Bad tattoo guy at bar: "I know it sounds weird but I'm addicted to Claritin D. I started about 3 months ago and I can't go 2 hours without one."
--San Clemente, CA
Eavesdropper: Tail Pipe
Thirtysomething female: "My anal system isn't working anymore."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Tron
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