Hi guys. Before you read this post, I just want to say that I love you and I am in fact still in love with you. Nonetheless, it's not you, it's me.
As many of you don't know, I started writing a book last summer. I have about 240 pages written, but I'm not making the progress I'd like to be making. A few days ago, I had an epiphany: just a little basil would really spice up that chicken. I also realized that I needed to devote more time to this monstrosity if I ever want to free myself from the restraints that come with being a low-profile litigator. Thus, I will be cutting back on GMYH while I devote time that was used for blogging to finishing the book.
In all likelihood, the book will never see the ink of a printing press, but I'll damned -- damned I tell you -- if one day when I'm 40 I'm looking at myself in the mirror thinking to myself, "You asshole. You know you wouldn't be sitting here blogging had you finished that book you were working on. It was brilliant. Despite what Jessie said, you did have the ability to write it and maybe even get it published, or at least self-published on Mike and Kate's 1900-pound antique printing press. By the way, you look horrible."
And please don't ask me what the book is about. I will give you this much: it's autobiographical, and it's horrifying. That's all you need to know at this point.
Before you start freaking out about what you're going to read on the internet while you're supposed to be working, I want to stress that we're not breaking up -- just going "on a break." This gives me a chance to see what other things I can write and gives you a chance to see what other blogs are out there. We'll still see each other now and then, and our encounters will be perverse and passionate trysts, designed specifically to keep you wanting more and to get my rocks off.
I will still be posting now and then when I have a bone to pick with the world or when something funny happens or when people's bathroom habits merit discussion (which, as we know, is more often than expected). And I will still be doing Midwestern Eavesdropping, so keep those ears open. And I'll have a new poll every week to maintain the level of integrity and thought-provocation you've come to expect from Give Me Your Handrew.
It's fitting that this announcement comes on the 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. You know, he and I had a lot in common: both white; they way we have shaken our hips has at one point been considered both obscene and orgasm-inducing; 1977 was a pivotal year for both of us; both of us are thought of as the "King" of our respective professions (him, rock and roll, and me, aggrandizing myself). Now we'll both share August 16 as a day of bitter endings -- his a bit more permanent than mine.
As many of you don't know, I started writing a book last summer. I have about 240 pages written, but I'm not making the progress I'd like to be making. A few days ago, I had an epiphany: just a little basil would really spice up that chicken. I also realized that I needed to devote more time to this monstrosity if I ever want to free myself from the restraints that come with being a low-profile litigator. Thus, I will be cutting back on GMYH while I devote time that was used for blogging to finishing the book.
In all likelihood, the book will never see the ink of a printing press, but I'll damned -- damned I tell you -- if one day when I'm 40 I'm looking at myself in the mirror thinking to myself, "You asshole. You know you wouldn't be sitting here blogging had you finished that book you were working on. It was brilliant. Despite what Jessie said, you did have the ability to write it and maybe even get it published, or at least self-published on Mike and Kate's 1900-pound antique printing press. By the way, you look horrible."
And please don't ask me what the book is about. I will give you this much: it's autobiographical, and it's horrifying. That's all you need to know at this point.
Before you start freaking out about what you're going to read on the internet while you're supposed to be working, I want to stress that we're not breaking up -- just going "on a break." This gives me a chance to see what other things I can write and gives you a chance to see what other blogs are out there. We'll still see each other now and then, and our encounters will be perverse and passionate trysts, designed specifically to keep you wanting more and to get my rocks off.
I will still be posting now and then when I have a bone to pick with the world or when something funny happens or when people's bathroom habits merit discussion (which, as we know, is more often than expected). And I will still be doing Midwestern Eavesdropping, so keep those ears open. And I'll have a new poll every week to maintain the level of integrity and thought-provocation you've come to expect from Give Me Your Handrew.
It's fitting that this announcement comes on the 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. You know, he and I had a lot in common: both white; they way we have shaken our hips has at one point been considered both obscene and orgasm-inducing; 1977 was a pivotal year for both of us; both of us are thought of as the "King" of our respective professions (him, rock and roll, and me, aggrandizing myself). Now we'll both share August 16 as a day of bitter endings -- his a bit more permanent than mine.
Finally, I know what you're thinking: "What about the rapings? Sweet Jesus, GMYH, what about the rapings?!" Dearest reader, you have nothing to fear: the rapings have not -- and will not -- cease. It'll take more than signs alone to stop FBI Agent Chris Saviano.
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