Shit I Hate: Your Dog's Shit

Now that much of the snow has melted here in Chicago, people are out and about, enjoying the relatively warm weather and doing their best to avoid the piles and piles of dog feces that pepper the sidewalks and parkways.

You see, a lot of dog owners are morons. When there is snow on the ground, some people apparently think that they don't have to pick up their dog's shit, as if snow magically makes dog shit disappear, rather than preserve it magnificently until the temperature gets above freezing. Either that, or they are just assholes. However, this isn't a problem in the spring, summer, and fall, so I assume these people are simply idiots.

So now, you have to watch every step you take when you're walking on the sidewalk. And God help you if you try to cross a parkway -- they're like mine fields of soggy dung. It's absolutely disgusting.

Look, I have a dog. I know that she poops. And I know that she poops outside. Thus, whenever I take my dog outside, I bring what we dog owners refer to as "poo bags." With those "poo bags," I pick up my dog's shit, and then I throw the "poo bag" full of my dog's shit into the nearest waste receptacle. It's quite simple. If I can do it, you can do it. Get your fucking act together and act like a responsible human being. In the meantime, thanks to people who don't understand the properties of refrigeration, I will be dancing my way around Lincoln Park's sidewalks.