranking: 15
Number of World Cup appearances: 16
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Croatia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1970, 1986)
Fun fact: Mexico is like the Atlanta Braves of the 1990s-2000s. They always make it to the World Cup, but just can't seem to win the big one. Bad hombres, indeed.
South Korea
Nickname: Taegeuk Warriors
FIFA ranking: 57
Number of World Cup appearances: 10
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Greece in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Fourth Place (2002)
Fun fact: These guys think this whole North Korea denuclearization story is bullshit too.
Sweden
Nickname: The Blue-Yellow
FIFA ranking: 24
Number of World Cup appearances: 12
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2006 (vs. Paraguay in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Runner Up (1958)
Fun fact: Until 2009, the Blue-Yellow played in bikinis. Thanks, Obama.
Group G
Belgium
Nickname: The Red Devils
FIFA ranking: 3
Number of World Cup appearances: 13
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. USA in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Fourth Place (1986)
Fun fact: This year, Belgium has started using a new slogan for The Red Devils: "Heavy Beer, Waffles, Chocolate, Mussels, Van Damme, Frites, and Football: That's What Belgium Does."
England
Nickname: The Three Lions
FIFA ranking: 12
Number of World Cup appearances: 15
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Slovenia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1966)
Fun fact: After every slide tackle, members of the Three Lions are required to say "terribly sorry, old chap."
Panama
Nickname: Los Canaleros (The Canal Men)
FIFA ranking: 55
Number of World Cup appearances: 1
Last World Cup and finish: None
Last win in World Cup play: N/A
Best finish in World Cup: N/A
Fun fact: The team's favorite Van Halen song off of the 1984 album is "Top Jimmy."
Tunisia
Nickname: The Eagles of Carthage
FIFA ranking: 21
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1978 (vs. Mexico in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1978, 1998, 2002, 2006)
Fun fact: Not a single Eagle of Carthage is from Carthage. Hell, half of 'em haven't even been there. It's like they don't even have any respect for what happened in the Third Punic War.
Group H
Colombia
Nickname: Los Cafeteros (The Coffee Growers), The Tricolors
FIFA ranking: 16
Number of World Cup appearances: 6
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Uruguay in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (2014)
Fun fact: Los Cafeteros' best player, James Rodriguez, won the Golden Boot at the last World Cup. In Colombia, "James" is pronounced "hah-mess," and on the rare occasion when he makes a bad play or spills paint all over the field, the announcers say "What hah-mess!"
Japan
Nickname: Samurai Blue
FIFA ranking: 61
Number of World Cup appearances: 6
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Denmark in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (2002, 2010)
Fun fact: If they know they're going to lose, it's not uncommon for the Samurai Blue to call a time out and commit team-wide seppuku. This has historically made it very difficult for Japan to field a competitive team.
Poland
Nickname: The White and Reds
FIFA ranking: 8
Number of World Cup appearances: 8
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2006 (vs. Costa Rica in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Third Place (1974, 1982)
Fun fact: The White and Reds failed to qualify for the 2010 World Cup after a tragic accident on a submarine that, for some reason, had a screen door.
Senegal
Nickname: The Lions of Teranga
FIFA ranking: 27
Number of World Cup appearances: 1
Last World Cup and finish: 2002 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2002 (vs. Sweden in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (2002)
Fun fact: The Senegal women's national team is nicknamed the Senegals. Just kidding, of course. Women aren't allowed to play sports.
