Thirtysomething guy to his friend: "Not that I'm looking at your dick, but there's a spider on your dick."
--Lake Beulah, WI
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Millennial male on sidewalk in front of office building: "Don't half ass things. Full ass them."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
As always, if you overhear something funny or ridiculous (or that can be taken completely out of context), email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, along with the location you heard it and your preferred eavesdropping handle, for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
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