-Top Ten Pre-1960s Social Distancing Songs
-Top Ten '60s Social Distancing Songs
-Top Ten '70s Social Distancing Songs
We are at the halfway point of our weekly look at COVID-19-appropriate songs from each of the past seven decades. And is there a more romanticized decade than the '80s? Sure, it was full of consumerism, superficiality, and materialism, but as someone who went from a toddler to twelve during the decade, I can say that it was a totally radical time to be a kid. MTV, the golden age of sitcoms, the emergence of neon and fluorescent colors as acceptable fashion choices, John Hughes movies, personal computers, home video game systems, people coming together to support national and global causes (Live Aid, USA for Africa, Farm Aid, Hands Across America, etc.), and so much hair spray. It truly was a decade of decadence. Maybe every decade seems like this for those growing up, but growing up in the '80s, it truly seemed like you could do anything and achieve success however you might want to do so -- well, until the stock market crash in October 1987, but even after that, we had a couple good years until AIDS and grunge ruined fun for everyone.
Music from the '80s was awesome. I've said several times before that I think the '80s was the height of pop music, but there was so much more going on in music than just fantastic pop, from the emergence of rap and hip hop to hair bands to goth to thrash metal to heartland rock to post-punk and new wave to AOR to funk to "college rock" and alternative music to the beginnings of new jack swing, and so much more. What I always look back fondly on is that, when I used to listen to Z-95 -- the Top 40 station in Chicago for much of the '80s -- you could hear music from pretty much any genre because, as long as it was popular or requested enough, it would get played on the radio. So I might hear Def Leppard followed by Debbie Gibson followed by Terence Trent D'Arby followed by Faith No More followed by Tone Loc followed by Bruce Springsteen followed by Whitney Houston followed by R.E.M. I credit that format to the fact that I enjoy a lot of different styles of music that I might not otherwise have been exposed to had Z-95 not existed or had I grown up in the '90s, when radio was more compartmentalized, with stations that focused more on certain types of music -- "alternative rock" stations, "dance" and pop Top 40 stations, hard rock and classic rock stations, R&B and hip hop stations, and the like.
But enough with the history lesson. Let's get to the tunes. Here are my top ten '80s songs that relate to social distancing, COVID-19, and what we are all going through, in alphabetical order by artist. There are a lot of great songs that fit the bill, crossing many genres. As always, I tried to go with songs that best fit the theme, and not necessarily my favorite songs or the "best" songs. There may be songs that I have already featured in a COVID-19-themed Retro Video of the Week. And as always, only one song per artist. I gave you a bonus selection. If you can't handle that, like, gag yourself with a spoon.
1. "Social Disease" by Bon Jovi
The chorus on this track from Bon Jovi's 1987 mega album Slippery When Wet explains that "love is a social disease." That is especially true in these times, as COVID-19 is a very social disease. Good thing people in Lake of the Ozarks are having massive lake parties where people are shoulder to shoulder and sharing bottles of booze. I'm sure that won't result in a spike. Then again, as the song says, nothing a shot can't cure.
2. "So Far Away" by Dire Straits
Dire Straits's 1985 hit "So Far Away" perfectly captures the feelings of longing associated with social distancing and staying at home for months on end.
3. "Dancing with Myself" by Generation X/Billy Idol
Originally released in 1980 by Generation X -- whose lead singer was Billy Idol -- and then released a year later by Idol solo, it's allegedly a song about diddling oneself. Whether it's about that or just dancing with oneself, it's my favorite Billy Idol song, and it's certainly appropriate in these times when, if you're like me, you have been spending most of your days dancing like Buffalo Bill in front a mirror with your wang tucked between your legs.
4. "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson
This was a Retro Video of the Week last month, and it still holds true as a great social distancing song.4. "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson
5. "Hand to Mouth" by George Michael
One of the non-single tracks off of Michael's giant 1987 Faith album, "Hand to Mouth" should serve as a constant reminder that, after you touch a foreign surface, you should not touch your mouth unless you have washed your hands or used hand sanitizer.
6. "Corona" by Minutemen
You probably know this as the Jackass theme song, and I couldn't have a list of '80s songs that are appropriate during the Coronavirus without including "Corona."
7. "Stand Back" by Stevie Nicks
I find it's helpful to have this song on the ready on my phone whenever I go to a grocery store, so when some jackass creeps up on you in line, I can just hit "play," and blare the chorus. If that doesn't work, mace is also effective.
8. "Don't Come Around Here No More" by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
This crescendoing classic by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers is appropriate both for businesses and individuals to explain, in no uncertain terms, what a stay-at-home order means to those who may still be unclear.
9. "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police
This is another one that immediately came to mind when I first made a socially distancing playlist. Sure, it's a super creepy song about an inappropriate relationship between a student and teacher, but for our purposes, you can also blare this when encountering idiots who don't know how far six feet is. Or at least sing Sting's final repeating falsetto of "please don't stand so close to me."
9. "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police
This is another one that immediately came to mind when I first made a socially distancing playlist. Sure, it's a super creepy song about an inappropriate relationship between a student and teacher, but for our purposes, you can also blare this when encountering idiots who don't know how far six feet is. Or at least sing Sting's final repeating falsetto of "please don't stand so close to me."
10. "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" by R.E.M.
While it's not actually the end of the world, COVID-19 has shown us that it has been the end of the world as we knew it. I guess I feel fine, but I'm also an introvert, so working from home doesn't bother me.
11. "I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood & The Destroyers
There was a time when drinking alone had a negative connotation, but we've all been drinking alone a lot more over the past two and a half months, so now it's just the norm. That said, you should at least make sure there is someone on the other end of a Zoom or FaceTime when you're drinking, so that, if nothing else, you have someone other than the pictures on your wall to make inappropriate comments to. Then again, maybe when you drink alone, you prefer to be by yourself.
11. "I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood & The Destroyers
There was a time when drinking alone had a negative connotation, but we've all been drinking alone a lot more over the past two and a half months, so now it's just the norm. That said, you should at least make sure there is someone on the other end of a Zoom or FaceTime when you're drinking, so that, if nothing else, you have someone other than the pictures on your wall to make inappropriate comments to. Then again, maybe when you drink alone, you prefer to be by yourself.
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