However, I hope to change that -- your lack of enthusiasm about this year's World Cup, not the location of the 2026 World Cup. One of the ways to keep things interesting is to, well, keep things interesting. For instance, my family is having its own World Cup pool. I broke down each of the 8 groups by FIFA ranking, putting the top-ranked team in each group into one hat, the second-ranked in each group into another hat, and so on. Each of the five of us in the family drew a team from Hat 1, Hat 2, Hat 3, and Hat 4, and then we each got one other team from the remaining Hat 1/2 teams and one from the remaining Hat 3/4 teams. So, we each got six teams, with some draws clearly better than others:
- Me: Uruguay, Colombia, Croatia, Sweden, Australia, Morocco
- Jester: Brazil, Portugal, Spain, Denmark, Saudi Arabia, Serbia
- Daughter: Germany, Poland, England, Iceland, Russia, South Korea
- Lollipop: Argentina, Belgium, Switzerland, Costa Rica, Iran, Panama
- Son: France, Egypt, Peru, Senegal, Tunisia, Nigeria
Teams that don't make it out of the group stage get no points. Here are how the points work after that:
-For Hat 1 teams: 1 point for making it to Round of 16, 2 points for making it to the quarterfinals, 3 points for 4th place, 4 points for 3rd place, 5 points for runner up, and 6 points for winning it all
-For Hat 2 teams: 2 for Round of 16, 4 for quarterfinals, 5 for 4th place, 6 for 3rd place, 7 for runner up, 8 for winning it all
-For Hat 3 teams: 3 for Round of 16, 5 for quarterfinals, 7 for 4th place, 8 for 3rd place, 9 for runner up, 10 for winning it all
-For Hat 4 teams: 4 for Round of 16, 6 for quarterfinals, 9 for 4th place, 10 for 3rd place, 11 for runner up, 12 for winning it all
Whoever has the highest point total when it's over gets to choose where the family eats dinner -- but the kicker (soccer pun intended, motherfuckers!) is that he or she must choose a restaurant from his or her group of countries. I note that the two teams that were not chosen were Mexico and Japan, both of which would have been superb and popular choices for a winning dinner.
But if gambling on the possibility of Nigerian food in late July isn't your bag, here are some fun facts about each team to get you more acquainted with all 32 teams. FIFA rankings are as of June 7, 2018, and the number of World Cup appearances includes this year.
Group A
Egypt
Nickname: The Pharoahs
FIFA ranking: 45
Number of World Cup appearances: 3
Last World Cup and finish: 1990 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: None
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1934, 1990)
Fun fact: Along with Norway, Egypt holds the record for longest drought between World Cup appearances, going 56 years (1934-1990) between appearances. Mo Salah was not born the last time Egypt made the World Cup.
Nickname: The National Team
FIFA ranking: 70
Number of World Cup appearances: 4 (not including the USSR's appearances)
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2002 (vs. Tunisia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1994, 2002, 2014)
Fun fact: In Russia, World Cup plays you.
Saudi Arabia
Nickname: The Green One or The Green Falcons
FIFA ranking: 67
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1994 (vs. Morocco in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1994)
Fun fact: The Green Falcons have a rabid traveling fan club called Saudis Nuts.
Uruguay
Nickname: The Sky Blue
FIFA ranking: 14
Number of World Cup appearances: 13
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Italy in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1930, 1950)
Fun fact: Luis Suarez uses a specially made tooth sharpener, crafted by artisans in Montevideo out of diamonds, so that he is sure to break skin every time he sinks his teeth into an opponent.
Group B
Iran
Nickname: Team Melli, Persian Stars, The Iranian Lions, The Lions of Persia, Lion Hearts, Princes of Persia
FIFA ranking: 37
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1998 (vs. USA in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1978, 1998, 2006, 2014)
Fun fact: To even be considered to be a member of Team Melli, a player must own at least two Persian cats.
Morocco
Nickname: Atlas Lions
FIFA ranking: 41
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 1998 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1998 (vs. Scotland in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1986)
Fun fact: Before every home game, the team blares Crosby, Stills & Nash's "Marrakesh Express" in the stadium to pump up the crowd and the team -- and to send a message to its opponent.
Portugal
Nickname: The Navigators
FIFA ranking: 4
Number of World Cup appearances: 7
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Ghana in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Third Place (1966)
Fun fact: Christiano Ronaldo's teeth are made the tusks of the rare Portuguese white elephant.
Spain
Nickname: The Red Fury, The Fury, The Red
FIFA ranking: 10
Number of World Cup appearances: 14
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Australia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (2010)
Fun fact: Spain made the interesting decision to fire its coach two days before its first World Cup game this year, despite strong opposition from team members. We'll see if the "chaos and resentment" strategy pays off.
