Midwestern Eavesdropping - 8/30/08

It's a bumper crop, probably because I waited three weeks. Anyway, enjoy.

Twentysomething female discusses speech pathologists' salaries: "Dude, they make at least three figures."
--in a car somewhere on I-65 between Indianapolis and Chicago
Eavesdropper: Holt

Scrawled on the guitar of Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello: "Arm the homeless."
--Chicago, Grant Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH (and 40,000-45,000 others)

Law clerk in break room: "The bottom part of the muffin is a complete waste. It's the worst part of my day."
--Chicago, Prudential Plaza
Eavesdropper: 1/2 Pint

Twentysomething female: "I had too many donkey punches."
--location unknown
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Screaming 2 year old girl being carried out of restaurant: "I don't wanna go outside."
Dad: "Then you shouldn't have thrown that knife at me."
--Glenview, IL, Hackney's
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Guy 1: "Am I the only one who thought Shannon Miller was hot?"
Guy 2: "Yes, but she's hot now."
Guy 1: "She was hot then or now?"
Guy 2: "Now. Go to shannonmiller.com...seriously."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: RDC

Twenty-something male 1: "Annnd there's a massive roach."
[Twenty-something male 2 stomps it.]
Twenty-something male 1: "That's fuckin' gross."
Twenty-something male 2: "Why? It's just like stomping a cupcake."
--Chicago, Wells & Chicago
Eavesdropper: RobD

Drunk guy in bar bathroom: "I don't know what I said to my nanny tonight but it's not good."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Law clerk in break room: "Sometimes I forget I'm part Asian."
--Chicago, Prudential Plaza
Eavesdropper: 1/2 Pint

Federal judge, after criminal defense attorney told her that an order compelling a hospital to turn over medical records might not be honored: "Most of the things I do have no effect."
--Chicago, Dirksen Federal Building
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female during the 4X400M Mens Relay: "I dont think I have ever seen a black German before."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Girl in Wrigley Field bleachers in 90 degree heat: "Why would anyone show their tits?"
Girl 2: "I'd show my tits for some air conditioning."
--Chicago, Wrigley Field, 1060 W. Addison
Eavesdropper: Mountie

Thirtysomething male 1: "I got over Disney Channel two years ago."
Thirtysomething male 2: "I didn't."
--Chicago, Rose Lounge, Lincoln & Kenmore
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female: "I can't take another one for the team. I've been taking one for the team all fucking night."
--Chicago, Deja Vu, Lincoln & Wrightwood
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Cubs and Indians fans talk smack to each other in Wrigley Field bathroom:
Cubs fan: "Indians suck."
Indians fan: "Cubs suck."
Cubs fan: "Show me your rings."
Other Cubs fan: "I don't think Cubs fans can really say that."
Indians fan: "Show me your gold medal."
[Everyone in the bathroom is confused.]
--Chicago, Wrigley Field, 1060 W. Addison
Eavesdropper: GMYH

As always, thanks to everyone who contributed. Keep up the good work. Whenever you overhear something hilarious, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.