Friday, December 22, 2017

Hair Band Friday - 12/22/17

1.  "Eruption" by Van Halen


2.  "Wind Me Up" by Mr. Big


3.  "Farewell To You" by White Lion


4.  "I Wanna Touch U" by Def Leppard


5.  "Slow An' Easy" by Whitesnake


6.  "Knucklebones" by David Lee Roth


7.  "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi


8.  "Civil War" by Guns N' Roses


9.  "Feels Like a Hammer" by Dangerous Toys


10.  "Shake & Tumble" by FireHouse

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Be Careful How You Dilly

After tomorrow's Hair Band Friday post, I will likely be going on a hiatus until 2018, spending next week in a sloth-like state that would make a sloth proud.  But I would never leave you empty-handed over the holidays.  Bud Light generally has a leg up on Miller Lite and Coors Light when it comes to funny TV commercials, and the "dilly dilly" medieval-themed ad campaign is no exception.  I certainly enjoy it, and found myself saying "dilly dilly" at the end of my non-denominational blessing before Thanksgiving dinner.

It seems Modist Brewing Company in Minneapolis also liked the ads, so they decided to name an IPA "Dilly Dilly Mosaic Double IPA."  Rather than be dicks about it, Bud Light sent a town crier dressed up in medieval garb to Modist to deliver a cease-and-desist letter via scroll.  Check out the full article here, where you can read the full transcript of the town crier's proclamation.  Dilly dilly, indeed.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Retro Video of the Week: "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You" by Billy Squier

Sometimes I really miss MTV.  Even though I didn't have cable growing up, I managed to watch a good amount of MTV at friends' houses.  And, of course, when I got to college, MTV was basically the default station that was on all day.  

In 1981 (the same year MTV launched), Billy Squier released "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You" as the b-side to "My Kind of Lover" (the latter of which went to #45 on the Billboard Hot 100).  At Christmas time that year, Squier visited MTV and made this video of the song, backed by the MTV cast and crew, including all five of the original VJs, Martha Quinn, J.J. Jackson, Nina Blackwood, Alan Hunter, and Mark Goodman.  I'm sure none of them realized how absolutely huge and groundbreaking their four-month-old network would soon become, but everyone is having a great time.  Quinn actually once said that it was her favorite moment working at MTV.  I included a version of the video on YouTube with a lead-in from Quinn, taped during a reunion weekend, and she explains who the crazy woman in the Santa suit is.  And why isn't it socially acceptable to wear sweaters like Squier's anymore?

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Tuesday Top Ten: Shows To Binge On This Holiday Season

If you're anything like me -- and you better pray to Krampus you're not -- then you usually take some time off around Festivus and Boxing Day each year to spend time with kith and kin.  In the age of streaming television, I use my time off to binge on TV shows that I don't otherwise have time to watch.  After all, it's cold outside, and what the hell else am I going to do?

We are living in a golden age of television.  The problem is that there are just so damn many good TV shows, but you don't have all the time in the world.  You have less than a week off.  Unless you're going on some sort of egg nog and coke-fueled bender, you probably won't have time to watch all of Game Of Thrones, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, or The Wire, so I'm not going to suggest that you do.  

Instead, I am going to give you my recommendation for eleven shows that have 30 or fewer episodes, so you may actually have a shot at binge-watching them over the holidays.  These are only TV shows that I have actually seen.  Some of them require paid subscriptions, such as Amazon, Netflix, or HBO.  Others are on cable networks, so you may be able to stream them or see them on demand.  Regardless, here they are in alphabetical order:

1.  American Horror Story (FX; 7 seasons; 84 episodes)
Right out of the bat, it appears I've broken my main rule, but alas, fair reader, I have not.  American Horror Story has had seven seasons, but each of them are completely independent of one another and have entirely different story lines.  Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, and Evan Peters are series regulars, with other actors and actresses playing roles in multiple seasons.  I have watched every season except the second (Asylum, which I've heard is good) and the fourth (Freak Show).  In order, here are my four favorite:
-Season 1 (Murder House):  Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton move from Boston to LA, and their new house is quite literally a house of horrors.
-Season 7 (Cult):  After the election of Donald Trump, a twentysomething cult leader (played masterfully by AHS regular Evan Peters) terrorizes his small Michigan town, converting some of its residents and killing others, in support of his own political aspirations.
-Season 6 (Roanoke):  This season was made as a show inside a show.  For the first half of the season, we watch a fictional documentary show called My Roanoke Nightmare about an interracial couple who moves into a giant haunted house in rural North Carolina.  After the escape and the documentary series does well, the producers of the documentary series convince the couple and the actors from the documentary series to spend three nights in the house as part of a reality special, Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell.  Without giving too much away, I'll just say that things don't go well.
-Season 3 (Coven):  A all-girls boarding school of witches living in modern day New Orleans deal with the stigma of being supernatural beings, while also battling local voodoo practitioners and a centuries-old serial killer played by Kathy Bates.