Group C
Australia
Nickname: Socceroos
FIFA ranking: 36
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Serbia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (2006)
Fun fact: There have been no assault rifle attacks by any member of the Socceroos since the 1996 ban went into effect.
Denmark
Nickname: Danish Dynamite
FIFA ranking: 12
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2010 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Cameroon in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1998)
Fun fact: Since 1989, the entire team has gathered in the locker room before each and every match -- no trainers, no staff, no press -- to watch The Little Mermaid.
France
Nickname: Les Bleus (The Blues)
FIFA ranking: 7
Number of World Cup appearances: 15
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Nigeria in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1998)
Fun fact: Les Bleus have been taking headbutting lessons from none other than French soccer legend Zinedene Zidane.
Peru
Nickname: The White and Red, The Incas
FIFA ranking: 11
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 1982 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1978 (vs. Iran in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1970)
Fun fact: Descending from the Andes, The Red and White have never won a match played below 13,000 feet above sea level.
Group D
Argentina
Nickname: The Albiceleste
FIFA ranking: 5
Number of World Cup appearances: 17
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (runner up)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Netherlands in semifinals)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1978, 1986)
Fun fact: Lionel Messi is good at kicking a soccer ball.
Croatia
Nickname: The Blazers
FIFA ranking: 20
Number of World Cup appearances: 5 (not counting 1930-1990, when it was part of Yugoslavia)
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Cameroon in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Third Place (1998)
Fun fact: Whenever any of the members of The Blazers visits Bloomington, Indiana, he is treated to a free entree at Janko's Little Zagreb with the purchase of an entree of equal or lesser value.
Iceland
Nickname: Our Boys
FIFA ranking: 22
Number of World Cup appearances: 1
Last World Cup and finish: None
Last win in World Cup play: N/A
Best finish in World Cup: N/A
Fun fact: Their nickname should be The Vikings. I don't know why their nickname isn't The Vikings.
Nigeria
Nickname: Super Eagles
FIFA ranking: 48
Number of World Cup appearances: 6
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1994, 1998, 2014)
Fun fact: The team is funded by The Minister of Finance, who sends out unsolicited fundraising emails to kind recipients around the world.
Group E
Brazil
Nickname: The Squad, Little Canary, The Green and Yellow
FIFA ranking: 2
Number of World Cup appearances: 21
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Fourth Place)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Colombia in the quarterfinals)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, 2002)
Fun fact: Brazil is the only country that has qualified for every World Cup.
Costa Rica
Nickname: Los Ticos
FIFA ranking: 23
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Greece in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (2014)
Fun fact: After Los Ticos' whimsical trip to the quarterfinals of the World Cup in 2014, they totally went zip lining.
Serbia
Nickname: The Eagles
FIFA ranking: 34
Number of World Cup appearances: 4 (counting appearances post-Yugoslavia as Federal Republic of Yugoslavia in 2002 and Serbia and Montenegro in 2006, but not as part of Yugoslavia from 1930-1990)
Last World Cup and finish: 2010 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Germany in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (1998)
Fun fact: After every win, the team does a shot of Šljivovica. After every loss, the team does a shot of Šljivovica.
Switzerland
Nickname: Die Nati
FIFA ranking: 6
Number of World Cup appearances: 11
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Honduras in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1934, 1938, 1954)
Fun fact: They're neutral.
Group F
Germany
Nickname: Die Mannschaft
FIFA ranking: 1
Number of World Cup appearances: 19 (including West Germany from 1950 to 1990)
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (champions)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Argentina in final)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1954, 1974, 1990, 2014)
Fun fact: Forward André Schürrle is known as such as huge fan of the movie Airplane that a running joke among the German press during press conferences with Schürrle is to follow up one of his answers with "Schürrle, you can't be serious."
Mexico
Nickname: El Tri
FIFA ranking: 15
Number of World Cup appearances: 16
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Croatia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (1970, 1986)
Fun fact: Mexico is like the Atlanta Braves of the 1990s-2000s. They always make it to the World Cup, but just can't seem to win the big one. Bad hombres, indeed.
