Hair Band Friday - 6/28/19

1.  "Happy Trails" by Van Halen


2.  "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC


3.  "Don't Mess Around With Jim" by Poison


4.  "Don't Wanna Let You Go" by Quiet Riot


5.  "Standing in the Shadows" by Dokken


6.  "I Love Rock and Roll" by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts


7.  "Miracle Man" (live) by Ozzy Osbourne


8.  "The Bottom Line" by David Lee Roth


9.  "Mama Kin" (live) by Guns N' Roses


10.  "Love's Got Me Doin' Time" by Cinderella

Retro Video of the Week: "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince & The Revolution

Yesterday marked the 35th anniversary of the release of Prince's most famous album, Purple Rain, which served both as his sixth studio album, the soundtrack to the film of the same name, and his first album with The Revolution as his backing band.  I was shocked to discover that I have never had a Prince video on Retro Video of the Week.  Shame on me.

Purple Rain is widely considered one of the best albums of the '80s.  It spent about two and a half years on the Billboard album charts, including an astonishing 24 weeks in a row at #1, from August 1984 to January 1985.  It has sold over 25 million copies worldwide, including over 13 million in the U.S., making it a certified diamond album by the RIAA.  It's one of the top ten best-selling soundtracks ever.  It won multiple Grammys.  The film won the Oscar for Best Original Song Score.  Simply put, Purple Rain is a masterpiece, and everyone should own a copy.

Of course, a great album is comprised of great songs.  Purple Rain had five Top 40 hits in the U.S., including Prince's first two #1 songs ("When Doves Cry" and "Let's Go Crazy"), the title track (#2), "I Would Die 4 U" (#8), and "Take Me With U" (#25).  And then there's "Darling Nikki," the song about masturbation that prompted Tipper Gore to go ape shit and start the PMRC.

I'm going with "Let's Go Crazy" because it's my favorite Prince song.  It's the first track off the album.  From the beginning eulogistic sermon (unfortunately, the full one isn't in the video) to that wicked guitar solo at the end, it's fun, catchy, rocking song.  I love the subtle interplay in the second verse between Prince and the backup singer (not sure if that's Wendy Melvoin or Lisa Coleman).  It's little things like that that made Prince a master songwriter.  All in all, it's a fantastic song that always puts me in a good mood.

Tuesday Top Ten: "Green" Songs

As you may have heard, Illinois recently became the 11th state to legalize marijuana for recreational use -- and the first to legalize it through the legislature, rather than a referendum.  More like a reeferendum, am I right?  This will provide some much needed revenue for the Land of Lincoln.  More like the Land of Tokin', am I right?  The countdown has begun, as the law goes into effect on January 1, 2020.  More like 42020, am I right?  Okay, can we all just agree that I'm right?

In honor of Illinois becoming green, here are my ten favorite songs with the word "green" in the title.  These are in absolutely no particular order.

1.  "Green Onion" by Booker T. & The M.G.'s
This is a classic instrumental from the Stax house band, the M.G.'s, featuring Steve Cropper on guitar, Donald "Duck" Dunn on bass, and Al Jackson on drums, and led by fellow IU alum and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Booker T. Jones on the organ.  To be clear, both he and I are alums of Indiana University.  Only he is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (along with the rest of the M.G.'s).  I am still waiting for the rock and roll intelligentsia to catch up with the subtle genius of my short-lived college punk band, Cervical Implosion. 


2.  "Green Manalishi (With the Two-Pronged Crown)" by Judas Priest
On their classic 1979 album Hell Bent For Leather (side note:  with album and song titles like that, who couldn't have predicted Rob Halford was gay?), Judas Priest included a cover of this of an early Fleetwood Mac gem.  Like when Fleetwood Mac was still a blues-based rock band led by Peter -- wait for it -- Green.  Judas Priest played the song at Live Aid.  When having a Live Aid-themed New Years Eve party and Live Aid-themed cocktails at said party, a Green Manalishi -- comprised of equal parts Sour Apple Pucker and Fireball -- won't go over as well as you might think. Jesus Christ, people, it's apple cinnamon. What's the issue?


3.  "Green River" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
CCR released some fantastic music, and the title track off of their third album -- released only 13 months after their first album, mind you -- is no exception.  "Green River" isn't necessarily the song you might think of first when you think of CCR, but it was one of five songs that hit #2 on the Billboard Hot 100.


4.  "Little Green Bag" by George Baker Selection
Thanks to the fantastic soundtrack to Reservoir Dogs, Quentin Tarantino introduced a new generation of viewers/listeners to this 1969 minor hit for the Dutch group George Baker Selection.  It was originally entitled "Little Greenback" -- since that's the actual lyric -- but was later changed to "Little Green Bag" for reasons that are unclear to anyone except grass dealers. That's what they called it back then.


