Stephon Marbury Hates Living Dogs

I know I said I was cutting back on GMYH, but when shit like this presents itself, it's hard not to comment. New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury for some reason felt the need to opine on Michael Vick's dog fighting charges "while promoting his basketball shoe in Albany, N.Y." This makes sense, since nothing gets me thinking about why dogs should be electrocuted like a good shoe publicity event.

Apparently that one year at Georgia Tech didn't include a class on thinking before you speak. Here's what Marbury told an Albany news station: "I think, you know, we don't say anything about people who shoot deer or shoot other animals. You know, from what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors."

From what you hear? Who the fuck are you talking to? Michael Vick's cousins? In most "sports" the losing contestant's head isn't slammed into concrete until it dies. If that was the case, you would have been killed 157 times over the past three seasons.

And there's a reason it's behind closed doors: BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL, YOU FUCKING MORON. Plus, people generally don't like getting splattered with dogs' blood in public.

And we (by "we," I mean people who don't run dog fighting rings) do say things about people who shoot deer and other animals. Turns out there are hunting laws that regulate what kinds of animals you can kill (i.e., you're not allowed to shoot pandas, spotted white owls, or humans), as well as when and where you can kill them. Maybe it's different in New York or Virginia, but here in Illinois, we don't have a dog season. And last I checked, Vick wasn't making jerky out of the dead dogs, or using their pelts to make a nice, warm blanket, or even grinding their bones into powder for goofer dust. Hoodoo aside, for the most part, there are rules against murdering animals.

Marbury also said, "I just think that he fell into a bad situation." That tends to happen when you start dabbling with rape stands, injecting dogs with stimulants to make them better at killing other dogs, and ordering the systematic execution of dozens of dogs. You know what he could have done? He could have said, "Hey cuz, could you be a lamb and not do things on my property that jeopardize my NFL career? Oh, and while you're at it, can you remove that pile of dog carcasses?"