2.  Crashing (HBO; 1 season; 8 episodes)
Crashing is a hard-luck comedy series about an aspiring stand-up comic, Pete Holmes (played by Pete Holmes) who lives on Long Island.  After finding out his wife is cheating on him, he moves out and tries to make it as a stand-up in NYC, sleeping in his car and relying on other stand-up comics and acquaintances to lend him a couch to sleep on (hence the title, which is also a double entendre for Pete's less-than-stellar comedy career).  Various famous comics appear in the show as themselves as well, including Artie Lange, Sarah Silverman, Dave Attell, and T.J. Miller.

3.  The Man In The High Castle (Amazon; 2 seasons; 20 episodes)
What would life in America had been like if the Axis won World War II?  Based on the dystopian Phillip Dick novel of the same name, The Man In The High Castle explores that frightening alternate reality, in which FDR was assassinated long before WWII, followed by a succession of weak presidents.  After the Axis won the war, Japan took control of the portion of the U.S. west of the Rockies and the Nazis took control of everything east of the Rockies.  In the middle is a lawless uncontrolled territory.  Every episode is full of tension, as the characters try to cope with living in authoritarian regimes where everyone is watching and no one can be trusted.

4.  Master of None (Netflix; 2 seasons; 20 episodes)
Admittedly, I have only seen a few episodes of this one, but what I have seen so far has been hilarious.  It stars Aziz Ansari, which is pretty much all you need to know.

5.  Mindhunter (Netflix; 1 season; 10 episodes)
I have always been fascinated with serial killers, and Mindhunter allows me to vicariously appease my fascination.  It is loosely based on the two FBI agents in the '70s and a Boston College professor who invented the term "serial killer" and brought forensic psychology and criminal profiling to the mainstream criminal justice world, in large part by interviewing convicted serial killers and using those interviews to profile common attributes, behaviors, and family histories of serial killers.  In the show, some of the serial killer characters are fictional and based on real life killers, while others are portrayals of actual killers (BTK, Richard Speck).  It's part procedural, part thriller, and all interesting.  David Fincher and Charlize Theron are two of the producers, and Fincher directed four of the episodes in the first season.

6.  Peaky Blinders (Netflix/BBC; 4 seasons; 30 episodes)
This is probably my favorite show on this list, and the impending release of the fourth season in the U.S. this Thursday is what prompted me to come up with the list.  Set in post-World War I Birmingham, England, the series focuses on a local family gang, named the Peaky Blinders for their penchant for slicing opponents' eyes with razor blades attached to their pancake hats.  The unwitting patriarch of the family, Thomas Shelby (played by Cillian Murphy), is a WWI vet who returns to Birmingham and has grand plans for his "family business."  Each season is set a few years after the prior one, and they have all been great, so I'm excited to binge on Season 4 while I'm home next week.

7.  Sherlock (BBC/PBS; 4 seasons; 15 episodes)
I have only seen a little more than a season of this one, but it is really good.  Each episode is basically a movie (some clocking in at 90+ minutes long), following our modern day Sherlock Holmes (played by Benedict Cumberbatch) and Watson (played by Martin Freeman) as they solve crimes using their cunning and sometimes nothing else.

8.  Stranger Things (Netflix; 2 seasons; 20 episodes)
This is obviously a popular one.  If you haven't yet seen it, I highly recommend it, even if you're not typically a sci-fi person (I am not either).  Just in case you don't know what it's about, it's set in a small town in Indiana in the early '80s.  A preteen boy disappears on a bike ride home after hanging out with some friends, and his mom (played by Winona Ryder), the local sheriff (played by David Harbour), and the boy's friends all try to figure out what happened to him.  I'm a little more than halfway through the second season.  Ryder is great, Harbour is great, all of the kids are great, and the demogorgons are out of this world.

9.  Taboo (FX; 1 season; 8 episodes)
Set in the 1810s, Tom Hardy plays a somewhat insane and seemingly unbreakable Londoner named James Delaney, who has just returned home after spending several years in Africa.  He is at once at war with the Dutch East India Company, American spies, and his own demons.

10.  True Detective (HBO; 2 seasons; 16 episodes)
This is another series where each season is totally different.  The first season starred Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, and is about as good a crime drama series as I've ever seen.  The second season starred Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, and Rachel McAdams.  A lot of people didn't like the second season, but I thought it was pretty good (although nothing compared to the first).

