Tuesday Top Ten: Halloween Costumes (2016 Edition)

As you know, Halloween is my favorite holiday.  With the devil's holiday being on a Monday, I was able to get two chances to dress up -- first on Saturday, for a Halloween party we threw, and second on Monday for actual Halloween.

At the party, I tried to organize a Dazed and Confused group costume, and I had mild success (which will be discussed below).  I forgot to take pictures of as many costumes this year, which is a failing.  In my own defense, I was just l-i-v-i-n during the party, and Wooderson didn't have a camera, much less a camera phone.  I did, however, have an altar to Scorpio, which I think is pretty normal.

On Halloween proper, we had the nicest weather we've had on Halloween for at least three or four years.  No rain, no snow, no 50-mph winds.  It was just a nice fall night.  This allowed for maximum trick-or-treating.  My kids took in a solid haul, Daughter dressed as Cleopatra, Lollipop dressed as Batgirl, and Son dressed as a vampire.

Perhaps my favorite moment of the night was before we went out trick-or-treating, when I asked Son what a vampire says.  This was his response.  Apparently, vampires snort.


As usual, I dressed up as something creepy, so as to put fear into the hearts of kids too young to understand that it's just a man behind the mask.  I drank dark beer out of a goblet as I gleefully handed out a wide assortment of chocolate-based candy.

But enough about that.  Let's get to the costumes.  As I do every year, here are the ten best costumes I saw in person, on Facebook, or otherwise.

11.  Matt Foley
You can't see him very well, but he's on the left.  At the end of the night, he went down by the Chicago River and slept in a van.

9-10.  Coach Conrad and two senior girls from Dazed and Confused

Son played the part of the coach quite well.  He walked around yelling "Randy Floyd!"  He also managed to memorize the last part of the coach's diatribe:  "Hey! I want that piece of paper on my desk before you leave here today, do you hear me?"  Granted, you would be extremely confused if you hadn't seen the movie.  Feel free to disregard Lollipop in her peacock costume.  She refused to be a senior, even though she fits Darla's character better than any other five-year-old I know.  If there doesn't come a point in her life where she tells someone "wipe that face off your head, bitch," I'll be both surprised and disappointed.

8.  The assistant coach from Dazed and Confused

He spent most of the evening telling people to break down and bragging about his rather athletic grandma.  Also, please note the pledge sheet.

7.  Raining cats and dogs

5-6.  Wooderson and Slater

I'm not afraid to toot my own horn.  I thought my Wooderson costume was pretty solid, and my buddy who went as Slater nailed it too. Ignore the witch. 

4.  This creepy thing

Someone posted this on Facebook, and I thought it was pretty damn cool.

3.  Boobs

2.  Old Rasputin

Someone sent this one to me.  As a beer lover and, more importantly, a lover of North Coast's Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout, I thought this costume was fantastic.  I'm posting a picture of the beer label, for comparison.

1.  Gizmo the banker

This is one of my sisters-in-law, and I laughed my ass off the first time I saw it.