It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Wurst of Times, Bonus Feature: Bavarian Eavesdropping

During our week in Munich, the combination of beer and being surrounded by Germans and German shit made for some good eavesdropping. Rather than conform to the anonymous strictures of Midwestern Eavesdropping, Bavarian Eavesdropping will just come right out and tell you who said what.

Jester at the Augustiner (upon seeing some roses): "I don't want any, but if I was a horse and I won a race I would want all of them."

Drunk Virginia Tech guy at Augustiner, discussing the Hofbrauhaus with other Americans: "Yeah, it's over by the church. It's like this big beer hall, and everyone gets drunk."

Kyla: "What's your name?"
Norwegian man: "Toto."
Kyla: "Wait, that's your name?"
Norwegian: "I'm not a fucking monkey."

Kyla at Oktoberfest: "I'll give you a shot of penis."

Liz: "I wish I knew what 'give it to me' in German was."

Sarah, discussing waitress's bosom at Braurosl tent: "Those are the most impressive things I've seen this trip."

Kyla: "We want to have fun; we want to show you our boobs."

Liz: "I never knew what guilt was until I had it."

Ari, walking down main promenade near Marienplatz: "Act like you're German. Act like you hate me or want to shoot me or hang me by my wrists."

Jester: "I'm built like a 14 year old boy and I'll take it."

Toto: "In the shower, you must bend over."

Kyla, discussing out waiter Gunther at the Augustiner tent: "He has a wealth of knowledge. We need to tap that."

Leslie: "I don't think I can fit that much in my dirndl."

Kyla: "If meat were fruit I could order whatever I wanted."

Jer, about Brazilians and AIDS: "They may not have started it, but they spread the shit out of it."

Kyla: "It's so sour."
Someone: "What's so sour?"
Kyla: "Sauerkraut."

Sarah, discussing Christmas: "There's Scrooge and then there's me."

Kyla, after discussing the fact that she had sex twice: "Man, I gotta stretch my legs. My butt's sore."

Kyla: "We should have a shart-off."

Kyla: "Wait, don't the Germans make chocolate? Is Fannie Mae German? (several seconds later) Feels like vagina."

GMYH, when asked if he would care if Christoff were to have sex with GMYH's eldest sister-in-law: "I wouldn't care if Christoff fucked her. It's not my pussy."

Kyla: "Am I gonna be that girl like on Flavor Flav who shits herself onstage. I've been close."

Kyla (discussing dirndls): "I'm gonna give Alex some dirndl head once I get on."

Gregerson: "My piss has a head on it."

Kyla: "My passport was in my back pocket, and it's wet from me sweating last night."

Sarah, with Chandler bouncing her on his knee: "You felt like my mother there for a second."