South Korea
Nickname: Taegeuk Warriors
FIFA ranking: 57
Number of World Cup appearances: 10
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Greece in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Fourth Place (2002)
Fun fact: These guys think this whole North Korea denuclearization story is bullshit too.
Sweden
Nickname: The Blue-Yellow
FIFA ranking: 24
Number of World Cup appearances: 12
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Round of 16)
Last win in World Cup play: 2006 (vs. Paraguay in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Runner Up (1958)
Fun fact: Until 2009, the Blue-Yellow played in bikinis. Thanks, Obama.
Group G
Belgium
Nickname: The Red Devils
FIFA ranking: 3
Number of World Cup appearances: 13
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. USA in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Fourth Place (1986)
Fun fact: This year, Belgium has started using a new slogan for The Red Devils: "Heavy Beer, Waffles, Chocolate, Mussels, Van Damme, Frites, and Football: That's What Belgium Does."
England
Nickname: The Three Lions
FIFA ranking: 12
Number of World Cup appearances: 15
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Slovenia in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Champions (1966)
Fun fact: After every slide tackle, members of the Three Lions are required to say "terribly sorry, old chap."
Panama
Nickname: Los Canaleros (The Canal Men)
FIFA ranking: 55
Number of World Cup appearances: 1
Last World Cup and finish: None
Last win in World Cup play: N/A
Best finish in World Cup: N/A
Fun fact: The team's favorite Van Halen song off of the 1984 album is "Top Jimmy."
Tunisia
Nickname: The Eagles of Carthage
FIFA ranking: 21
Number of World Cup appearances: 5
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 1978 (vs. Mexico in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Group Stage (1978, 1998, 2002, 2006)
Fun fact: Not a single Eagle of Carthage is from Carthage. Hell, half of 'em haven't even been there. It's like they don't even have any respect for what happened in the Third Punic War.
Group H
Colombia
Nickname: Los Cafeteros (The Coffee Growers), The Tricolors
FIFA ranking: 16
Number of World Cup appearances: 6
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2014 (vs. Uruguay in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (2014)
Fun fact: Los Cafeteros' best player, James Rodriguez, won the Golden Boot at the last World Cup. In Colombia, "James" is pronounced "hah-mess," and on the rare occasion when he makes a bad play or spills paint all over the field, the announcers say "What hah-mess!"
Japan
Nickname: Samurai Blue
FIFA ranking: 61
Number of World Cup appearances: 6
Last World Cup and finish: 2014 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2010 (vs. Denmark in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Round of 16 (2002, 2010)
Fun fact: If they know they're going to lose, it's not uncommon for the Samurai Blue to call a time out and commit team-wide seppuku. This has historically made it very difficult for Japan to field a competitive team.
Poland
Nickname: The White and Reds
FIFA ranking: 8
Number of World Cup appearances: 8
Last World Cup and finish: 2006 (Group Stage)
Last win in World Cup play: 2006 (vs. Costa Rica in group play)
Best finish in World Cup: Third Place (1974, 1982)
Fun fact: The White and Reds failed to qualify for the 2010 World Cup after a tragic accident on a submarine that, for some reason, had a screen door.
Senegal
Nickname: The Lions of Teranga
FIFA ranking: 27
Number of World Cup appearances: 1
Last World Cup and finish: 2002 (Quarterfinals)
Last win in World Cup play: 2002 (vs. Sweden in Round of 16)
Best finish in World Cup: Quarterfinals (2002)
Fun fact: The Senegal women's national team is nicknamed the Senegals. Just kidding, of course. Women aren't allowed to play sports.
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Love Struck Baby" by Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble
Today is the 35th anniversary of the release of the debut album from Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble, Texas Flood. Vaughan had made a national name for himself the year before when then band played a blistering set at the Montreux Jazz Festival, which prompted David Bowie to hire Vaughan to play on six songs on Bowie's Let's Dance album (also released in 1983).