11.  The Young Pope (HBO; 10 episodes)
After watching the entire first season of The Young Pope, I am still not sure if I like it or not.  It's certainly an intriguing concept -- a 40-something hardline Catholic, possibly miracle-producing, American archbishop is elected pope.  Jude Law is said pope, and his character, Lenny (aka Pope Pius XII) is great.  Diane Keaton is a nun who raised Lenny in an orphanage after his parents abandoned there him when he was a young boy, and James Cromwell plays Lenny's mentor.  The show does a good job of showing the tension between the way things have been done at the Vatican and Lenny's way of doing things (and more conservative Catholic stances).

Now that you've read my list, I welcome any recommendations you might have.  Happy binging!

Friday, December 15, 2017

Hair Band Friday - 12/15/17

1.  "Pleasure Dome" by Van Halen


2.  "Condition Critical" by Quiet Riot


3.  "Rocks Off" by Def Leppard


4.  "Life Goes On" by Poison


5.  "Inject the Venom" by AC/DC


6.  "Steal Away (The Night)" by Ozzy Osbourne


7.  "Savage" by W.A.S.P.


8.  "You Could Be Mine" by Guns N' Roses


9.  "Alone" by Heart


10.  "Who Cares?" by Extreme

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Retro Video of the Week: "Jingle Bell Rock" by Billy Idol

Apologies for not posting a Tuesday Top Ten yesterday.  I had a Heisman-related post halfway started, but then I had to, like, work and shit.  It'll have to wait until next year.  Today's Retro Video of the Week is a lovely little cover of "Jingle Bell Rock" by Billy Idol.  It has a rockabilly feel to it, and it's gloriously cheesy.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Midwestern Eavesdropping

Thirtysomething wife to husband:  "You'd probably be a good singer if you weren't tone deaf."
--Austin, TX
Eavesdropper:  Waterloo Sunset

Friday, December 08, 2017

Hair Band Friday - 12/8/17

1.  "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison


2.  "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne



3.  "High Enough" by Damn Yankees



4.  "Panama" by Van Halen



5.  "Bad Boys Running Wild" by Scorpions



6.  "Lay It Down" by Ratt



7.  "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" by Quiet Riot



8.  "Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest



9.  "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by Joan Jett



10.  "Heaven" by Warrant

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Ultimate Holiday Party Playlist

It's been a few years since I've blessed you fine people with my Ultimate Holiday Playlist, and for that I insincerely apologize.  Now that we're in December, I can guaran-damn-tee that we're going to be going to some parties.  And if you're throwing one of those parties or for some reason you're in charge of the music at one of those parties, then consider me your sherpa on the journey to the apex of yuletide anal aural bliss.

As I've mentioned in the past, the playlist is geared towards adult parties where people will not want to fall asleep (at least not without the help of some wicked egg nog your brother makes with lighter fluid), so the list does not contain some slower holiday classics like Nat King Cole's "Christmas Song," Bing Crosby's version of "White Christmas," or any of the many versions of "Baby, It's Cold Outside."  If you want your playlist to conjure in your guests images of people fire-roasting nuts that no one really eats anymore, a man beating his children with a sack of sweet Valencia oranges, or a man slipping a girl a mickey so she won't leave his apartment, then by all means, add those songs to your playlist.


Also, my list does not contain songs geared towards children, like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" or "Nuttin' For Christmas."  If you are going to have a holiday party with children who hate snitches or who are enamored with the thought of an elderly woman being trampled to death by nine 400-pound hoofed animals, then by all means, add those songs to your playlist.


I should also note that I haven't had a chance to listen Cheap Trick's new Christmas album, which is supposed to be good, so next year's list may include a selection or two from Rockford's finest.

What my list does contain is 58 holiday-themed songs from different genres and time periods that will make your holiday party one to remember.  Or not remember if you make it a "Baby, It's Cold Outside"-themed party, which may be a nice satirical way to commemorate 2017, aka the Year of the Groper.


So you can download these songs, make a mix tape, make a YouTube playlist, or make a Spotify playlist -- or whatever it is you kids do these days with music you don't own forever -- and just stick to these or add some non-holiday songs into the mix if you're feeling haughty.


Here are the songs in alphabetical order by song title.  Yes, there are some songs with multiple versions, but I assure you, they are all worth -- and that's why the "shuffle" feature was invented anyway, just in case you were going to play these in order:


