I was too busy to post a Tuesday Top Ten yesterday, due to work, parenting, couch sitting, and, of course, presiding over the sacrificing of three goats and a gypsy virgin to Pomona, as I do every autumnal equinox eve in my backyard.
But alas, the day's delay has provided an opportunity for a great Tuesday Top Ten. This morning, Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra died at the ripe old age of 90. In addition to being a 3-time MVP, 18-time All-Star, and 10-time World Series champion (which I don't think will ever be matched), Yogi was perhaps best known for his "Yogi-isms" -- funny comments or sentences often plagued by contradictions, malapropisms, and tautologies. For instance, "It ain't over 'til it's over" was coined by Berra when he coached for the 1969 Mets, who rallied from nearly ten games back in July to win the NL pennant by 8 games over the extremely cursed Cubs, and "It's deja vu all over again" came after witnessing Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris hit back-to-back home runs multiple times.
Here are my ten favorite "Yogi-isms," in no particular order:
1. "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
2. "You can observe a lot just by watching."
3. "He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."
4. When asked whether some streakers on the field were men or women: "I don't know. They had bags over their heads."
5. "Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."
6. "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
7. "Always go to other people's funerals. Otherwise, they won't go to yours."
8. "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
9. "If the people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them."
10. "I never said most of the things I said."