Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Tuesday Top Ten: More Bad Tattoos

Guys, I have to apologize.  Yesterday, I got so caught up in watching the White Sox game, figuring out which of the dozens of pregnant women I know were birthing children, and heroin that I forgot to post a Tuesday Top Ten.  I'd like to say that it won't happen again, but pregnant Facebook posting is a hell of drug. 

In May 2010 and March of this year, I posted top ten lists of bad tattoos.  And then, last month, I posted about sloth tattoos, which is still a concept I have not totally come to grips with.  But the bottom line is that pictures of bad tattoos never get old.  Beauty, of course, is in the eye of the beholder, but the fact that there are so many bad tattoo lists should serve as a reminder to anyone considering a tattoo that they are, in fact, permanent (barring expensive and painful removal procedures).

Thanks to Allison for sending me a link to yet another slideshow of bad tattoos (18, in fact), which includes, but is not limited to:

#18 - A woman with a tattoo on her ARMPIT of a giant-headed baby inside a shark's mouth.

#16 - An overhead shot of a six-pack of beer on a NASCAR fan's beer belly.  "My girlfriend's always sayin' she wishes I had a six-pack, so I'm like, 'here you go, Darlene,'" he says any chance he can get, followed by a self-satisfied laugh that lasts a few seconds too long, followed by uncontrollable coughing due to a lifetime of smoking Winstons.

#14 - A giant tattoo of ALF on someone's quad, which I think is completely acceptable.  Just don't put a cat on the other leg!

#11 - Speaking of which, a cat looking back at you and whose asshole is a man's belly button.  This is fucking horrible.

#8 - Patrick Swayze's character from the SNL Chippendale's sketch as a centaur.  I think this one has been featured in several "bad tattoo" lists, rather than in its rightful place in the MOMA.

#7 - Two giraffes fucking on a man's stomach.  FOREVER.

#4 - A McDonald's arches tramp stamp.  2 all-beef curtains, special sauce, a pickle, and a bun, hold the lettuce, cheese, and onions, unless you're into that.

#1 - A "No Fear" tattoo and eyes on the back of a head.  I really hoped this guy can grow hair or is comfortable with wearing a wig for the rest of his life.

As if that's not enough fun, there was another slideshow linked from that article that features 16 eyelid tattoos.  Ever since seeing that hotel manager in Stuck On You make use of painted eyes on his eyelids (so that it looks like he's away when, in fact, he is sleeping), I have been intrigued by the possibilities that eyelid tattoos might hold.  Thanks to this slideshow, I am good.  Numbers 16, 13, and 8 are particularly awesome.  #4 is my new hero.

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