1.  "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders
2.  "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey
3.  "Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter
4.  "The Bells of St. Mary" by Bob B. Soxx & The Blue Jeans
5.  "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley
6.  "The Chanukah Song" by Adam Sandler
7.  "The Chipmunk Song (Please Christmas Don't Be Late)" by The Chipmunks
8.  "Christmas All Over Again" by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
9.  "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Darlene Love
10.  "Christmas In Hollis" by Run-D.M.C.
11.  "Christmas Is Going To The Dogs" by Eels
12.  "The Christmas Song" by The Raveonettes
13.  "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)" by The Darkness
14.  "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses
15.  "Christmas Vacation" by Mavis Staples
16.  "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid
17.  "(Everybody's Waiting For) The Man With the Bag" by Kay Starr
18.  "Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday" by William Bell
19.  "Father Christmas" by The Kinks
20.  "Frosty the Snowman" by The Ronettes
21.  "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" by John Lennon
22.  "Here Comes Santa Claus" by Bob B. Soxx & The Blue Jeans
23.  "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by The Jackson 5
24.  "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday" by Wizzard
25.  "(It Must've Been) Ol' Santa Claus" by Harry Connick, Jr.
26.  "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms
27.  "Jingle Bells" by Wayne Newton
28.  "Jingle Bells" by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
29.  "Just Like Christmas" by Low
30.  "Last Christmas" by Wham!
31.  "Little Drummer Boy" by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
32.  "Little Saint Nick" by The Beach Boys
33.  "Mele Kalikimaka" by Bing Crosby
34.  "Merry Christmas Baby" by Lou Rawls
35.  "Merry Christmas, Baby" by The Beach Boys
36.  "Merry Xmas Everybody" by Slade
37.  "Oi To the World" by No Doubt
38.  "One Little Christmas Tree" by Stevie Wonder
39.  "A Party for Santa Claus" by Lord Nelson
40.  "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy" by Bing Crosby and David Bowie
41.  "Please Come Home For Christmas" by Charles Brown
42.  "Rock and Roll Christmas" by George Thorogood & The Destroyers
43.  "Rock-a-Billy Christmas" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
44.  "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee
45.  "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by The Crystals
46.  "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by The Temptations
47.  "Run Rudolph Run" by Chuck Berry
48.  "Run Rudolph Run" by Lemmy Kilmister
49.  "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" by The Crystals
50.  "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" by Bruce Springsteen
51.  "Santa's Beard" by The Beach Boys
52.  "Sleigh Ride" by The Ronette
53.  "What Christmas Means to Me" by Stevie Wonder
54.  "White Christmas" by Darlene Love
55.  "White Christmas" by The Drifters
56.  "White Christmas" by Otis Redding (my favorite version of "White Christmas")
57.  "Winter Wonderland" by Darlene Love
58.  "'Zat You Santa Claus?" by Louis Armstrong & The Commanders

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Retro Video of the Week: "Father Christmas" by The Kinks

Now that we are into December, as we do every year here at GMYH, the Retro Videos of the Week this month will be holiday themed.  First up is The Kinks' "Father Christmas."  While technically it falls outside the time limitations of Retro Video of the Week (i.e., the MTV era), it's too fucking important to worry about time limitations and, frankly, there are only so many holiday-themed music videos from the MTV era to go around.  Plus, it's a great song.  So there you go.  Happy St. Nicholas Day, bastards.

Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Tuesday Top Ten: Best Breweries of 2017

A few days ago, I came across an article on the World Wide Web entitled "The 10 Best Breweries of 2017."  I like beer, so I decided to check it out.  They all sound fantastic, and I take it as a good sign that I haven't heard of many of them despite the fact that I drink a lot of beer.  They all appear to be regional/local breweries.  Here's the list:
-Brew Gentlemen (Braddock, PA)
-Triple Crossing (Richmond, VA)
-Two Roads (Stratford, CT)
-WeldWorks (Greeley, CO)
-Jackie O's (Athens, OH)
-Perennial (St. Louis, MO)
-Societe (San Diego, CA)
-J. Wakefield (Miami, FL)
-Austin Beer Garden (Austin, TX)
-Tired Hands (Ardmore, PA)

I went to the almighty Untappd to see if any of the 2,276 unique beers I've checked in belong to any of these ten breweries.  The only one was Perennial, and I've had six of their beers.  Here they are (with my rating), in reverse chronological order of when I drank them:
-Sump Coffee Stout (4 stars)
-Meriwether saison (4.25 stars)
-Suburban Beverage gose (3.5 stars)
-Dual Artisanship saison (3.5 stars)
-Black Walnut Dunkel dunkelweizen (4 stars)
-Saison de Lis (4 stars)

So if Perennial is any indication of the quality of the rest of the list, then apparently I need to take a trip to Binny's to see if any of they have non-IPAs from any of these breweries.

Friday, December 01, 2017

Hair Band Friday - 12/1/17

1.  "Love On The Rocks" by Poison


2.  "Cabo Wabo" by Van Halen


3.  "Operation: Mindcrime" by Queensrÿche


4.  "Electric Gypsy" by L.A. Guns


5.  "Fractured Love" by Def Leppard


6.  "Signs" (live) by Tesla


7.  "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)" by Cinderella


8.  "Spiders" by Ozzy Osbourne


9.  "Seasons of Change" by FireHouse


10.  "November Rain" by Guns N' Roses