The Greatest Misinformed Compliment I've Ever Received

Saturday evening, our neighbors were over at our house for an impromptu BBQ, along with their three kids.  Their two nieces (ages 15 and 19) were staying with them for the weekend, so they came over as well.  While the adults were grilling and drinking on the deck, the nieces were playing with the kids in the house.

Jester and I have a fair amount of music-related "artwork" framed on the walls in our house.  One hallway has several Lollapalooza posters and a very cool White Stripes poster from a concert I didn't attend in Detroit in 2003.  There is a Hold Steady concert poster in our powder room, and another one hanging in our girls' room.  Jester has kindly given me one staircase to display my rock and roll memorabilia.  It is known in the house as the "Rock and Roll Staircase," although usually only referred to in the style of the beginning and chorus of The Ramones' "Rock and Roll High School" (i.e., "rock, rock, rock, rock, rock and roll staircase"), and it has what little rock memorabilia I have collected over the years, including a couple old Beatles fan magazines, the legendary KISS comic book made with their blood, a couple autographed items, and some other random items, as well as a couple framed LPs to add to the ambiance.  I should also note that I was wearing a Def Leppard t-shirt Saturday, although not the sleeveless Union Jack t-shirt that I have worn to Def Leppard shows in the past.

In my life, there are two specific compliments people have given me that really stand out.  The first was at a frat party my junior year of college.  I was conversing on the party patio with an average-looking girl, who was good friends with another guy in the house and was semi-stalking me at the time, although it's fair to say that I was far more interested in getting hit in the head with a two-by-four than I was in her.  An attractive girl walked up to us, mid-conversation, and told me "I think you're hot."  To my knowledge, this is the only time in my life someone has said that about me, at least to my face.  Of course, I had no game (and still don't!), so it was physically and mentally impossible for me to remove myself from the conversation with the average-looking girl and go find the attractive girl to discuss the next eight to ten minutes of our lives together.

The second was a couple years later at a summer job.  A female co-worker knew that I listened to CDs all day at work and asked if she could borrow a couple of CDs so that she, too, could listen to music while she was working.  I liked to keep things fresh, so I would always listen to mix CDs (for those under 25, a mix CD like an iTunes playlist, but limited to 74 minutes).  I gave her a few mix CDs that I had with me, and when she returned them the next day, she said, "Wow, your taste in music is really eclectic."  Much appreciated.

"But GMYH, how does this all come together?"  I'm getting there, fair reader.  Patience.  What seems like normal home décor and a regular t-shirt to me apparently seems like platinum records on the wall to suburban teenage girls.  At one point, one of the nieces asked her aunt, "What do they do for a living?  Are they music producers?"  This is by far the coolest thing anyone has ever thought I do with my life, and whatever money I might have spent on those posters/memorabilia and getting them framed is totally worth it.  I now have the third specific compliment I will remember for the rest of my life, even if reality is far more boring than what this girl thought.  

I only wish I would have been there when the question was posed, so I could have said something like, "Guilty as charged.  You know, I've always been a huge music fan, but with no discernible musical talent or desire to learn an instrument, it was hard for me to break into the industry in the traditional way.  One day, after about the thousandth time I unsuccessfully auditioned for a band, I said, 'Fuck it, man, I'm gonna be a producer.'  And that was that.  I did Kings of Leon's first two albums, some on-and-off work with Foo Fighters, Tom Petty, and Ke$ha, some uncredited production work for Paul McCartney -- great guy –- co-wrote and produced a couple songs on Metallica's last album, and produced and sang backing vocals on Katy Perry's upcoming album.  Have you heard of Pharrell Williams?  I co-produced some stuff for Usher, Pitbull, and Daft Punk with him.  Right now, I'm working on kind of a supergroup project, with Ozzy Osbourne and Lorde sharing lead vocals, Eddie Van Halen on lead guitar, Eddie Vedder on backing vocals and rhythm guitar –- two Eddie Vs in the same band, I know -– Billy Joel on keyboards and harmonica, everyone in Mumford & Sons on handclaps and homemade percussion instruments, Ron Jeremy on bass –- who knew? -- and Taylor Swift on drums.  For the most part, it's straight grindcore, with elements of country, pop, disco, tejano, and melodic death metal mixed in.  They're calling themselves Five Shit Monday, and I gotta tell ya, we are having a blast making this record.  What's that saying?  When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.  Now who wants some cocaine?"