Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Tuesday Top Ten: Favorite Beer Names

I love beer.  I also love the fact that many craft brewers come up with awesome names for their beers.  Tron sent me a link to an article from Alehead.com listing the 100 best beer names, which was apparently a follow-up to an article they did a few years ago listing the top 50 beer names.  There are some pretty solid names on both lists.  Some of my favorites are The Dude's Oat Soda (if you don't get it, obviously you're not a golfer), Smell the Glove, Badonk-A-Dunkel, Wizard Sleeve, Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right BA Select, Citra Ass Down!, Another Caucasian Gary (would you take it easy), and Carl Weathers as Dillon in Predator Imperial Cascadian Dark Ale.

Here are my top ten favorite beer names.  I'm limiting these to beers that I have actually consumed myself, 'cause I don't want Caufield to accuse me of being a phony.  These are in no particular order, except inverse numeric.

Honorable mention:  Brother Thelonius (North Coast); Dirty Bastard (Founders); Old Rasputin (North Coast); Pastrami On Rye (Pipeworks); Wells Bombardier (Wells & Young)

10.  Robert the Bruce (Three Floyds)
This one fights like a warrior poet, in the year of our Lord thirteen fourteen.

9.  Skull Splitter (Orkney)
Beer Advocate gives it a 91 out of 100.  One reviewer described it as having a "[s]harp, boozy aroma with light raisin and toffee notes."  So yeah, it gets you fucked up.

8.  Scotty Karate (Dark Horse)
Rhyming can be fun, especially when it involves a Scotch ale.  Yes, I realize that didn't rhyme.

7.  Doppelrock (Great Lakes)
You see, it's a doppelbock from Cleveland, the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

6.  Velvet Merlin (Firestone Walker)
I just had this for the first time a couple weeks ago, and it's fantastic, if you're into oatmeal stouts named after wizards who drape themselves in velvet.

5.  Old Speckled Hen (Morland)
This is a great English ale with a great name.

4.  Optimator (Spaten)
It just sounds so damn intimidating.  And so damn German.

3.  Bad Elmer Porter (Upland)
After their fantastic wheat beer, this is my favorite from Bloomington's own Upland Brewery.

2.  Dragon's Milk (New Holland)
It's funny because dragons don't have tits.  But if they did, those tits would produce 10% ABV ale aged in oak barrels that bloggers drink while watching their alma mater shit the bed against an inferior Minnesota team.

1.  Arrogant Bastard (Stone)
How can you top this?  You can't.  And it'll make sure you know that.

And what of you, dear reader?  What are your favorite beer names?

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