Monday, February 22, 2010

Shit I Hate: People Who Drive Range Rovers

What this picture fails to show is the pedestrian jumping out of the way as the driver honks and throws his arms up, even though the light's red.

Is there any vehicle that screams "I'm a self-important asshole" louder than a Range Rover? In a world full of cars that instill an unearned sense of self-entitlement, the Range Rover is king. Thankfully, I don't know anyone who drives a Range Rover, unless knowledge is somehow defined by being nearly plowed over as I cross the street after a Range Rover blows through a stop sign and the driver, without removing the cell phone from her ear, scowls at me for having the gall to be less affluent than her.

If you drive a Range Rover, here are some things you believe: (1) red octagons simply do not exist because you drive a Range Rover; (2) you are entitled to park anywhere -- in alleys, blocking sidewalks, on top of fire hydrants, in the middle of intersections -- without concern for silly city-imposed parking restrictions, and you are certainly entitled to complain to your housekeeper when you get a legally justified parking ticket; (3) you are entitled to drive in the middle of the road and honk when less-expensive vehicles impede your Range Rover's path; (4) tap water is intolerable; (5) that line between parking spots should actually run straight down the middle of your Range Rover; and (6) everything is an inconvenience. There are no exceptions to these rules.

22 comments:

Jason Collier said...

The Escalade also falls into this category. And yet somehow not the Mercedes G-Wagon. Or the Lexus LX.

Not so anonymous said...

I think people who drive new Jaguars are handsome, brilliant, hilarious bad-asses. Just ask them. They also like to kill people from Cincinnati in their sleep. Just sayin'.

Unknown said...

how ever wrote this obviously has some issues in his own life and/or i just extremely jealous of what he doesn't have and can't ever have!!! your the dumb fuck driving the beat up Volkswagen only wishing he had what people like i had and you know it!

Anonymous said...

Shit I hate: chicks named Ariana who have no command over grammar.

Liz said...

1)Look both ways before you cross the street.
2)People who drive Range Rovers usually are pretty important.....TRUE.
3)I quote "the Range Rover is king." Your are correct. The definition of king: "One who, or that which, holds a supreme position or rank; a chief among competitors....:)


Hello, I drive a Range Rover:)
And I was not the person why tried to run you over, but after hearing your judgmental bs.... wait...no...I wouldn't....:)

If you drive a Range Rover, here are some things you believe: (1)
gmyh is uneducated (2)If you don't have a housekeeper, you wish you did (3)Your horn sounds better than everyone else's (4) tap water has fluoride, which is good for you teeth :D (5) you are attractive or have a high level of sex appeal; and (6) Everything in your life is very simple if morons like gymh would stop hatin' ....:)
There are no exceptions to these rules.

Anonymous said...

Range Rovers are exclusively driven by Volvo drivers in hiding.

Wankers

Anonymous said...

Your a cunt and nobody will care when you suffer and die.

Unknown said...

the radiator grilles come pre-installed with the teeth of dead children, it helps with the guilt of ownership, as the driver does not know which teeth were already there, and which are the result of the carnage they caused that day.

Anonymous said...

whenever people in range rovers are criticized they say that poeple are jealous, which isn't true, lets be honest they're not exactly ferraris in regards to cost! Just because range rover drivers get jealous over material objects dont mean most people do. Its a personality thing, and the sort of people that feel the need for a bigger shinier box usually have a pretty pathetic personality, hence the attitude on the road

Anonymous said...

Man there a lot of Range Rovers on the road in Chicago these days. Some people must be doing well. I like to slow down and stop at yellow lights if there is a RR behind me. I also never let a RR come out of a parking space or a alley. And for that chick that said some people could never own a RR, you are wrong and you probably lease one at about $900/month.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha arianna is a moron.....when u drive a range your just the asshole in the range

Anonymous said...

90% of range rovers i see in south florida are driven by assholes. They go 20+ over the speed limit (that's a mandatory speeding ticket btw), tailgate when other lanes are open, drive aggressively and fly by everyone for no apparent reason other than being a douche. funniest part is they arent getting anywhere faster, i drive up to every red light and they are right there. They are just blowing their gas to rush to the next red light faster than the rest of the traffic.

Anonymous said...

Indeed many Range Rover drivers are insolent pricks, although the cheap, lowly, Prius has a devoted following of some of the worst drivers that I encounter on the road. BMW drivers range extremely high on the prickometer.

Unknown said...

You're pathetic.

Unknown said...

Wow some sick people on here...its just a car...Expensive when new, but after a couple of years is with in any-ones grasp for ownership...

These are a very British Icon....Who would not want to own a Range Rover.

Unknown said...

Mercedes-Benz driver here. I see the hate is strong in gmyh.

Range drivers...I feel your pain. Btw. Where do you find good house keepers.

Unknown said...

I agree with Jordan. I have a rover and I'm not a prick. I bought it because I like how comfortable it is, it's off-road prowess, and how powerful it is. I love the way they look. I'm not a douche. I just love rovers.

Anonymous said...

I own an 03 HSE. Love it,bought used I'm a regular guy just happen to like these trucks.

Unknown said...

I'm a lady Range Rover driver, 33 with long blonde hair (obvious hate target!) always aware that everyone hates RR drivers.Always overly polite to other drivers and pedestrians to prove the point I'm not a self righteous git ! Why do I have to be so OTT about this ? Never had to be so aware in my old car.... a mini haha ! Also always stick to speed limits! (No points or accidents (fingers crossed) in my 15 years of driving)

Unknown said...

Accidentally scratched a car door of a land Rover. I immediately apologized and offered my information. Her exact words, "Do you realize how much this is going to cost?" "This is a land Rover!' Over a grand for a scratch on a door? My response, "Um ok just get an estimate and I will pay it." "She gets more and more amped up sneering at me saying how could I possibly afford to fix her land Rover and calls the police. The police come, I am polite as can be and he even says that it is a waste of time to write this up. Lady freaks out and continues talking down to me and treating me like dirt. My annual income is over 200K. I am just not a flashy dresser and I drive a nice , but not ridiculously fancy suv. Newsflash people just because you have a fancy car does not mean you gain the right to treat others like shit.

Blue Heron said...

My shpiel:

https://www.blueheronblast.com/2019/08/rover-schmuck.html

Anonymous said...

people who drive Mercedes G wagon are friends with those who drive Range Rover.Same category