Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Tuesday Top Ten: Lessons Learned From Throwing a '90s College Party

This past weekend, Jester and I threw our second '90s college party.  I'm sure you can get the gist of it, but in case you're a millennial or something, let me explain.  We had a house party, like those thrown in college, starting in the later afternoon and going until the wee hours of the night.  Because we did not have any known children in college, we shipped ours off to grandma's for the night, and had a no-kid rule at the party.  Only light or ice beers were acceptable beers to drink, and there was no wine allowed unless it was in a box or said "Boone's Farm" on the side of it.  I made a few gallons of Everclear punch for good measure.  Drinking games were played.  A magnificent playlist of '90s music blared, featuring music throughout the decade, from new jack swing and the end of the hair band era all the way through rap metal and the dawn of boy bands.  Some people wore some '90s gear (although it was not a costume party).  Good times were had by all.

Here's what I learned, in no particular order:

1.  I'm glad I didn't actually have this hairstyle in the '90s because I look ridiculous.  Then again, that was how people looked back then.

2.  Drakkar Noir and Abercrombie Woods are still very potent.  And yes, I still have all of these.  And yes, I put them out for people to wear.  And yes, it smelled like a high school prom circa 1996.

3.  Everclear punch is still very potent, but people will likely only have one cup because it makes your teeth and lips red, so there is no need to make three gallons.

4.  If you have several coolers and tubs with cans of Natty Light, Natty Ice, Red Dog, Ice House, Keystone Light, PBR, Beast, Beast Light, Beast Ice, Busch Light, Busch Heavy, and Special Export, you probably don't need a full keg of Bud Light.

5.  Purchasing a second foldable table in order to double your flip cup capacity is always a good decision because 10 on 10 flip cup is better in every way than 5 on 5 flip cup.  Also, playing flip cup in a garage is awesome.  Also, in general, boys are still better than girls at flip cup, based on the results from the evening.  Take that, Lilith Fair.

6.  An ice luge is a wonderful addition to any party, even if your friends later play "Titanic" with the shattered chunks of the luge and end up breaking your kids' plastic push car.

7.  If you tell people not to bring wine unless it says "Boone's Farm" on the label, this might happen:

8.  Choker necklaces should never have gone out of style.

9.  As a 20-year-old, if I went to bed at 3:30 a.m., I would have woken up sometime between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. feeling refreshed and ready to do it again.  As a 38-year-old, if I go to bed at 3:30 a.m., I will wake at 9:30 a.m. because it feels like a gnome is standing on my head and beating my temples with a ballpeen hammer.

10.  If you put out a platter of Parliaments, Gen Xers will go ape shit.  Seriously, I saw people who I've never seen smoke before smoke multiple cigarettes over the course of the night.  We went through five packs.

11.  We will be doing this every year because not a single person had a bad time.  Feel free to use all of the above advice to throw your own party of the century -- well, last century, anyway.

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