5.  "Green-Eyed Lady" by Sugarloaf
This trippy 1970 hit was Sugarloaf's biggest, hitting #3 on the Billboard Hot 100. As someone with hazel eyes, I've been waiting my entire lifetime for the female response to this song. Surely some woman out there has a "Green-Eyed Dude" she wants to write a 7-minute organ-heavy rock jam about. If not, just write it about me. "Green-Eyed Blogger" practically writes itself.


6.  "Green Hell" by The Misfits
Horror punk can have "green" songs too, even if you can't really tell that Glenn Danzig is saying "green."


7.  "Green Grass and High Tides" by Outlaws
In 1975, southern rockers Outlaws released their self-titled debut album, which featured this nearly-ten-minute jam that is an ode to fallen rock stars.


8.  "Don't Let The Green Grass Fool You" by Wilson Pickett
This is a happy-sounding little ditty from another Stax legend and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer.  I say "happy-sounding" because it's actually about some chick who's gonna leaver her man for someone else, but her current man is letting her know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of adultery.  It hit #17 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1971, as well as #2 on the Billboard R&B charts.


9.  "Silver and Green" by Angus Khan
Metal biker band Angus Khan only released one album, 2009's Black Leather Soul, and it was a great hard rock album.  It's too bad they appear not have released anything since then, but such is life.  "Silver and Green" is a nice little rocker, and it almost has a grunge feel to it.


10.  "Voices Green and Purple" by The Bees
This one is from the 1998 4-CD version of the legendary Nuggets compilation assembled by Lenny Kaye and originally released in 1972.  Nuggets contains, well, nuggets of garage rock and psychedelic rock from the late '60s.  1966's "Voices Green and Purple" is a fine example of said music. It sounds like a bad acid trip, were I to know what a bad acid trip sounded like.

Hair Band Friday - 6/21/19

1.  "Double Talkin' Jive" by Guns N' Roses


2.  "D.R.F.S.R." by Warrant


3.  "Eddie's Comin' Out Tonight" by Night Ranger


4.  "Back On the Street" by Vinnie Vincent Invasion


5.  "Eagles Fly" by Sammy Hagar


6.  "Animal" by Def Leppard


7.  "Naughty Naughty" by Danger Danger


8.  "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi


9.  "Sex Drive" by W.A.S.P.


10.  "She Wants Money" by Ratt

Retro Video of the Week: "If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher

Today is the 30th anniversary of the release of Cher's Heart of Stone album, which was very much a comeback album for Cher.  It is with pure kismet that Jester happened to be watching a Reelz docudrama about Cher a few nights ago, so her triumphs and failures are fresh in my mind. Notably, the docudrama did not address her role in "Stuck on You," which I really think was worthy of mentioning.

While her acting career had blossomed in the early to mid '80s with high-profile roles in films like Silkwood, Mask, Witches of Eastwick, and Moonstruck (for which she won an Oscar for Best Actress), her music career had all but petered out.  Her 1987 self-titled album was the first album to crack the Billboard Top 200 album charts since 1979, reaching #32 and producing a pair of Top 20 songs ("I Found Someone" (#10) and "We All Sleep Alone" (#14")).  

However, it was 1989's Heart of Stone that reinjected her into the music mainstream.  The album went to #10 on the Billboard album charts -- the highest-charting of her 18 solo albums released to that point.  Thanks to songs written by such songwriting and rock stalwarts as Diane Warren, Desmond Child, Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora, Michael Bolton, and Jonathan Cain, Heart of Stone went quadruple platinum and featured four Top 20 songs, three of which made the Top 10:  "After All" (#6), "If I Could Turn Back Time" (#3), "Just Like Jesse James" (#8), and the title track (#20).

But I think we all know what we remember most about Heart of Stone:  the video to the Warren-penned "If I Could Turn Back Time."  A then-43-year-old Cher in fishnets and a v-shaped bathing suit that barely covered her lady bits belted the song out in front of hundreds of happy seamen on the U.S.S. Missouri.  The video was initially banned on MTV, but then the station relented and played it only after 9 p.m.

I remember Dennis Miller remarking at some point about Cher wearing two bandaids and a cork.  While that was obviously somewhat of an exaggeration, there were plenty of adolescent males who enjoyed the video.  The song went to #3 in the U.S., making it her highest-charting single in 15 years, and it was a worldwide hit as well, hitting the top 20 in 12 other countries, including the Top 10 in six and #1 in Australia.

Tuesday Top Ten: Songs About Gender Identity

As you may know, I'm currently reading Lou Reed's biography.  I knew that he had experimented with bisexuality in the '70s -- or perhaps I should say I thought he experimented with bisexuality in the '70s.  In reality, he was doing a whole lot more than experimenting, and going back to his days in The Velvet Underground and as a part of Andy Warhol's sphere, transvestites were a fixture in his life.  For much of the mid-'70s, Reed was in a serious relationship with a trans woman named Rachel, who occasionally went by her birth name, Richard.

