Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tuesday Top Ten: Pig Names

It seems like just yesterday, I posted a picture of Jessie's family's new pig and asked you all to suggest names for it. Well, you answered in force with puns a-blazin', and I appreciate that.

Here are what I believe to be the ten best suggested names:

10. Ham Bone
9. Pigmalion
8. The Notorious P.I.G.
7. Breakfast
6. Pig Papi
5. Hammy Sosa
4. Ron McKernan (click here if you don't get it)
3. 猪
2. Arthur Pigby Sellers
1. Piggie Smalls

Monday, September 28, 2009

Name That Pig

So Jessie's family got a pig for some reason, modeled below in the arms of an all-too-happy Mary. As of this morning it was unnamed. They may have already named it, but frankly I'm not interested in finding out. I suggested Bacon, since I assume most pigs are huge fans of Kevin Bacon. My suggestion was met with ire. Now is the part where you guys help them name their pig. Post suggested names for this pink pile of pork, and I will pass them on. I can't promise they will listen to me, but hey, when else are you going to get the chance to possibly name a pig?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Undefeated After Week 4

Thanks to the refs blowing a crucial call and going 1 for 5 on red zone touchdowns, the Hoosiers fell in a heartbreaker at Michigan to end their hopes of an undefeated season. I am still pissed about the game. IU should have won. Such is life.

But the Hoosiers were not the only team to suffer their first loss of the season this weekend. Arizona State, Cal, Colorado State, Kentucky, Miami, Ole Miss, North Carolina, Penn State, Pitt, and Southern Miss all went down as well.

We are now down to 17 FBS teams that are undefeated. A maximum of eight teams, however, will be able to finish the season undefeated.

Here is a conference-by-conference breakdown of the undefeated teams, with the number of possible undefeated teams in parentheses:

Big 12 (1)
North
-Kansas
-Missouri
South
-Texas
-Texas A&M

Texas plays all three other teams, and Kansas and Missouri play each other. Thus, even if either Mizzou or KU and Texas A&M were to go undefeated, they would meet in the Big 12 championship game, so only one can finish undefeated.

Big East (1)
-Cincinnati
-South Florida

They play each other, so only one can possibly emerge undefeated.

Big Ten (1)
-Iowa
-Michigan
-Wisconsin

They all play each other, so only one can possibly emerge undefeated.

Conference USA (1)
-Houston

Mountain West (1)
-TCU

Pac-10 (1)
-UCLA

SEC (1)
East
-Florida
West
-Alabama
-Auburn
-LSU

If Florida wins out, that means that LSU is not undefeated.
If Alabama wins out, that means that Auburn and LSU are not undefeated.
If Auburn wins out, that means that Alabama and LSU are not undefeated.
If LSU wins out, that means that Alabama, Florida, and Auburn are not undefeated.

Also, because the winner of the East faces the winner of the West in the SEC championship game, there can be only one undefeated SEC team.

WAC (1)
-Boise State

Below are the games over the remainder of the season that pit two currently undefeated teams against each other.

October 10
Michigan at Iowa
Florida at LSU

October 15
Cincinnati at South Florida

October 17
Iowa at Wisconsin

October 24
Missouri at Texas
Auburn at LSU

November 7
LSU at Alabama

November 14
Michigan at Wisconsin

November 21
Kansas at Texas

November 26
Texas at Texas A&M

November 27
Alabama at Auburn

November 28
Missouri at Kansas

Friday, September 25, 2009

What Have You

So what's up? Not much here. I figured I would fill you in on what's been going on with me over the past few weeks. I started a new job, so that's cool. I never thought I would enjoy being a fluffer as much as I do. So far so good.

A couple weekends ago, I got together in B-town for a mini pledge class reunion. Aside from me, it was Jamie (and wife and kids), Ball (sans wife and kids), Dave (sans wife – too soon?), Wee Wee (and wife and kid), and Grimace (and wife and kids). All in all, good times were had. We sat in the new part of Memorial Stadium, which is really nice. Only Jamie, Ball, Dave, and I stayed down there Saturday night, which involved Sink the Bismarck and laughter at Nick's, followed by stuffed breadsticks and getting slapped in the face by someone I vocally mistook for a stripper at Kilroy's. Sweetie, if your skirt barely covers your vagina, your boobs are sticking out of your skintight halter top, you're wearing stilettos, and you go up to a random guy (who looked like a character from a Bret Easton Ellis novel) on the sidewalk outside a bar and make out with him, you should expect certain labels to be thrust upon you by drunk thirtysomething males who are about to have daughters and are scared shitless they'll turn out like you. You should be in a Whitesnake video, not on Kirkwood.

