What infuriates me, however, are people who refuse to move out of the way to let people exit the train. When you're standing near the door, it's common courtesy to get off the train and stand next to the door at each station. This allows everyone who was not lucky enough to stand near the door to exit the train in a manner that doesn't involve pushing, swearing, and/or the near sodomization of your backpack because you won't move from the center of the entranceway.
"But I can just move to one side, and that will be fine." No, dicknose, it won't be fine. You know why? Because people are coming from both sides. Thus, when you move to one side, you block that side, which often causes you to do a side-to-side dance that alternately blocks people on both sides, causing an logjam, when you could have just stepped three fucking feet forward and stood next to the open doors while everyone flowed off in an orderly manner.
"But the only people that need to step out are the ones leaning against the doors. No one else is in anyone's way." I have a right mind to slap your fat face. People are trying to get out from the aisles on both sides of the door and from the doorway on the opposite side of the train. Thus, if you are standing anywhere within five feet of the doors, you are in the way. Perhaps you don't notice people saying "excuse me" as they try to get around you and the apparent boulder that's three feet in diameter you have in your backpack, as you stand right at the end of the aisle, clinging to the pole as if letting go for five seconds will end your pathetic life. Move.
"But how can I be expected to know that people are trying to get by me when I'm reading, listening to my iPod, or playing Words With Friends on my phone?" Here's a trick I find helpful: when the train stops, look up. If there are people trying to get around you, get the fuck out of their way. I find this works much better than pretending that, just because you have earbuds in and/or are reading this month's issue of The Economist, you have no idea you are on a crowded train.