Tuesday, December 14, 2010

My German Irish American Shorthaired Golden Eskimo Setrievointermatian

As you may know, we really have no idea what kind of dog we own. The people at the rescue where we got her said the only thing they knew for sure is that her mother was part dachshund. She barks like a hound, and looks like some sort of hound puppy. Every loudmouthed saluki owner is convinced she's part saluki. Most vets think she's probably part whippet.

I was on an aeroplane a few months ago, perusing the Sky Mall catalog, when I came across an interesting entry in the Hammacher-Schlemmer section: a dog breed DNA test through some company named BioPet Vet Lab. They have a website and everything.

This seemed like a great Christmas gift for Jester, since she pretty much asks me every day "so what in holy hell do you think Harley is?" I kept it in my back pocket (literally) until a few weeks ago, when I ordered the test. The test box came, and I followed the directions, rubbing the swabs on the inside of both of Harley's cheeks, much to her horror. I sent the swabs in and eagerly awaited the results. Since Jester usually gets home from work before I do and gets the mail, my hope was that the results would not come in an envelope that said "DNA Breed Identification Results Enclosed." My dreams were shattered yesterday when I returned home from work and Jester asked me if I had gotten a DNA test for Harley, handing me an envelope with the very same phrase I had hoped would not be on it. I confessed and told her it was one of her Christmas presents, and she said she wanted to open it now. Whatever, it's only Christ's birthday, but if you want to piss all over it, be my guest.

The results were appalling. This might have been the biggest waste of $60 since I cornered the market on Animaniacs pogs.

Here are some pictures of my dog:
Here are the results of the DNA test and pictures of the dog breeds that supposedly comprise my dog. I am fairly confident that no part of Harley consists of any of these breeds.

American Eskimo Dog (20-36% of DNA)
Dalmation (20-36% of DNA)
Irish Setter (20-36% of DNA)
German Shorthaired Pointer (10-19% of DNA)
Golden Retriver (10-19% of DNA)

How 'bout no!

1 comment:

Shahbaz said...

DNA testing by way of oral swabs is by far the standard procedure of sample collection as it's really quick to perform; nevertheless DNA tests, such as paternity testing.

DNA Tests