Reed's 1972 album Transformer is not only considered one of the best rock albums of all-time, but it is also considered a gay and trans watershed point.  Reed was singing about things that no one had really sung about before, and he brought to the forefront topics and themes that had largely been, for lack of a better phrase, in the closet before then.  I've always said that Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side" is the second-best song about transvestites, and I still think that's true ("Lola" will always be #1).

So, with my current reading and the fact that it is Pride Month, it seems like there's no time like the present to have a Tuesday Top Ten about gender identity, androgyny, and/or gender bending.  As a straight man, I certainly can't begin to comprehend what it must be like to be trans, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize.  Jesus Christ, I'm not a Republican.  I'm a male, I've always felt like a male, and I happened to have been born with a dong, but I realize not everyone is born in the body (and with the body parts) they want.  And there are plenty of great rock songs that address the issue of gender identity that hopefully have helped trans kids and adults over the years feel that they're not alone in the world.  

With that, here are my top ten songs about trans men and/or women, androgyny, or gender bending.  Not all are necessarily explicitly about that, but some are on the list for obvious reasons.  I'm only including one song per artist (otherwise there would likely be more Bowie, Reed, and VU), and I'm just going to go in alphabetical order by artist.  Given that many of these songs came out in the '70s, this list proves the age-old truth that art is generally ahead of societal norms.  Be who you are, love who you love, and don't judge anyone else for doing the same.  And listen to rock and roll. 

1.  "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" by Aerosmith (1987)
This is one of the songs that helped bring Aerosmith back into the rock and roll limelight, and it's about, well, a dude who looks like a lady.  For all the machismo that you might think Aerosmith or a typical Aerosmith fan might exude, this is actually a pretty forward-thinking song.  The narrator seems to be okay with the fact that one of his groupies had "the body of a Venus" but "whipped out a gun."  A "gun" is a penis in this context, just so we're clear.


2.  "Transgender Dysphoria Blues" by Against Me! (2014)
It would be hard to have a list about trans songs without including one by Against Me!, whose lead singer, Laura Jane Grace (born Thomas James Gabel), came out as a woman in 2012 and is in the process of transitioning to a female.  She is one of the first punk artists to come out as trans, and this song -- the title track off of the band's 2014 album -- is about gender dysphoria, as you may have surmised.


3.  "Get Back" by The Beatles (1970)
While this may not seem like an obvious choice, let's talk about Loretta, sweet sweet Loretta.  She thought she was a woman, but she was "another man."


4.  "Girls & Boys" by Blur (1994)
Britpop rockers Blur released this catchy little number in 1994, and it became their first Top 5 hit in their native UK.  The chorus is an earworm:  "Girls who are boys / Who like boys to be girls / Who do boys like they're girls / Who do girls like they're boys / Always should be someone you really love."


5.  "Sweet Transvestite" by Tim Curry (1975)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a trans milestone, and this song is the introduction to Curry's campy and vampy Dr. Frank N. Furter, who looks like a terrifying version of that Italian great aunt who always wears too much makeup -- from the neck up anyway.  The song is a glam rock send up, and in case it wasn't clear from his corset, lipstick, and stockings, he explains, "I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania."


6.  "Queen Bitch" by David Bowie (1971)
I could have put any of a handful of Bowie songs on this list, but "Queen Bitch" is one of my top five favorite Bowie songs.  It's a fantastic rock song about a queen, who also happens to be a bitch.  The riff was inspired by The Velvet Underground's "Sweet Jane" (see below), and the subject matter is all about crossdressing "cruisers."


7.  "The Crying Game" by Boy George (1992)
This is kind of a double whammy.  While the song itself does not have any transgender themes, it's sung by the most famous man who dressed in women's clothing from the '80s -- and, of course, it was used as the theme song for the 1992 film of the same name, where a character thought to be a woman is revealed to be a man during a rather intimate moment.  As a result, this song is forever linked with transgender reveals, which I presume is not something that happens with the same fervor as baby gender reveals.


8.  "Lola" by The Kinks (1970)
I can't improve on my description of the song in my post about two and a half years ago about my ten favorite Kinks songs.  Quite simply, this is the best rock and roll song ever about a transvestite.


9.  "Royal Orleans" by Led Zeppelin (1976)
This song's about a time when Zeppeling bassist John Paul Jones took home what he thought was a woman, but turned out to be a man -- a man who then set fire to Jones's hotel room (at the Royal Orleans in New Orleans).  It's also one of the few Zeppelin songs where all four members have songwriting credit.  Any why wouldn't they all want songwriting credit with lines like this:  "New Orleans queens / Sure know how to schmooze it / Maybe for some that seems alright / When I step out, strut down with my sugar / She'd best not talk like Barry White."


