I have been stockpiling. Enjoy.
773: Just want to let you know that according to my phone you have a WiFi network in your hood called "fuckingandpunching"
708: Dude. Literally hitting on Brian Urlachers ex wife. I think I may creature her.
646: Do they even know you're gay?
937: I think you have the wrong number
949: W ur beautiful bride. Am trying to convince her to have cee cee devilles next child. Hope this is copisetic
937: Of course it is
949: Nice. Can make the love child have a tribute band called every Derrick rose has a thorn
937: Or a cooking show called Nothing But a Good Thyme
949: What about talk Goethe to me
847: Just saw my cat has a pink sock.... Must have been a huge shit!
773: Bob guccione died. conceivably this means his son longer has to be pissed off because his dad gets more pussy than him
773: Just thought you should know that Gwar is on Jimmy Fallon tonight
937: If purdue and indiana pull off incredible upsets today and a big windstorm kills everyone at notre dame, would this be the greatest day ever in the history of football in the state of indiana?
310: Every time I hear Pour Some Sugar On Me on the 'classic rock' station, its worse than finding a gray ball-hair.
937 (1): I just texted gordon gee and told him to shut the fuck up
937 (2): Good call. That was a weird thing to say out of nowhere.
937 (1): Especially from a guy who knows nothing about football and who would prefer that colleges have no athletics at all. he should stick to watching Glee
937 (1): When did the jumping up and hitting hips become popular for male athletes after making a good play?
937 (2): Right after jersey popping went away
937 (1): I'd prefer they take a dump and grunt rather than do this gay stuff.
As I said in the initial Thursday Texts post, I invite you to email hilarious texts that you send or receive to email@example.com, and I will post them accordingly. All texts will be anonymous, identified only by their area code. Or, I also strongly encourage people to post texts as comments to the Thursday Text posts. I will not approve any comments that contain last names. I love you all.