Happy Monday

This weekend, I mixed linguini with clam sauce and Jameson. The results were disastrous. I also purchased William Hung: Hangin' With Hung at Salvation Army for $1.06. That was a markedly better decision than what I am now calling Irish Clams. Tonight, I'm watching Elmo Saves Christmas because that's apparently what you do on Monday nights in April when a 16-month-old rules your existence. Moral: Christmas everyday is a bad idea. It's taken that fucking puppet 46 minutes to realize that, even though numerous people -- including Santa (although I guess he's more demigod than human) -- have been telling him that all along. After this debacle gets sorted out, I'm heading to the Bulls game, hoping that they can contain or concuss Psycho T. Tomorrow, I'm going away for several days for my annual journey to Colombia for 4/20, so please don't be alarmed when I don't post anything until Thursday or Friday.