Texas Flood is a classic blues rock album, with a great combination of blues covers and originals, showcasing Vaughan's fantastic guitar-playing ability. The title track -- a cover of a Larry Davis song -- is my favorite song by the band, and songs like "Pride and Joy," "Mary Had a Little Lamb," "Love Struck Baby," and "Rude Mood" helped give the album airplay and several Grammy nominations. Texas Flood achieved double platinum status in the U.S., beginning a string of seven platinum albums in a row for the band. Of course, Vaughan met his untimely death at age 35, in an August 1990 helicopter accident while leaving a show at Alpine Valley in East Troy, Wisconsin.
I'm going with "Love Struck Baby" because it's the only song off of the album that had a video. So there you go.
Texas Flood is a classic blues rock album, with a great combination of blues covers and originals, showcasing Vaughan's fantastic guitar-playing ability. The title track -- a cover of a Larry Davis song -- is my favorite song by the band, and songs like "Pride and Joy," "Mary Had a Little Lamb," "Love Struck Baby," and "Rude Mood" helped give the album airplay and several Grammy nominations. Texas Flood achieved double platinum status in the U.S., beginning a string of seven platinum albums in a row for the band. Of course, Vaughan met his untimely death at age 35, in an August 1990 helicopter accident while leaving a show at Alpine Valley in East Troy, Wisconsin.
I'm going with "Love Struck Baby" because it's the only song off of the album that had a video. So there you go.
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Tuesday Top Ten: Major Sports Droughts Before First Championship
The last several years have been good for long-suffering pro sports fan bases, with the likes of the Cubs, Cavaliers, Astros, Eagles, Royals, and Warriors ending droughts of 30+ years without championships. We can now add the Washington Capitals to that list. Last Thursday, Alex Ovechkin and Co. ended their franchise's 43-year Cup-less history, beating the Vegas Golden Knights 4-3 in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals to win the series 4-1. Only four franchises in the NHL have had longer droughts before winning their first Stanley Cup (and three of those still haven't won one).
As I did two years ago after the Cavaliers won their first NBA title, I'm going to take a look at the longest first-championship droughts in each of the four major sports leagues –- that is, the longest it has taken a franchise to win its first title since joining its league. Here are a couple caveats and clarifications:
- I'm not counting AFL, ABA, or WHA championships.
- I'll be starting a former ABA and WHA team's clock from the year it began playing in the NBA and NHL, respectively.
- For former AFL teams, I'll be starting from the first Super Bowl season (1966-1967), even though the NFL and AFL didn't merge for another few years.
- For the NBA, NFL, and NHL, I'm counting the year the season ended as the season, so for instance, Super Bowl XX was played after the 1985 season, but it was played in 1986, so that counts as 1986.
- For MLB, I am counting 1903 as the first year possible, since that was the year the first World Series was played.
- For the NHL, I am counting 1927 as the first year possible, since that was the year of the first official NHL playoffs and the year Lord Stanley's Cup became a permanent fixture in the NHL, although that really didn't come into play, since the Original Six all won titles pretty soon after 1927.
- Since the NBA, NFL, and NHL seasons have ended this year, I've added another year to any current droughts, since obviously a team that hasn't won the title this year cannot win one until 2019.
