"Bad Boys"

For those of you who have discovered the never-ending joy of Facebook, you may have seen the following note floating around. If not, consider yourself tagged.

For the six of you who have not yet discovered Facebook, it is a social networking site used by people from ages 10 to 493 (fucking vampires). One of its features is called "notes," by which someone can "post" a "note" on their Facebook page, then "tag" his or her "friends," in an effort to get the friends to post the same note on their respective Facebook pages, but with their own answers. It's quite enjoyable.

Anywho, the note below came courtesy of Daniel "The Most Interesting Man in the World" DiTomaso. Since today is Hair Band Friday, it is more than appropriate that I respond using only hair band songs, since I only listen to hair band songs on Fridays. Hence, Hair Band Friday. I also bang a lot of chicks on top of file cabinets, but that's neither here nor there -- that's just a normal Friday in the office.

Here are the pertinent instructions for this "note":
-Put your iTunes (or whatever) on shuffle.
-For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
-Write that song name down. No cheating.

And with that, here are the questions and answers, using the first 21 songs that flowed from my iPod today. Unfortunately, as I have mentioned before, iTunes has taken away my ability to control the randomness of my shuffle. Hence, this is very Mötley Crüe and AC/DC heavy.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY:
"Heaven" - Warrant

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Squealer" - AC/DC

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Alone Again" - Dokken

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Let It Rock" - Bon Jovi

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Don't Turn Away" - Whitesnake

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"Signs" - Tesla

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Lack of Communication" - Ratt

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Garden of Eden" - Guns N' Roses

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Over the Mountain" - Ozzy Osbourne

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Sex Action" - L.A. Guns. Booyah!

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"You're In Love" - Ratt

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Highway to Hell" - AC/DC. Can't argue with that.

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Public Enemy #1" - Mötley Crüe. I have always been a James Cagney fan.

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Uncle Tom's Cabin" - Warrant

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"House of Pain" - Van Halen

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Stagefright" - Def Leppard. This is very much related to #12.

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" - AC/DC

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Stick to Your Guns" - Mötley Crüe

19. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"Rodeo" - Mötley Crüe

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Kickstart My Heart" - Mötley Crüe

21. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Bad Boys" - Whitesnake

Feel free to post your own as comments (even if you don't listen to all hair band music on Fridays -- although you really should). I think you'll find this exercise to be quite cathartic.

The only problem is that you really don't get a sense of the man behind Hair Band Friday with only one list. And the other problem is that this is more addictive than shooting coke after doing legal research and then getting a BJ from three chicks at once, all of whose names end in "i." And I have almost 500 hair band songs. Hence, I did it six more times with mixed results. Here are the best answers:

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY:
"High 'N' Dry (Saturday Night)" - Def Leppard
"Don't Treat Me Bad" - Firehouse
"One Step Away" - Ratt

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Little Dreamer" - Van Halen
"Pretty Tied Up (The Perils of Rock & Roll Decadence)" - Guns N' Roses
"The Warrior" - Scandal

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Action" - Def Leppard

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Love Bites" - Def Leppard
"Red Hot" - Mötley Crüe. Jock itch.
"Let Me Put My Love Into You" - AC/DC. But to be fair, I feel like that every day.
"To Hell with the Devil" - Stryper. This is especially appropriate, given Drew Peterson's comments today.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Tease Me Please Me" - The Scorpions
"Move to the City" - Guns N' Roses
"Anything Goes" - Guns N' Roses

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"Time for Change" - Mötley Crüe
"City Boy Blues" - Mötley Crüe. I do live in a city, I am a boy, and I like the blues.
"Dance" - Ratt
"Have a Drink On Me" - AC/DC. True!
"Used to Love Her" - Guns N' Roses. Sorry, ladies.

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Stop the World (And Let Me Off)" - Extreme
"Am I Ever Gonna Change" - Extreme. No!
"Givin' the Dog a Bone" - AC/DC. Thanks, guys.
"Living in Sin" - Bon Jovi. Not anymore.
"Night Prowler" - AC/DC. This is true whether you take the song to mean a boy sneaking into a girl's room or to be the inspiration for Richard Ramirez.

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Rest In Peace" - Extreme
"And the Cradle Will Rock" - Van Halen
"Rock 'N' Roll Singer" - AC/DC

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Givin' Yourself Away" - Ratt
"Nothing to Lose" - L.A. Guns
"Merry-Go-Round" - Mötley Crüe
"Ain't No Fun (Waiting Round to Be a Millionaire)" by AC/DC. Every fucking day.
"The Zoo" by The Scorpions. I only live about a mile away.
"Cherokee" - Europe

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"She Goes Down" - Mötley Crüe. Hi-yoohhhhhh!
"Livin' The Life" - Steel Dragon

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"You Shook Me All Night Long" - AC/DC. Please assume my "best friend" in this case is Jessie.

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Sinner's Swing!" - Van Halen
"Rocket Queen" - Guns N' Roses
"Give to Live" - Sammy Hagar
"When the Children Cry" - White Lion. I do have an uncanny ability to make children cry.

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Little Lover" - AC/DC
"Danger" - Mötley Crüe

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Knock 'Em Dead, Kid" - Mötley Crüe
"Spanish Fly" - Van Halen (nice)
"I Won't Forget You" - Poison
"Tell the World" - Ratt

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" - Van Halen
"You're the Only Hell Your Mama Ever Raised" - Warrant
"Afraid" - Mötley Crüe
"Too Late For Love" - Def Leppard

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"No One Like You" - The Scorpions. I should be so lucky.
"Girl Gone Bad" - Van Halen. I will be sleeping with one eye open from now on.
"Sure Feels Good to Me" - Warrant
"Gods of War" - Def Leppard

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Rattlesnake Shake" - Mötley Crüe. Hello!
"Decadence Dance" - Extreme. This makes sense, given that my motto is "Dance."

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Billy's Got a Gun" - Def Leppard
"One Foot Out the Door" - Van Halen

19. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"Cherry Pie" - Warrant
"Blind Faith" - Warrant
"I Want Action" - Poison. Perfect.

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Take Me To the Top" - Mötley Crüe. They do.
"You've Got Another Thing Comin'" - Judas Priest. Maybe YOU should sleep with one eye open from now on.
"Nothin' But a Good Time" - Poison. True dat!
"Fallen Angel" - Poison. Most of 'em, anyway.