10.  "Walk On The Wild Side" by Lou Reed (1972)
As I mentioned above, this is off of Reed's 1972 album Transformer, and it's all about the underbelly of New York and the world that Reed was very much a part of.  Hookers, drugs, cross dressers giving BJs.  All the characters were based on people he knew (from his days hanging around with Andy Warhol), even Sugar Plum Fairy.


11.  "Androgynous" by The Replacements (1984)
"Androgynous" is off of my favorite Replacements' album, 1984's Let It Be.  It's a loungy song with only piano and Paul Westerberg's vocals, but the message is that love knows no gender, predicting the swing in societal acceptance of transgender people that wouldn't start to come for another 20+ years.


12.  "Sweet Jane" by The Velvet Underground (1970)
This is one of my favorite VU songs, though I could have included various other songs by the band ("Candy Says," for example).  "Sweet Jane" is about a nice couple, Jack and Jane, who like to wear corsets and vests, respectively.  Do what you like.  In that context, I think the final line before the bridge -- "And anyone who ever played a part / They wouldn't turn around and hate it" -- takes on some additional significance for anyone who may have been hiding their sexuality or gender identity (and thus, "playing a part").

More On First-Time Champions

Following up on my post from last Tuesday about droughts before franchises' first championships and the relatively rare occurrence of having two first-time champions in the same year, what was then only possible has now become reality.  In back-to-back nights last week, the St. Louis Blues clinched their franchise's first-ever Stanley Cup and the Toronto Raptors clinched their franchise's first-ever NBA championship (and the first NBA title for a team located outside the United States).

As I mentioned Tuesday, this is the 8th time in the last 30 years that we have two first-time champions in the same year:

-2019:  St. Louis Blues (NHL), Toronto Raptors (NBA)

-2018:  Philadelphia Eagles (NFL), Washington Capitals (NHL)

-2006:  Carolina Hurricanes (NHL), Miami Heat (NBA)

-2002:  Anaheim Angels (MLB), New England Patriots (NFL)

-2001:  Arizona Diamondbacks (MLB), Baltimore Ravens (NFL)

-1999:  Dallas Stars (NHL), San Antonio Spurs (NBA)

-1991:  Chicago Bulls (NBA), Pittsburgh Penguins (NHL)

-1989:  Calgary Flames (NHL), Detroit Pistons (NBA)

Amazingly, it's not the first time that first-time champions have been crowned on consecutive days.  In 2006, the Carolina Hurricanes clinched the Stanley Cup a day before the Miami Heat won the NBA title.

But what intrigues me more than anything -- yes, anything -- is the frequency with which franchises have won their first titles over the past 40 years, particularly in the NBA.  If the past is any indication, this won't be the last title from the Raptors, and their next one will come soon.

Below is a look at the first-time champions in each of the four major sports leagues since 1980, as well as the number of different franchises that have won titles during that span in each league and the franchises in each league that have never won a title (with the year they joined their respective leagues).

As expected, the NBA has the least parity.  While 8 teams have won their first titles since 1980, only 12 teams have won championships during that span.  On the other hand, over 50% of the teams in the other three leagues have won titles since 1980 (including a whopping 70% of Major League Baseball teams), and there are more NHL teams that won their first Stanley Cup (13) than overall NBA teams that have won a title in that span.  And while the NBA has had more expansion teams since 1980 than the NFL or MLB (but fewer than the NHL), expansion teams have won titles in all four leagues during that span.

Here are the overall percentages for each league:
-70% of the current MLB franchises have won a World Series since 1980 (4 expansion teams joined since 1980)
-58.1% of the current NHL franchises have won a Stanley Cup since 1980 (10 expansion teams joined since 1980)
-53.1% of the current NFL franchises have won a Super Bowl since 1980 (4 expansion teams joined since 1980)
-40% of the current NBA franchises have won an NBA title since 1980 (8 expansion teams joined since 1980)

Here are the detailed breakdowns for each league:

MLB

First time World Series champs since 1980:  7

-Philadelphia Phillies (1980)

-Kansas City Royals (1985)

-Toronto Blue Jays (1992)

-Florida Marlins (1997)

-Arizona Diamondbacks (2001)

-Anaheim Angels (2002)

-Houston Astros (2017)

Number of different teams that have won the World Series since 1980:  21

-New York Yankees:  5 (1996, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2009)

-Boston Red Sox:  4 (2004, 2007, 2013, 2018)

-San Francisco Giants:  3 (2010, 2012, 2014)

-St. Louis Cardinals:  3 (1982, 2006, 2011)

-Florida/Miami Marlins:  2 (1997, 2003)

-Kansas City Royals:  2 (1985, 2015)

-Los Angeles Dodgers:  2 (1981, 1988)

-Minnesota Twins:  2 (1987, 1991)

-Philadelphia Phillies:  2 (1980, 2008)

