My Way, Your Way, Anything Goes Tonight

On the eve of yet another Hair Band Friday, I want to share an awesome dream I had last night.  In the dream, I was living at the house I grew up in, although I apparently owned it, was single, lived there by myself, and it was in or around Los Angeles.  My neighbor in back of me was Slash.  It was Halloween morning (a Saturday, no less), and I went to an upstairs bedroom window facing Slash's house.  He was passed out, lying naked on his back porch, just outside his back door.  It was clear to me in the dream that he had tried to make it home after a night of boozing, but fell just short.  It was unclear to me why or how he lost his clothes.  I opened the window and yelled to him, since we were obviously buddies.  He woke up, stood up, but his top hat over his crotch, had a good laugh, and then we talked about our plans for that day/night.  I was going to dress up as Slash (which, as you may recall, I've done before with disastrous results for my liver), and Slash was going to dress up as Axl.  We were going to take a limo to the Rainbow early in the day to have some lunch and drinks with some strippers, and then we would be staying on the Sunset Strip the rest of the day/night, doing a little bar crawl.  In my head in the dream, I was thinking, "Damn, that's gonna be a lot of drinking.  I gotta make sure I don't overdo it early."  Why?  Because the plan was to end the night singing live band karaoke at The Roxy.  Slash was going to pretend to be Axl, then grab a guitar and reveal that he was, in fact, Slash.  Meanwhile, I would be singing as Slash, so there would be two Slashes on stage.  It was a ruse that couldn't fail.  After that, we would walk downtown (which is several miles, mind you) and catch a bus outside the fictitious building where I allegedly worked.  I figured that I would have to stay in costume just in case I ran into anyone from work, so they wouldn't recognize me.  After we hatched this plan -- me in my second-story window, fully clothed, and Slash in his backyard completely naked, save for a hat that covered his dong, but not his billowing crotch hair -- Slash said that the limo was picking us up at 11, so we only had a couple hours to get into costume.  It was go time.  I had to dig my Slash costume out and make sure I had a good '70s rock t-shirt with the sleeves and neck cut out to wear under my cut-off jean jacket.  The precious wailing of a four-month-old prevented me from doing so, and it was one of those moments where, not only did I want the dream to keep going, but I also wanted the dream to be real, even though I know Slash has had substance abuse problems.  So Slash, if you're reading this -- and I assume you are -- shoot me an email and let's make some Halloween plans.  Just please promise you'll keep your pants on.