Tuesday Top Ten: Favorite Quotes from Tombstone

I meant to post this last night, but I went to the Sox game, which went to extra innings, which meant that when I got home, I just went straight to bed. Anyway, here you go.

Saturday afternoon, I was home with Daughter. She sleeps every afternoon for a couple hours, which is nice because it gives me time to work on my scrapbooks. Jester was at her dojo, teaching bōjutsu to the blind, as she does every Saturday afternoon. I was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch while working on my Tribute to Animal Hoarders scrapbook, when I came across Tombstone on AMC. Tombstone is one of my favorite movies from the '90s. It's one of those movies that I can watch at any time and never get sick of it. What a great flick, with a star-studded cast. Kurt Russell as the ultimate badass lawman, Wyatt Earp. Val Kilmer in his greatest performance ever (apologies to Real Genius) as Doc Holliday. Sam Elliott as Wyatt's mustachioed older brother, Virgil. Bill Paxton as Wyatt's nonpolygamist younger brother, Morgan. The chick from Fletch as Wyatt's wife. Dana Delany as the chick Wyatt wants to bang and order room service with. Powers Boothe as the fantastic asshole, Curly Bill. Micheal Biehn as another fantastic asshole, Johnny Ringo. Jason Priestley as the wannabe hardass deputy who has the hots for Billy Zane, who plays a teen idol type traveling actor named Mr. Fabian. Thomas Haden Church as Billy Clanton. And of course there are the minor roles: Billy Bob Thornton as a faro dealer (presumably also the town alcoholic Santa and/or murderous retard), Michael Rooker as McMasters (presumably a serial killer who hates stink palms), John Corbett as one of the Cowboys Wyatt wastes near the river (presumably after his time banging Carrie), Frank Stallone as Ed Bailey (who presumably moved back to Bedford Falls after ), Charleton Heston as Henry Hooker (presumably a pimp), and Robert Mitchum as the narrator.

More than anything, though, Tombstone is a movie of great quotes. There are so many fantastic lines in the movie. It's tough to narrow them down to my favorite ten, but that was my task at hand, so I did. Here they are:

10. Doc: "Why Kate, you're not wearing a bustle. How lewd."

9. Ike Clanton: "What is that now? Twelve hands in a row? Holliday, son of a bitch, nobody's that lucky."
Doc: "Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game, Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!"

8. Wyatt, to Ike Clanton after shooting Ike's friend: "You called down the thunder, well now you've got it!"

7. Wyatt, after slapping a man in the mouth several times: "You gonna do somethin' or just stand there and bleed?"

6. Doc: "I have not yet begun to defile myself."

5. Wyatt, to a fleeing Ike Clanton: "You tell 'em I'm comin'. And hell's comin' with me, you hear?! Hell's comin' with me!"

4. Doc, to his lady friend Kate: "It's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist."

3. Doc: "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds."

2. Doc: "You know damn well who. That dusky-hued lady Satan."

1. Wyatt, holding a gun to Ike Clanton's head while Clanton's gang points their guns at Wyatt: "Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me?"