-Toronto Blue Jays:  2 (1992, 1993)

-Anaheim/LA Angels:  1 (2002)

-Arizona Diamondbacks:  1 (2001)

-Atlanta Braves:  1 (1995)

-Baltimore Orioles:  1 (1983)

-Chicago Cubs:  1 (2016)

-Chicago White Sox:  1 (2005)

-Cincinnati Reds:  1 (1990)

-Detroit Tigers:  1 (1984)

-Houston Astros:  1 (2017)

-New York Mets:  1 (1986)

-Oakland Athletics:  1 (1989)

Franchises without any World Series titles (with year in which they completed their first season in MLB):  7 (23.3% of the MLB)
-Colorado Rockies (1993)
-Milwaukee Brewers/Seattle Pilots (1969)
-San Diego Padres (1969)
-Seattle Mariners (1977)
-Tampa Bay Rays/Devil Rays (1998)
-Texas Rangers/Washington Senators (second) (1961)
-Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos (1969)

NBA

First time NBA champs since 1980:  8

-Detroit Pistons (1989)

-Chicago Bulls (1991)

-Houston Rockets (1994)

-San Antonio Spurs (1999)

-Miami Heat (2006)

-Dallas Mavericks (2011)

-Cleveland Cavaliers (2016)

-Toronto Raptors (2019)

Number of different teams that have won the NBA title since 1980:  12

-Los Angeles Lakers:  10 (1980, 1982, 1985, 1987, 1988, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2009, 2010)

-Chicago Bulls:  6 (1991, 1992, 1993, 1996, 1997, 1998)

-San Antonio Spurs:  5 (1999, 2003, 2005, 2007, 2014)

-Boston Celtics:  4 (1981, 1984, 1986, 2008)

-Detroit Pistons:  3 (1989, 1990, 2004)

-Golden State Warriors:  3 (2015, 2017, 2018)

-Miami Heat:  3 (2006, 2012, 2013)

-Houston Rockets:  2 (1994, 1995)

-Cleveland Cavaliers:  1 (2016)

-Dallas Mavericks:  1 (2011)

-Philadelphia 76ers:  1 (1983)

-Toronto Raptors:  1 (2019)

Franchises without any NBA titles (with year in which they completed their first season in NBA):  11 (36.7% of the NBA)

-Brooklyn/New Jersey Nets (1976)
-Charlotte Hornets/Bobcats (1988)
-Denver Nuggets (1976)
-Indiana Pacers (1976)
-Los Angeles/San Diego Clippers/Buffalo Braves (1970)
-Minnesota Timberwolves (1989)
-Memphis/Vancouver Grizzlies (1995)
-New Orleans Pelicans/Hornets (2002)
-Orlando Magic (1989)
-Phoenix Suns (1968)
-Utah/New Orleans Jazz (1974)

NFL

First time Super Bowl/NFL champs since 1980 (I'm including NFL championships prior to the Super Bowl era):  7

-San Francisco 49ers (1982)

-Denver Broncos (1998)

-Baltimore Ravens (2001)

-New England Patriots (2002)

-Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2003)

-New Orleans Saints (2009)

-Seattle Seahawks (2013)

Number of different teams that have won the Super Bowl since 1980:  17

-New England Patriots:  6 (2002, 2004, 2005, 2015, 2017, 2019)

-San Francisco 49ers:  5 (1982, 1985, 1989, 1990, 1995)

-New York Giants:  4 (1987, 1991, 2008, 2012)

-Dallas Cowboys:  3 (1993, 1994, 1996)

-Denver Broncos:  3 (1998, 1999, 2016)

-Pittsburgh Steelers:  3 (1980, 2006, 2009)

-Washington Redskins:  3 (1983, 1988, 1992)

-Baltimore Ravens:  2 (2001, 2013)

-Green Bay Packers:  2 (1997, 2011)

-Oakland/LA Raiders:  2 (1981, 1984)

-Chicago Bears:  1 (1986)

-Indianapolis Colts:  1 (2007)

-New Orleans Saints:  1 (2010)

-Philadelphia Eagles:  1 (2018)

-Seattle Seahawks:  1 (2014)

-St. Louis/LA Rams:  1 (2000)

-Tampa Bay Buccaneers:  1 (2003)

Franchises without any NFL titles (pre-Super Bowl era NFL titles count; with year in which they completed their first season in NFL):  9 (28.1% of the NFL)

-Atlanta Falcons (1966)
-Buffalo Bills (1970)
-Carolina Panthers (1995)
-Cincinnati Bengals (1970)
-Houston Texans (2002)
-Jacksonville Jaguars (1995)
-Los Angeles/San Diego Chargers (1970)
-Minnesota Vikings (1961)
-Tennessee Titans/Houston Oilers (1970)

