Thursday, November 19, 2009

Midwestern Eavesdropping - 11/19/09

A guy dressed as Marty McFly at a Halloween party: "We're going back to the future."Some other guy: "8.8 gigawatts!"
--Chicago, Webster & Bissell
Eavesdropper: GMYH

TV commercial: "Black is the new taco."
Woman who gave birth less than a week before: "My taco feels black."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething female, upon entering apartment she had never been to before: "It smells like flowers and gummy bears."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething female walking with friend: "I thought he was finally cured but then I put a sweatshirt on one night and I was like...why is this wet?"
--Chicago, Wacker & Washington
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething female: "I totally had my face buried in her fur."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Fortysomething federal employee: "How do you keep your kids so quiet?"
Mangy, yet sincere, thirtysomething man within earshot of his children: "I beat them."--Indianapolis
Eavesdropper: Messy

Drunk guy at bar, referring to Kenny Rogers: "The man could make chicken and sing ballads."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: GMYH

In a group of old people, an overly-excited old lady to her husband in a "Jerry Seinfeld's mom" -esque voice: "I bought us some nuts and dried berries. We can make trail mix!"
--Beijing, airport
Eavesdropper: Yehday

Chick talking on cell phone: "Have I ever told you the story of my teeth?"
--Chicago, State & Hubbard
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Discussion regarding a friend's engagement:
Guy 1: "Is she cute?"
Guy 2: "Well--I mean, yes. She is attractive, in the basic sense of the world. She's a little unorthodox."
Guy 1: "What does that mean? Short hair? Too tall? Pale?"
Guy 2: "Well..."
Guy 3: "The main issue is that she only has one hand."
--Chicago, State & Schiller
Eavesdropper: RobD

Thirtysomething female watching college basketball game, after saying she thought dark-skinned African-American college basketball player was handsome: "I don't like milky. I like dark and shiny."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thanks to all who contributed. As always, if you overhear something hilarious, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.

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