Upon my return from God's country, I went to Lebowksi Fest. If you've never been, I highly suggest going when it hits your city. On the first night of the Fest, they have a showing of the film. The movie night was pretty solid. It was at the Portage Theater, which is a historic theater not unlike those frequented by Jeffrey Harharwood. The evening started with a Lebowski-themed burlesque show. Now I'm a weird guy with weird tastes. Hell, nothing turns me on more than when a naked pregnant woman reads Beowulf aloud to me, in Old English. But seeing a chick dressed up as Walter (beard and all) strip down to her damned undies will haunt me.

After that, a band called Black Diamond Heavies played. Their lead singer's voice sounded like someone had taken his vocal chords out, tied them to a chain, dragged them from a pick-up truck down a gravel road somewhere in West Texas, and then reinserted them. And I mean that in the best possible way. I thought they were pretty good. And of course they covered a couple songs from the movie (CCR's "Run Through the Jungle" and Dylan's "The Man in Me").

Before the movie started, there was a surprise satellite link to Los Angeles to man. And I'm talking about The Dude here. That's right, Jeff Bridges, dressed up as The Dude, with a White Russian in his hand, gave us a pre-movie benediction. That was pretty cool. Then we watched the movie, had a few laughs, a few beers, and called it a night.

In addition to the movie night, for the next two nights, they rent out a bowling alley, where, in addition to bowling, there are Lebowski costume contests (the categories are: The Dude; Walter; Maude; Jesus; other; and group) and a Lebowski trivia contest. Tradd, Bohmann, Australian Andrew, and I went to the second bowling night. This is the real heart of Lebowski Fest. Most people dress up. It's simply awesome. Tradd and I made it to the second round of the trivia contest, and Tradd made it to the finals, taking third. Achiever.

Also joining us there were The Floppy Burrito, his special ladyfriend Shannon, and her sister (Bridget) and brother-in-law (Dennis), dressed as The Stranger, the tumbleweed, dream sequence Maude, and dream sequence Dude, respectively.
Shannon won the "other" category in the costume contest, and Bridget and Dennis won the group category. And proud we are of all of them.

To top it off, Liam (Jesus' bowling partner in the movie) was there, bowling and what have you.
There was also a bowling contest. Of course, after the contest, I managed to bowl a 203 (my best game ever), which would have won the contest. I got a rash, man.

For a lot of pics from both bowling nights, here is a link from the official site. And for some videos, including a "Jesus Off," click here for the Lebowski Fest blog.

Myles Brand died. About 15 years too late.

The Brothers Weeser* (minus Tim and Greg) informed me last Thursday that he has never taken a shit at work. In my estimation, that's unhealthy.

My buddy Adam got married last weekend, here in downtown Chicago. After the rehearsal on Friday, I achieved one of my lifelong dreams: standing in the aisle on a school bus driving down I-55 while drinking a Keystone Light. In the words of Kid Rock, I am the bull god. I have no idea what that means.

The wedding itself was pretty awesome, although my body is not as resilient as it used to be. Apparently drinking whiskey all night (that's my wedding drink), then going to a 5 a.m. bar while wearing a three-piece suit and a monocle and talking about that wry bastard Andy Carnegie means that I get a wicked hangover. Live and learn.

Susan Atkins died today. Frankly, she should have been killed long ago – stabbed repeatedly while she was eight and a half month pregnant. Burn in hell.

Of course, even though I know better, I'm far too excited about the IU/Michigan game tomorrow, given that the Hoosiers are 3-0. Because I am a glutton for shattered dreams, I have hope that this year's team might have the gusto to pull off an upset, even though I know deep down that I'm just setting myself up for imminent disappointment. Such is the life of an IU football fan.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Midwestern Eavesdropping - 9/24/09

Hammered chick outside bar: "I'm a good business woman. Like, I don't do well if you put me in, like, a mathematical situquation -- yeah, I just said situquation -- but I'm good at what I do."
--Chicago, Vaughan's, Sheffield & Oakdale
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "Let me tell you about the group of RETARDS I have THIS year."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Woman outside bowling alley: "I went to wake up Tim and he's lying there in a white shirt covered in barbeque sauce. In bed."
--Chicago, Diversey River Bowl, Divesey & Logan
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Early twenties drunk girl to her friends after looking at her face in the mirror of a bar bathroom: "The next bar we go to needs to be a lot darker."
--Chicago, State, 935 W. Webster
Eavesdropper: ERS

Mid 20s female consultant to mid 20s administrative assistant: "I have all sorts of pics of Kerry and I stuffing our cats into things they didn't want to be in."
--Chicago office of Big 4 firm
Eavesdropper: The Floppy Burrito

