Tuesday Top Ten: Who You Should Vote For Instead of Donald Trump

You know I try to keep things relatively apolitical on this here blog, since I have friends and readers on all sides of the political spectrum.  However, today is Election Day in America, and it is my civic duty to give you voting options for the presidential race other than Donald Trump. 

I'm not sure if you know this -– apparently over 40% of Americans don't –- but Donald Trump is the least qualified major party presidential candidate in 76 years and probably ever.  Not only does he have no governmental or leadership experience, but then man is a walking disaster.  He has shown time after time that he does not have the tact or temperament to be President, and, worse yet, he has no desire to change or accept any viewpoints other than his own.  His speeches and soundbites suggest that, not only is he a lying, sociopathic womanizer who cares only about himself, but he has no respect for the U.S. Constitution or the democratic process that defines our country. 

If any other presidential candidate said the things that he has said, they would be committing political suicide.  Yet, somehow, the racist, xenophobic, and misogynistic underbelly of our society has passed it off as "talking straight" or "locker room talk."  Fuck all that.  This man is a threat to our country.  You cannot, in good conscience, vote for him.

There's a lot of "lesser of two evils" talk, and I'm not suggesting Hillary Clinton is a saint, but if you consider her to be one of the evils, she is by far the lesser of the two evils.  Someone described it as choosing between cancer and a stubbed toe.  You don't want either, but a stubbed toe will heal, and you'll be okay in the long run.  If cancer doesn't kill you, at the very least, it will involve a long, painful, and expensive recovery that will leave you in a much worse position than you were in before the cancer.  Don't choose cancer, people.

With that in mind, here are some people you should vote for other than Donald Trump.  I realize some of these will require a write-in, and that may not be an option where you live, as some states require write-in candidates to register as such (which seems to defeat the whole purpose of a write-in candidate) and other states require write-in candidates to be alive.  However, if you can't write someone in, you can always default to #1.

10.  Evan McMullin.  Mormons are people too, you know.

9.  Jimmy McMillan.  The rent is still too damn high.

8.  James Buchanan.  Sure, he is consistently ranked as one of the worst presidents in U.S. history and has been dead for 148 years, but he still has another term of eligibility left and even he would be better than Trump.

7.  Chris Rock.  Just watch Head of State, and tell me I'm wrong.

6.  Gary Johnson.  Libertarians steal votes from Republicans.

5.  Leslie Jones.  Tell me she wouldn't get shit done.

4.  Jon Stewart.  He's funny.

3.  William Jennings Bryan.  It's finally his time.

2.  Lionel Richie.  Because it's impossible to hate Lionel Richie.

1. Hillary Clinton.  After all, she is arguably the most qualified non-incumbent presidential candidate we've seen in a while.  Sadly, if a man had the same qualifications and history of public service that she did, he would probably beat Trump by 40 percentage points.

No matter who you support, I sincerely hope you vote if you haven't already.  Participate in this wonderful thing we call democracy (well, a constitutional republic, actually) because there are far too many places around the world that don't have this opportunity.  Most importantly, if you don't exercise your right to vote, you have no right to complain.  Please don't fuck this up, America.