Midwestern Eavesdropping - 5/26/11

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "Let's hope I don't have thrush-yeast infection of the mouth."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething guy: "Last time I was on a rooftop, I chugged a bottle of syrup."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething pipe fitter: "We can either use an online dick or one of ours."
--Amtrak Hiawatha train, somewhere in Illinois
Eavesdropper: The Floppy Burrito

Angry twentysomething patron leaving bar as "Laid" by James (which came out in 1993) played: "I mean, how did people have sex in the 80s with that music?! Seriously?!!"
--Los Angeles, Phoenix Club
Eavesdropper: The Weez

Thirtysomething married woman: "I've done some really, really crazy things in Tijuana. And I was 16!"
--Naperville, IL, Houlihan's
Eavesdropper: Matthew Spring

Twentysomething kindergarten teacher: "I hate kids. I hate their laughter, I hate everything about them."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Chick crossing busy street by herself yelling: "I love cocaine! I wish I was on it right now!"
--Chicago, Sheffield & Belmont
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething fourth grade teacher: "Grey's Anatomy...that's not real. Have you ever seen Twister? Now that's real."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething male talking about hipster with terrible mustache: "Yeah, my pubic hair's ironic."
--Chicago, Schuba's, Belmont & Racine
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Female #1: "Why is your computer going to crash?"
Female #2 (referring to cat-loving man): "Because he was probably watching kitty porn on it."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Email from 30-something lawyer after several hours of drinking: "My brain is monkeys."
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Former 30 and 8 winner: "I can drink 15 beers and still drive a bus full of people."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething Korean woman on the sidewalk talking about Asians: "I gotta be quiet. There's a pack of 'em walking towards us right now."
--Chicago, Clark & Hubbard
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female referring to a Biggest Loser contestant: "Her face looks like a vagina."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thanks to everyone who contributed. As always, when you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.