Ten Longest Current Droughts
1. 58 years
-Minnesota Vikings, NFL (1961-present)
-Minnesota Vikings, NFL (1961-present)
2. 57 years
-Texas Rangers/Washington Senators, MLB (1961-present)
3 (tie). 52 years
-Atlanta Falcons, NFL (1967-present)
-Buffalo Bills, NFL (1967-present)
-San Diego Chargers, NFL (1967-present)
-Tennessee Titans/Houston Oilers, NFL (1967-present)
7. 51 years
-St. Louis Blues, NHL (1968-present)
-Texas Rangers/Washington Senators, MLB (1961-present)
3 (tie). 52 years
-Atlanta Falcons, NFL (1967-present)
-Buffalo Bills, NFL (1967-present)
-San Diego Chargers, NFL (1967-present)
-Tennessee Titans/Houston Oilers, NFL (1967-present)
7. 51 years
-St. Louis Blues, NHL (1968-present)
8 (tie). 50 years
-Cincinnati Bengals, NFL (1969-present);
-Phoenix Suns, NBA (1969-present)
10 (tie). 49 years
-Milwaukee Brewers/Seattle Pilots, MLB (1969-present)
-San Diego Padres, MLB (1969-present)
-Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos, MLB (1969-present)
-Cincinnati Bengals, NFL (1969-present);
-Phoenix Suns, NBA (1969-present)
10 (tie). 49 years
-Milwaukee Brewers/Seattle Pilots, MLB (1969-present)
-San Diego Padres, MLB (1969-present)
-Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos, MLB (1969-present)
Ten Longest All-Time Droughts for Franchises That Won a Championship
1. 77 years
-Philadelphia Phillies, MLB (1903-1980)
-Philadelphia Phillies, MLB (1903-1980)
2. 63 years
-Baltimore Orioles/St. Louis Browns, MLB (1903-1966)
-Baltimore Orioles/St. Louis Browns, MLB (1903-1966)
3. 55 years
-Houston Astros/Houston Colt, MLB .45s (1962-2017)
-Houston Astros/Houston Colt, MLB .45s (1962-2017)
4. 52 years
-Los Angeles Dodgers/Brooklyn Dodgers/Brooklyn Robins/Brooklyn Superbas, MLB (1903-1955)
5. 49 years-Los Angeles Dodgers/Brooklyn Dodgers/Brooklyn Robins/Brooklyn Superbas, MLB (1903-1955)
-Detroit Pistons/Ft. Wayne Pistons, NBA (1950-1989)
6. 45 years
-Cleveland Cavaliers, NBA (1971-2016)
7. 44 years
-Los Angeles Kings, NHL (1968-2012)
-Los Angeles Kings, NHL (1968-2012)
8. 43 years
-Washington Capitals, NHL (1975-2018)
9 (tie). 42 years
-Pittsburgh Steelers/Pittsburgh Pirates, NFL (1933-1975)
-New Orleans Saints, NFL (1968-2010)
-Washington Capitals, NHL (1975-2018)
9 (tie). 42 years
-Pittsburgh Steelers/Pittsburgh Pirates, NFL (1933-1975)
-New Orleans Saints, NFL (1968-2010)
MLB Overall
1. 77 years: Philadelphia Phillies (1903-1980)
2. 63 years: Baltimore Orioles/St. Louis Browns (1903-1966)
3. 57 years: Texas Rangers/Washington Senators (1961-present)
4. 55 years: Houston Astros/Houston Colt .45s (1962-2017)
5. 52 years: Los Angeles Dodgers/Brooklyn Dodgers/Brooklyn Robins/Brooklyn Superbas (1903-1955)
6 (tie). 49 years: San Diego Padres (1969-present); Milwaukee Brewers/Seattle Pilots (1969-present); Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos (1969-present)
9 (tie). 41 years: Los Angeles Angels/Anaheim Angels/California Angels (1961-2002); Seattle Mariners (1977-present)
NBA Overall
1. 50 years: Phoenix Suns (1969-present)
2. 49 years: Detroit Pistons/Ft. Wayne Pistons (1950-1989)
2. 49 years: Detroit Pistons/Ft. Wayne Pistons (1950-1989)
3. 48 years: Los Angeles Clippers/San Diego Clippers/Boston Braves (1971-present)
4. 45 years: Cleveland Cavaliers (1971-2016)
5. 44 years: Utah Jazz/New Orleans Jazz (1975-present)
6 (tie). 41 years: Brooklyn Nets/New Jersey Nets/New York Nets (1977-present)*; Denver Nuggets (1977-present); Indiana Pacers (1977-present)**
9. 30 years: Dallas Mavericks (1981-2011)
10 (tie). 29 years: Minnesota Timberwolves (1990-present); Orlando Magic (1990-present)
*The Nets won ABA titles in 1974 and 1976 prior to joining the NBA