NHL

First time Stanley Cup champs since 1980:  13
-New York Islanders (1980)
-Edmonton Oilers (1984)
-Calgary Flames (1989)
-Pittsburgh Penguins (1991)
-New Jersey Devils (1995)
-Colorado Avalanche (1996)
-Dallas Stars (1999)
-Tampa Bay Lightning (2004)
-Carolina Hurricanes (2006)
-Anaheim Ducks (2007)
-Los Angeles Kings (2012)
-Washington Capitals (2018)
-St. Louis Blues (2019)

Number of different teams that have won the Stanley Cup since 1980:  18

-Edmonton Oilers:  5 (1984, 1985, 1987, 1988, 1990)
-Pittsburgh Penguins:  5 (1991, 1992, 2009, 2016, 2017)
-Detroit Red Wings:  4 (1996, 1997, 2002, 2008)
-New York Islanders:  4 (1980, 1981, 1982, 1983)
-Chicago Blackhawks:  3 (2010, 2013, 2015)
-Colorado Avalanche:  2 (1996, 2001)
-Los Angeles Kings:  2 (2012, 2014)
-Montreal Canadiens:  2 (1986, 1993)
-New Jersey Devils:  2 (1995, 2000)
-Anaheim Ducks:  1 (2007)
-Boston Bruins:  1 (2011)
-Calgary Flames:  1 (1989)
-Carolina Hurricanes:  1 (2006)
-Dallas Stars:  1 (1999)
-New York Rangers:  1 (1994)
-St. Louis Blues:  1 (2019)
-Tampa Bay Lightning:  1 (2004)
-Washington Capitals:  1 (2018)

Franchises without any Stanley Cups (with year in which they completed their first season):  11 (35.5% of the NHL)
-Arizona Coyotes/Winnipeg Jets (original) (1980)
-Buffalo Sabres (1971)
-Columbus Blue Jackets (2001)
-Florida Panthers (1994)
-Minnesota Wild (2001)
-Nashville Predators (1999)
-Ottawa Senators (1993)
-San Jose Sharks (1992)
-Vancouver Canucks (1971)
-Vegas Golden Knights (2018)
-Winnipeg Jets (new)/Atlanta Thrashers (2000)

Hair Band Friday - 6/14/19

1.  "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison


2.  "Down Boys" by Warrant


3.  "Do Ya Know" by Slaughter


4.  "I'll Never Let You Go" by Steelheart


5.  "In My Dreams" by Dokken


6.  "Tear It Down" by Def Leppard


7.  "Dream On" by Britny Fox


8.  "Seventeen" by Winger 


9.  "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe


10.  "Wasted Time" by Skid Row

New Book: Lou Reed: A Life by Anthony DeCurtis

A few weeks ago, I finished Chuck Klosterman X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century by Chuck Klosterman.  It's a collection of essays and articles he has written over the past 19 years on various pop culture and sports-related topics.  There is a lot of good stuff in there, including some of his interviews with various musicians, ranging from Eddie Van Halen to Taylor Swift.  My favorite piece was his lengthy article about KISS, chronicling and rating every album (both group and solo), and providing various other ruminations about the band.  He also had two pieces on Lou Reed, which is timely, considering . . . .

I have since started reading Lou Reed: A Life by Anthony DeCurtis.  I'm already about halfway through.  Having been a Velvet Underground fan since the mid '90s, I recently came to the realization that I didn't know much about Lou Reed himself or much about his solo work post-VU -- other than the Transformer album and "Walk On The Wild Side," which everyone knows.  Obviously, I know he's widely considered one of the most influential rock stars ever and that he had a reputation for being an asshole, but my knowledge has been relatively limited to this point to rock docs or books about punk in general (and his influence).  So I decided to get a Lou Reed bio.  It didn't hurt that the book was written by fellow IU alum and acclaimed rock journalist Anthony DeCurtis, who apparently was one of the few journalists who had a good rapport with Reed -- granted, not a good enough rapport for DeCurtis to write a Lou Reed biography before Reed died.

Books Read in 2019:
-The Anatomy of Evil by Michael H. Stone, M.D.
-The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King
-Room Full of Mirrors: A Biography of Jimi Hendrix by Charles R. Cross
-Chuck Klosterman X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century by Chuck Klosterman

Retro Video of the Week: "No Scrubs" by TLC

This past Sunday marked the 25th anniversary of one of the most infamous MTV News-worthy moments of the '90s:  when TLC's Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes burned down then-boyfriend Andre Rison's mansion.  They were apparently in the midst of a domestic dispute (which sounds like it was a common occurrence), and Lopes put a bunch of Rison's shoes in a bathtub and lit them on fire, as one does to assert dominance.  Unfortunately, the fire spread to the rest of the house and destroyed it.

TLC released "No Scrubs" a few years later, in 1999, and it became the group's third #1 song in the U.S.  "No Scrubs" was all about dudes (or "bustas," as it were) who can't get no love from the ladies because they're d-bags.  Whether it was aimed in part at Rison, I don't know -- though it does sound like he was a bit of a busta.  But either way, RIP Left Eye.

