Midwestern Eavesdropping - 9/18/10

Thirtysomething guy during fantasy football draft: "Nothing like birthday sex."
4-yr-old boy who just entered the room: "Hi Dad."
--Naperville, IL
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Two male co-workers have a discussion:
Guy 1: "Have you seen the new girl yet?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, she sits on the other side of the floor."
Guy 1: "Do you think she's cute?"
Guy 2: "You know, she's one of those kinda chubby sweater-set girls who wears their pants a size too small, so..."
Guy 1: "You're going to be all over that?"
Guy 2: "You know it."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Floppy Burrito

Girl standing outside bar: "Part of him is gay. And by part of him, I mean the lower part."
--Chicago, Rocks, 1301 W. Schubert
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething female eating outdoors at a restaurant: "I'm getting eaten alive. They should have salmonella candles out here."
--Naperville, IL
Eavesdropper: Bundy Victim

Drunk guy as girl walks past him out of bar: "I guess I shouldn't have called her an asshole."
--Chicago, Rocks, 1301 W. Schubert
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "I think I had scurvy"
Twentysomething fourth grade teacher, dead serious: "Isn't that an STD?"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Girl at party: "I'm not making any guarantees about botulism."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething woman watching football: "I can't feel my thumbs but I'll stick em in the air."
--Aurora, IL
Eavesdropper: McCleezie

Girl outside bar: "And I am going to show my vagina to someone tonight."
--Chicago, Rocks, 1301 W. Schubert
Eavesdropper: GMYH

32-year-old at BBQ place: "How have I gone 32 years without pork belly?"
--Chicago, Brand BBQ, Armitage & California
Eavesdropper: GMYH

As we do from time to time here on Midwestern Eavesdropping, we have something that isn't technically eavesdropping, but definitely worth of inclusion. This is the first voicemail anyone has sent me. As background, this message was left on a married couple's house phone after midnight on a Friday night a few weeks ago. They do not know the caller. I added images that I assumed were in the caller's head while he left the message:


--Springboro, OH
Eavesdroppers: Mounty and Clalahan

As usual, if you hear anything funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.