**The Pacers won ABA titles in 1970, 1972, and 1973 prior to joining the NBA
NFL Overall
1. 58 years: Minnesota Vikings (1961-present)
2 (tie). 52 years: Atlanta Falcons (1967-present); Buffalo Bills (1967-present)*; San Diego Chargers (1967-present)**; Tennessee Titans/Houston Oilers (1967-present)***
6. 50 years: Cincinnati Bengals (1969-present)
7 (tie). 42 years: Pittsburgh Steelers/Pittsburgh Pirates (1933-1975); New Orleans Saints 1968-2010)
9. 37 years: Seattle Seahawks (1977-2014)
10. 36 years: San Francisco 49ers (1946-1982)
*The Bills won AFL titles in 1964 and 1965 prior to joining the NFL
**The Chargers won the AFL title in 1963 prior to joining the NFL
***The Oilers won AFL titles in 1960 and 1961 prior to joining the NFL
NHL Overall
1. 51 years: St. Louis Blues (1968-present)
2 (tie). 48 years: Buffalo Sabres (1971-present); Vancouver Canucks (1971-present)
4. 44 years: Los Angeles Kings (1968-2012)
5. 43 years: Washington Capitals (1975-2018)
6. 39 years: Arizona Coyotes/Phoenix Coyotes/Winnipeg Jets (1980-present)*
7. 31 years: Dallas Stars/Minnesota North Stars (1968-1999)
8. 27 years: San Jose Sharks (1992-present)
9 (tie). 26 years: Carolina Hurricanes/Hartford Whalers (1980-2006)**; Ottawa Senators (1993-present)
9 (tie). 26 years: Carolina Hurricanes/Hartford Whalers (1980-2006)**; Ottawa Senators (1993-present)
*The Jets won WHA titles in 1976, 1978, and 1979 prior to joining the NHL
**The Whalers won a WHA title in 1973 prior to joining the NHL
Thursday, June 07, 2018
Midwestern Eavesdropping
Thirtysomething guy to his friend: "Not that I'm looking at your dick, but there's a spider on your dick."
--Lake Beulah, WI
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Millennial male on sidewalk in front of office building: "Don't half ass things. Full ass them."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
--Lake Beulah, WI
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Millennial male on sidewalk in front of office building: "Don't half ass things. Full ass them."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
Wednesday, June 06, 2018
Retro Video of the Week: "Sister Havana" by Urge Overkill
Friday marks the 25th anniversary of the release of Chicago-based Urge Overkill's fourth studio album, Saturation. The band is best known for two songs -- one being their cover of Neil Diamond's "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" that appeared on the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, and the other being the first track off of Saturation, "Sister Havana." "Sister Havana" is a great alt-rock/grunge song, and it was arguably the band's biggest hit, reaching #6 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart and #10 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock chart. Now, I'd like you to watch the video.
Tuesday, June 05, 2018
Tuesday Top Ten: Teams With Four Championship Appearances in a Row
I feel like this is getting redundant. The Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers are meeting in the NBA finals for the fourth year in a row. As far as I can tell -- based on my slapdash Wikipedia research -- this is the first time in the history of the four major North American sports leagues that the same two teams have played in the championship series or game four years in a row.
Since it's called Tuesday Top Ten and not Tuesday Top One, I had to expand my search to teams that have played in their league's championship game or series at least four years in a row. The Warriors and Cavs are the 12th and 13th franchises in the four major sports leagues to have gone to a championship game or series four years in a row. Some franchises have done it multiple times.