Tuesday Top Ten: Major Sports Droughts Before First Championship and Years in Which Two Leagues Had First-Time Champs

The last several years have been good for long-suffering pro sports fan bases, with the likes of the Cubs, Cavaliers, Astros, Eagles, Royals, Warriors, and Capitals ending droughts of 30+ years without championships.  

Tomorrow night, in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, the St. Louis Blues have a chance to win their first Stanley Cup in their 51-year existence.  Meanwhile, the Toronto Raptors, who lost a heartbreaker in Game 5 last night, are up 3-2 on the Warriors in the NBA Finals and have a chance to win their first NBA title in their franchise's 24-year existence. 

Before we get to the droughts, here are some other interesting stats.  If the Raptors win, they will be the first Canadian team to win a championship in the four major sports leagues since the Blue Jays won the World Series in 1993 (the Canadiens also won the Stanley Cup earlier that year).

If both the Blues and Raptors win, it will be the second year in a row when there are at least two first-time champions in the four major sports leagues.  Here are the other years it has happened in the last 30 years:
-2018:  Philadelphia Eagles (NFL), Washington Capitals (NHL)
-2006:  Carolina Hurricanes (NHL), Miami Heat (NBA)
-2002:  Anaheim Angels (MLB), New England Patriots (NFL)
-2001:  Arizona Diamondbacks, Baltimore Ravens (NFL)
-1999:  Dallas Stars (NHL), San Antonio Spurs (NBA)
-1991:  Chicago Bulls (NBA), Pittsburgh Penguins (NHL)
-1989:  Calgary Flames (NHL), Detroit Pistons (NBA)

As I did two years ago after the Cavaliers won their first NBA title and last year after the Capitals won their first Stanley Cup, I'm going to take a look at the longest first-championship droughts in each of the four major sports leagues –- that is, the longest it has taken a franchise to win its first title since joining its league.  Here are a couple caveats and clarifications:

• I'm not counting AFL, ABA, or WHA championships.  
• I'll be starting a former ABA and WHA team's clock from the year it began playing in the NBA and NHL, respectively.  
• For former AFL teams, I'll be starting from the first Super Bowl season (1966-1967), even though the NFL and AFL didn't merge for another few years.  
• For the NBA, NFL, and NHL, I'm counting the year the season ended as the season, so for instance, Super Bowl XX was played after the 1985 season, but it was played in 1986, so that counts as 1986.  
• For MLB, I am counting 1903 as the first year possible, since that was the year the first World Series was played.  
• For the NHL, I am counting 1927 as the first year possible, since that was the year of the first official NHL playoffs and the year Lord Stanley's Cup became a permanent fixture in the NHL, although that really didn't come into play, since the Original Six all won titles pretty soon after 1927.  
• Since the NBA, NFL, and NHL seasons have ended this year, I've added another year to any current droughts, since obviously a team that hasn't won the title this year cannot win one until 2020.

I'm going to list the following:  (1) ten longest current droughts; (2) ten longest droughts for teams that actually won a championship; and (3) the combined list for each league.  With that, here you go:

Ten Longest Current Droughts for Teams Without Any Championship

1.  59 years
-Minnesota Vikings, NFL (1961-present)

2.  58 years
-Texas Rangers/Washington Senators, MLB (1961-present)
3 (tie).  53 years
-Atlanta Falcons, NFL (1967-present)
-Buffalo Bills, NFL (1967-present)
-San Diego Chargers, NFL (1967-present)
-Tennessee Titans/Houston Oilers, NFL (1967-present)
7.  51 years
-Cincinnati Bengals, NFL (1969-present)

-Phoenix Suns, NBA (1969-present)

-St. Louis Blues, NHL (1968-present)

10 (tie).  50 years
-Milwaukee Brewers/Seattle Pilots, MLB (1969-present)
-San Diego Padres, MLB (1969-present)
-Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos, MLB (1969-present)

Ten Longest All-Time Droughts For Franchises That Won a Championship (from founding to first championship)

1.  77 years
-Philadelphia Phillies, MLB (1903-1980)

2.  63 years
-Baltimore Orioles/St. Louis Browns, MLB (1903-1966)

3.  55 years
-Houston Astros/Houston Colt, MLB .45s (1962-2017)

4.  52 years
-Los Angeles Dodgers/Brooklyn Dodgers/Brooklyn Robins/Brooklyn Superbas, MLB (1903-1955)

5.  49 years
-Detroit Pistons/Ft. Wayne Pistons, NBA (1950-1989)
6.  45 years
-Cleveland Cavaliers, NBA (1971-2016)

7.  44 years
-Los Angeles Kings, NHL (1968-2012)

