Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Tuesday Top Ten: Favorite Swears

Whether you call it swearing, cursing, or cussing, saying bad words is often cathartic and rewarding.  On the other hand, it can get you in trouble with some folk.  Myself, I enjoy the shit out of swearing, and it turns out, that's a good thing, as people who swear a lot tend to be more trustworthy and loyal.  With that, here are my top ten favorite swear words, with examples of each used in a motherfucking sentence.

10.  Ass
"The doctor said I need to lance the boil on my ass, but I was all 'I bet you'd like that, chode.'"

9.  Cunt whore
"My friend's ex-girlfriend has been described by his wife as a 'cunt whore,' you know, because she is, in fact, a cunt whore."

8.  Chode
"If you continue this line of questioning, you will leave me no choice but to demand that you lick my motherfucking chode."

7.  Dickhead
"Cary Elwes looks like a dickhead, but he's actually a pretty nice guy."

6.  Bitch
"If that's how it's gonna be, then let's play some fucking bocce, bitch."

5.  Asshole
"That asshole just took the last curly fry.  I should mention that we're at Arby's."

4.  Cunt
"Hi, cunt -- I mean, grandma."

3.  Motherfucker
"Last time I saw that motherfucker, he was all shit-faced, singing 'Call Me Maybe' at karaoke with that narcoleptic chick named Heidi, right after she got all those spider bites on her tits."

2.  Shit
"I accidentally shit all over your bathtub again, and by 'accidentally,' I mean 'repeatedly,' and by 'over your bathtub,' I mean 'in all of your pillows.'" 

1.  Fuck
"Fuck Purdue."

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