In addition to the current four sports leagues, I looked at the ABA, AAFC, AFL, and WHA, since many of the teams in those leagues merged into or joined current leagues at various points in time. One thing to note is that the NFL did not have a championship game until 1933. Here are the teams that have done it. I'm going from the most down to the least, and I'll include the team names (obviously), league, years, and how many titles each team won during the span:
1 (tie). 10 years in a row
-Cleveland Browns (AAFC/NFL), 1946-1955 (7-3)*
-Montreal Canadiens (NHL), 1951-1960 (6-4)
-Boston Celtics (NBA), 1957-1966 (9-1)
3 (tie). 5 years in a row
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1949-1953 (5-0)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1960-1964 (2-3)
-Montreal Canadiens (NHL), 1965-1969 (4-1)
-New York Islanders (NHL), 1980-1984 (4-1)
8 (tie). 4 years in a row
-New York Giants (MLB), 1921-1924 (2-2)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1936-1939 (4-0)
-Chicago Bears (NFL), 1940-1943 (3-1)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1955-1958 (2-2)
*The Browns won the AAFC Championship Game in 1946 through 1949, and then the Browns joined the NFL and went to the NFL Championship Game for six years in a row.
**Obviously, the NBA Finals are still being played, so the Warriors and Cavs haven't yet completed their fourth championship series in a row quite yet.
Since it's called Tuesday Top Ten and not Tuesday Top One, I had to expand my search to teams that have played in their league's championship game or series at least four years in a row. The Warriors and Cavs are the 12th and 13th franchises in the four major sports leagues to have gone to a championship game or series four years in a row. Some franchises have done it multiple times.
In addition to the current four sports leagues, I looked at the ABA, AAFC, AFL, and WHA, since many of the teams in those leagues merged into or joined current leagues at various points in time. One thing to note is that the NFL did not have a championship game until 1933. Here are the teams that have done it. I'm going from the most down to the least, and I'll include the team names (obviously), league, years, and how many titles each team won during the span:
1 (tie). 10 years in a row
-Cleveland Browns (AAFC/NFL), 1946-1955 (7-3)*
-Montreal Canadiens (NHL), 1951-1960 (6-4)
-Boston Celtics (NBA), 1957-1966 (9-1)
3 (tie). 5 years in a row
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1949-1953 (5-0)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1960-1964 (2-3)
-Montreal Canadiens (NHL), 1965-1969 (4-1)
-New York Islanders (NHL), 1980-1984 (4-1)
8 (tie). 4 years in a row
-New York Giants (MLB), 1921-1924 (2-2)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1936-1939 (4-0)
-Chicago Bears (NFL), 1940-1943 (3-1)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1955-1958 (2-2)
-Montreal Canadiens (NHL), 1976-1979 (4-0)
-Winnipeg Jets (WHA), 1976-1979 (3-1)
-Los Angeles Lakers (NBA), 1982-1985 (2-2)
-Boston Celtics (NBA), 1984-1987 (2-2)
-Buffalo Bills (NFL), 1991-1994 (0-4)
-New York Yankees (MLB), 1998-2001 (3-1)
-Miami Heat (NBA), 2011-2014 (2-2)
-Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA), 2015-2018 (1-2)**
-Golden State Warriors (NBA), 2015-2018 (2-1)**
-Golden State Warriors (NBA), 2015-2018 (2-1)**
*The Browns won the AAFC Championship Game in 1946 through 1949, and then the Browns joined the NFL and went to the NFL Championship Game for six years in a row.
**Obviously, the NBA Finals are still being played, so the Warriors and Cavs haven't yet completed their fourth championship series in a row quite yet.
Friday, June 01, 2018
Hair Band Friday - 6/1/18
1. "Fallen Angel" by Poison
2. "Bed of Roses" by Warrant
3. "The Angel Song" by Great White
4. "Heaven's Trail (No Way Out)" by Tesla
5. "Happy Trails" by Van Halen
6. "Blood Pollution" by Steel Dragon
7. "Ring of Fire" by Def Leppard
8. "Party All Night" by Quiet Riot
9. "What's It Gonna Be" by Ratt
10. "Don't Cry" by Guns N' Roses
2. "Bed of Roses" by Warrant
3. "The Angel Song" by Great White
4. "Heaven's Trail (No Way Out)" by Tesla
5. "Happy Trails" by Van Halen
6. "Blood Pollution" by Steel Dragon
7. "Ring of Fire" by Def Leppard
8. "Party All Night" by Quiet Riot
9. "What's It Gonna Be" by Ratt
10. "Don't Cry" by Guns N' Roses
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