The Fortnight of Andrew has taken a dizzying downward spiral within the past few days. Tuesday morning the wireless internet that I have been mooching for the past 6 months went out on me, failing to return until 12:30pm today. For those wondering, there are not enough submissions to merit a Midwestern Eavesdropping, so that will have to wait until next Thursday.
To make matters worse, several of us headed to Rocks Tuesday night to play some trivia. With awesome questions in the first two rounds such as "What gun manufacturer makes the MP5 machine gun?", Two Os in Goose put itself in an insurmountable hole. Having pretty much bombed in the first couple rounds, our blinding comeback in the next 4 rounds was all for not. Thus, we did not get 25% off of our bill.
After the loss I was on edge and visibly distracted, yet I agreed to play Silver Strike Bowling with Gregerson because I pretty owned him for the past 2 weeks. I never should have rolled the first ball. Over the next hour and a half I proceeded to give back to Greg over 1/3 of the money I've won from him while bowling the previous 2 weeks. It was sickening how off I was. I don't know if it was the steroids or what, but I spent a good deal of the time inexplicably rolling the ball directly into the gutter.
On the walk home, I stripped down to my boxers, killed a squirrel with my bare hands, and threw it onto the roof of a nearby three-story single-family home.
Yesterday I pretty much lied on the couch in the fetal position (naked), bawling my eyes out, smoking opium, urinating into a half-full gallon of milk, and watching Cheaters on mute while listening to old Tiny Tim records. When Jessie got home, I put some clothes on, and we went to Piece (along with a bitter 26-year-old male, who has still not yet experienced a threesome with two willing DePaul coeds) for some pizza and dunkel weizen. This lifted my spirits immeasurably, prompting me to invite Jessie to join me for a TV-watching session back at our apartment, followed by non-REM and REM sleep. She said yes!
Currently I'm watching the "Tailwind Turner"/"Combustable Huxtable" episode of The Cosby Show while challenging myself to a 4x400 relay race.
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