It's been a while since the last Midwestern Eavesdropping, and frankly, our collective eavesdropping skill is a bit rusty. I think we all need to really focus on putting our noses (and ears) in other people's business this week. Anyway, here you go:
29-year-old male, discussing a particularly large shit he had taken eariler in the day: "It was tickling my ass."
--Cincinnati, some bar
Eavesdropper: Tron
After discussing how "tight" it would be if they had a Taco Bell next to the Pizza Hut at a Target:
Filthy Stoner: "What can you get for a $15 at iTunes?"
Filthier Mustachioed Stoner: "I don't know. Maybe a CD, then kill yourself for being dumb?"
Filthy Stoner: "Or maybe like 2 songs?"
(if you don't know that songs are only $0.99 on iTunes, you shouldn't be reading this).
As they were walking away (a good 5-10 minutes after the initial Pizza Hut conversation): "Dude, why do they call it Pizza Hut? Is it because it was started by some guy selling pizza out of a hut?"
--Chicago, Target, Logan & Elston
Eavesdroppers: RDC, KM
Apparent male at stoplight discussing his Harley with stranger who is also riding a Harley: "The best price the dealer will give a transvestite for this bike is $14,346."
--Chicago, in a dream
Eavesdropper: GMYH (this was good enough that I tried to write it down in my dream, which was tough because I was riding a motorcycle)
29-year-old male: "So, how about them Pistons?" (after admitting that he enjoyed Brokeback Mountain)
--Cincinnati, some bar
Eavesdropper: Tron
Two professional women standing around talking, and one woman says to the other: "I'm kind of worried about my dog. He'd keep eating until he killed himself."
--Chicago, Lake & LaSalle
Eavesdropper: Trashton*
*Trashton submitted this eavesdropping with a caveat that the reason he found it so funny because he "just picture[d] a dog eating, and eating until the point that its life actually ends and it drops."
Unkempt Businessman: "Are you saying you don't like my 'stache?"
Lady Friend: "No. It's nauseating."
Unkempt Businessman: "But... you realize that now there can be moustache rides. Fifteen cents."
Lady Friend: "At least I'm getting something out of the deal."
Unkempt Businessman: "Oh, you're getting something, that's for sure."
--Chicago, FlatTop Grill, Wells & North
Eavesdropper: RobD
28-year-old married Canadian-American male during a night away from the wife: "I just did a shot with some girl . . . and didn't use a ticket!"
--Cincinnati, some bar
Eavesdropper: Tron
In case you forgot, whenever you overhear something hilarious -- whether you're in the Midwest, a Midwesterner on vacation, or a former Midwesterner who now lives elsewhere -- email what you hear (along with the location and an Eavesdropper nickname) to gmyhblog@yahoo.com. People say stupid things. Be there to ensure it makes its way to the internet.
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