Jester took Daughter home for the weekend, and, as they say, when the cat is away, the mice will act like they are still 22. Friday night, I got home after work, housed a couple pepperoni pizza Lean Pockets (gotta watch the waistline), took Harley on a walk, watched Harley expel waste on some yuppie family's lawn, then headed out to meet Australian Andrew at Boss Bar down in the north Loop. I haven't been there in a long time. We played some pool, laughed about the d-bags wearing sunglasses inside and playing dance music on the jukebox, and rejoiced when "Master of Puppets" came on the jukebox.
Around 1:30, Australian Andrew headed home due to some issues his liver and kidneys were having processing ethyl alcohol. I wasn't done, though, so I did what anyone does at 1:30 a.m. on a Friday night. I texted Gregerson and told him to meet me at Raven's. It was agreed to without argument. There, we played that shuffleboard bowling game, which I am now convinced serves no purpose. We counseled a young couple about the move from Atlanta to Chicago, or something like that. My mind began to wander.
Saturday was a monumental day in my life. In addition to being a very bitter man, my friend Ryan has a special ladyfriend whose family owns a beef farm in one of the flyover states between Indiana and Pennsylvania. Ten of us decided to purchase half a cow, get it butchered and processed, and then hold a draft to determine who got which cuts.
If you're wondering what a half a cow looks like, here it is:
And yes, I bought a chest freezer just for this.Here's what we had to choose from:
2 packages of two Boston strips
1 flank steak
5 packages of two New York strips, and one single
4 packages of two ribeyes, and one single
3 packages of sirloin tip steak, and one single1 skirt steak
2 packages of two tenderloin steaks
4 arm roasts
10 blade roasts
1 flat-end brisket
1 point-end brisket
2 English roasts
3 rump roasts
1 tenderloin roast8 1-pound packages of ground beef
8 packages of 6 1/3 pound hamburger patties
7 two pound packages of hotdogs and 1 one-pound package
1 oxtail
1 neck bone
2 short rib
6 soup bones
2 stew meat
2 packages of two Boston strips
1 flank steak
5 packages of two New York strips, and one single
4 packages of two ribeyes, and one single
3 packages of sirloin tip steak, and one single1 skirt steak
2 packages of two tenderloin steaks
4 arm roasts
10 blade roasts
1 flat-end brisket
1 point-end brisket
2 English roasts
3 rump roasts
1 tenderloin roast8 1-pound packages of ground beef
8 packages of 6 1/3 pound hamburger patties
7 two pound packages of hotdogs and 1 one-pound package
1 oxtail
1 neck bone
2 short rib
6 soup bones
2 stew meat
In addition, we each got four pounds of hot dogs and five pounds of ground beef, and those of us with dogs got a few marrow bones.
The tenderloin roast went first, which wasn't too much of a shocker. The NY strips and ribeyes went pretty quickly too. In the surprise pick of the draft, The Brothers Weeser* (minus Greg and Tim) took the oxtail in the second round. Both Kiper and McShay had the oxtail going somewhere closer to the fifth of six round, but Dan felt there was enough upside to risk it. He then took the neck bone in the third round, which most of us applauded.
In the carnivorous spirit of the day, Scott made the Bacon Explosion, pictured below. Yes, that's weaved bacon covering ground pork sausage covering more bacon.
It was just as good as it looks.
I drew the third pick. Here are my picks:
1. Tenderloin steak
2. NY strip
3. Sirloin tip steak
4. Hamburger patties
5. Stew meat
6. Blade roast
7. Ground beef
8. Soup bone
Today, I received an email from Men's Health with the subject "6 Steps to a Six-Pack." Safely assuming all six steps include the consumption of beef, I deleting it without reading it.
Next year, there is talk about going with a full cow. I wholeheartedly support this because, if I get the first pick, I'm going with the skull. I can buy a steak anywhere. There is also talk about adding a pig to the mix. I don't see why not.
As if things couldn't get any better, when I got home from work, waiting for me in the mailbox was this month's issue of Redbook. Our postal carrier is either illiterate or lazy (or both), so I often receive other people's mail. You can imagine my surprise when I saw my name on the address label. There's a family of well-dressed Armenian women on the cover. The end of days is near.
The tenderloin roast went first, which wasn't too much of a shocker. The NY strips and ribeyes went pretty quickly too. In the surprise pick of the draft, The Brothers Weeser* (minus Greg and Tim) took the oxtail in the second round. Both Kiper and McShay had the oxtail going somewhere closer to the fifth of six round, but Dan felt there was enough upside to risk it. He then took the neck bone in the third round, which most of us applauded.
In the carnivorous spirit of the day, Scott made the Bacon Explosion, pictured below. Yes, that's weaved bacon covering ground pork sausage covering more bacon.
It was just as good as it looks.I drew the third pick. Here are my picks:
1. Tenderloin steak
2. NY strip
3. Sirloin tip steak
4. Hamburger patties
5. Stew meat
6. Blade roast
7. Ground beef
8. Soup bone
Today, I received an email from Men's Health with the subject "6 Steps to a Six-Pack." Safely assuming all six steps include the consumption of beef, I deleting it without reading it.
Next year, there is talk about going with a full cow. I wholeheartedly support this because, if I get the first pick, I'm going with the skull. I can buy a steak anywhere. There is also talk about adding a pig to the mix. I don't see why not.
As if things couldn't get any better, when I got home from work, waiting for me in the mailbox was this month's issue of Redbook. Our postal carrier is either illiterate or lazy (or both), so I often receive other people's mail. You can imagine my surprise when I saw my name on the address label. There's a family of well-dressed Armenian women on the cover. The end of days is near.
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