Midwestern Eavesdropping - 4/30/09

It's been a while, and they have been stockpiling, so enjoy:

Brother 1: "We know more about Buffett than 95 percent of the population."
Brother 2: "No no no. 99 percent. There are a lot of Asians out there."
--Chicago, Full Shilling, Clark & Waveland
Eavesdropper: Bonham

Twentysomething female: "Did he say he is singing the song 'Anal Sunshine'?"
Everyone else in the room: "No, the song 'Ain't No Sunshine."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething guy walks into bar, sits down with friends, notices that all TVs are showing NBA games, and says, in all seriousness: "Can a brother get an NIT game up in here?"
--Chicago, Rocks, 1301 W. Schubert
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething attorney: "Wait, what do you do?"
Twentysomething female grad student: "I'm in school for physical therapy. You should see our cadaver lab. There are fetuses in jars. They're full of them. I can bring you there."
--Chicago, Astor & Banks
Eavesdropper: RobD

Third-grade teacher letting her inner monologue fail her while watching Dancing With the Stars: "I want to be a dancer & not a whore."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Two women and a man converse in an office building elevator:
Woman 1: "So, from what part of New York are you originally from?"
Man: "Actually, I'm from [BlaBla], a suburb in New Jersey."
Woman 1 and 2 (disappointed): "Oooh."
Woman 2: "Well at least you got rid of the accent -- 'cause, you know, it's just necessary."
--Chicago, 33 W. Wacker
Eavesdropper: Damyell

Twentysomething female: "When did Boyz II Men get so black? [pause] Oh, that's Backstreet Boys that are white. Whoops."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk thirtysomething at apartment party, yelling to girls across the street leaving pizza place: "You have no idea how good my sex with your pizza would be."
--Chicago, Diversey & Racine
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Husband and wife discuss the fact that their dog may need surgery:
Husband: "[The dog] would need a little doggie anesthetic."
Wife: "No [Husband], he would need anesthesia."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Marshall's employee over the store-wide PA system: "For the customer waiting to use the restroom, please be patient. There is someone in there."
--Chicago, Marshall's, Clark & Halsted
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female to her dog, referring to the cheese fries she just devoured: "I didn't give you any. Don't worry, I have some in my teeth."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Polish girl: "The Baltic is really salty."
Guy: "Really?"
Polish girl: "I got food poisoning one time. From cherries."
--Chicago, Trinity Bar, Halsted & Diversey
Eavesdropper: RobD

Random dude noticing a very long beer line before a Flight of the Conchords concert: "I feel like we should have brought heroin or something."
--Chicago, Arie Crown Theater
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Bachelor at his bachelor party: "You get drunker if you drink through a straw, right?"
--somewhere in Iowa
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Random married dude at a bachelor party: "All I think about is fucking someone else."
--somewhere in Iowa
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

So there you have it. Thanks to everyone who contributed. For everyone else, keep those ears open, and when you overhear something funny or that can be taken completely out of context, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next Midwestern Eavesdropping, which hopefully won't take another month next time around.