8.  43 years
-Washington Capitals, NHL (1975-2018)
9 (tie).  42 years
-Pittsburgh Steelers/Pittsburgh Pirates, NFL (1933-1975)
-New Orleans Saints, NFL (1968-2010)

MLB Overall

1.  77 years:  Philadelphia Phillies (1903-1980)

2.  63 years:  Baltimore Orioles/St. Louis Browns (1903-1966)

3.  58 years:  Texas Rangers/Washington Senators (1961-present)

4.  55 years:  Houston Astros/Houston Colt .45s (1962-2017)

5.  52 years:  Los Angeles Dodgers/Brooklyn Dodgers/Brooklyn Robins/Brooklyn Superbas (1903-1955)

6 (tie).  50 years:  San Diego Padres (1969-present); Milwaukee Brewers/Seattle Pilots (1969-present); Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos (1969-present)

9.  42 years:  Seattle Mariners (1977-present)

10.  41 years:  Los Angeles Angels/Anaheim Angels/California Angels (1961-2002)

NBA Overall

1.  51 years:  Phoenix Suns (1969-present)
2 (tie).  49 years:  Detroit Pistons/Ft. Wayne Pistons (1950-1989); Los Angeles Clippers/San Diego Clippers/Boston Braves (1971-present)

4 (tie).  45 years:  Cleveland Cavaliers (1971-2016); Utah Jazz/New Orleans Jazz (1975-present)

6 (tie).  42 years:  Brooklyn Nets/New Jersey Nets/New York Nets (1977-present)*; Denver Nuggets (1977-present); Indiana Pacers (1977-present)**

9 (tie).  30 years:  Dallas Mavericks (1981-2011); Minnesota Timberwolves (1990-present); Orlando Magic (1990-present)

*The Nets won ABA titles in 1974 and 1976 prior to joining the NBA

**The Pacers won ABA titles in 1970, 1972, and 1973 prior to joining the NBA

NFL Overall

1.  59 years:  Minnesota Vikings (1961-present)

2 (tie).  53 years:  Atlanta Falcons (1967-present); Buffalo Bills (1967-present)*; San Diego Chargers (1967-present)**; Tennessee Titans/Houston Oilers (1967-present)***

6.  51 years:  Cincinnati Bengals (1969-present)

7 (tie).  42 years:  Pittsburgh Steelers/Pittsburgh Pirates (1933-1975); New Orleans Saints 1968-2010)

9.  37 years:  Seattle Seahawks (1977-2014)

10.  36 years:  San Francisco 49ers (1946-1982)

*The Bills won AFL titles in 1964 and 1965 prior to joining the NFL

**The Chargers won the AFL title in 1963 prior to joining the NFL

***The Oilers won AFL titles in 1960 and 1961 prior to joining the NFL

NHL Overall

1.  51 years:  St. Louis Blues (1968-present)

2 (tie).  49 years:  Buffalo Sabres (1971-present); Vancouver Canucks (1971-present)

4.  44 years:  Los Angeles Kings (1968-2012)

5.  43 years:  Washington Capitals (1975-2018)

6.  40 years:  Arizona Coyotes/Phoenix Coyotes/Winnipeg Jets (1980-present)*

7.  31 years:  Dallas Stars/Minnesota North Stars (1968-1999)

8.  28 years:  San Jose Sharks (1992-present)
9.  27 years:  Ottawa Senators (1993-present)
10.  26 years:  Carolina Hurricanes/Hartford Whalers (1980-2006)**

*The Jets won WHA titles in 1976, 1978, and 1979 prior to joining the NHL

**The Whalers won a WHA title in 1973 prior to joining the NHL

Hair Band Friday - 6/7/19

1.  "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC


2.  "Jelly Roll" by Blue Murder


3.  "Push Push" by Cinderella


4.  "Breakout" by Bon Jovi


5.  "Heaven Sent" by Dokken


6.  "Not For The Innocent" by KISS


7.  "Rocket Queen" (live) by Guns N' Roses


8.  "Play Rough" by Trixter


9.  "Rain" by Lynch Mob


10.  "Gimme' No Lip" by Dangerous Toys

Retro Video of the Week: "I Ran (So Far Away)" by A Flock of Seagulls

Thanks to work, kids, and, ugh, peyote (right, parents?!), I have been so swamped that I didn't have time for a Tuesday Top Ten yesterday. Tonight, I had a brewery run at Goose Island, so I can't think of a more appropriate song than "I Ran (So Far Away)" by A Flock of Seagulls.  Never before had a man with such weird hair sung a song about a man meeting a chick who's too hot for him, so he's not sure how to act, but then he sees Aurora Borealis, just before both of them are abducted by aliens.  It's a pretty obvious metaphor for post-Crimean War Russian imperialism -- and it's also pretty much exactly what happened to me tonight after I had the Bourbon County Coffee Barleywine.