Here is the story, in its entirety:
A worker at Arlington Park racetrack has been arrested and charged with having sexual contact with a horse.
Authorities said Esbin Dionel Cal-Orozco, 28, an itinerant stable hand at the track, was charged in Rolling Meadows branch court with the class 4 felony. He appeared in court today, where his bond was set at $25,000.
Cal-Orozco was stopped by track security guards early Monday morning following a disturbance at one of the stables involving a female horse named Buzz My Bell, authorities said.
I find three things funny about this:
1. Cal-Orozco is described as "an itinerant stable hand."
2. The horse's name is apt.
3. Dude fucked a horse.