Apparently straight dude getting out of cab in front of a bar: "You were the one Googling 'biggest dick in the world.'"
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Fifth-grade teacher: "Asshole makes me happy."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething guy to friends: "Once I get it up I'm fine. It's when I can't get it up that I have problems."
--Chicago, Diversey & Racine
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Region Rat: "I am a mental midget"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk chick: "I used to date this guy and now he's like the second best hooker in Ireland."
--Chicago, Diversey River Bowl, Divesey & Logan
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female who teaches children: "Can you put your glasses in the dishwasher? Isn't it a powerwash?"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething female watching "The Biggest Loser": "Fat people don't even deserve to be happy."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thanks to all who contributed. As always, if you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Happy Birthday Jessie and Ari

Just a quick happy 30th to my lovely wife and master of sleight of hand, Jestrio the Magnificent, and her elder twin and master of barefoot sidewalk racing, Ario the Mysterio.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Undefeated After Week 3

There will be no Tuesday Top Ten this week. Deal with it.

Well, Week 3 of this young college football season is in the books, and I am pleasantly surprised no that my Hoosiers are 3-0, but that they won a road game so convincingly (a 38-21 victory over Akron). Sure, you may think that's no big deal, since it's a MAC opponent, but let me remind you that IU lost at home last year to two MAC opponents, and IU has been to one bowl game in the past 15 years, so excuse me if I'll take a victory any way I can get it.

We are now down to 27 FBS teams that are undefeated, 15 of which are in the AP Top 25. A maximum of ten teams, however, will be able to finish the season undefeated. The Big Ten is the only league that has a chance at two undefeated teams.

One thing I find interesting is that the top five traditional basketball powers are thus far undefeated on the football field (IU, Kansas, Kentucky, UCLA, and UNC). Sure, that's bound to end at some point (perhaps even this weekend), but nice work nonetheless.

Here is a conference-by-conference breakdown of the undefeated teams, with the number of possible undefeated teams in parentheses:

ACC (1)
-Miami
-North Carolina

They play each other, so only one can finish undefeated.

Big 12 (1)
North
-Kansas
-Missouri
South
-Texas
-Texas A&M

Texas plays all three other teams, and Kansas and Missouri play each other. Thus, even if either Mizzou or KU and Texas A&M were to go undefeated, they would meet in the Big 12 championship game, so only one can finish undefeated.

Big East (1)
-Cincinnati
-Pittsburgh
-South Florida

Everyone plays each other, so only one can possibly emerge undefeated.

Big Ten (2)
-Indiana
-Iowa
-Michigan
-Penn State
-Wisconsin

IU, Iowa, and Michigan all play each of the other four teams. Penn State and Wisconsin do not play each other. Thus, both Wisconsin and Penn State can run the table.

Conference USA (1)
-Southern Miss
-Houston

They play each other, so there can only be one of them that finishes undefeated.

Mountain West (1)
-Colorado State
-TCU

They play each other, so there can only be one of them that finishes undefeated.

Pac-10 (1)
-Arizona State
-Cal
-UCLA

They all play each other, so there can only be one of them that finishes undefeated.

SEC (1)
East
-Florida
-Kentucky
West
-Alabama
-Auburn
-LSU
-Mississippi

If Florida wins out, that means that Kentucky and LSU are not undefeated.
If Kentucky wins out, that means that Florida, Auburn, and Alabama are not undefeated.
If Alabama wins out, that means that Auburn, LSU, Ole Miss, and Kentucky are not undefeated.
If Auburn wins out, that means that Alabama, LSU, Ole Miss, and Kentucky are not undefeated.
If LSU wins out, that means that Alabama, Florida, Ole Miss, and Auburn are not undefeated.
If Ole Miss wins out, that means that Auburn, LSU, and Alabama are not undefeated.

Also, because the winner of the East faces the winner of the West in the SEC championship game, there can be only one undefeated SEC team.

WAC (1)
-Boise State

Boise State is the only undefeated team that will not play any other undefeated teams for the remainder of the regular season.

After this weekend, the number of undefeated teams will drop by at least four. Below are the games over the remainder of the season that pit two currently undefeated teams against each other.

September 26
Southern Miss at Kansas
Indiana at Michigan
Iowa at Penn State
Florida at Kentucky

October 3
Alabama at Kentucky

October 10
Michigan at Iowa
Florida at LSU
Alabama at Ole Miss

October 15
Cincinnati at South Florida

October 17
Iowa at Wisconsin
Colorado State at TCU
Cal at UCLA
Kentucky at Auburn

October 24
South Florida at Pittsburgh
Missouri at Texas
Penn State at Michigan
Auburn at LSU

October 31
Indiana at Iowa
Southern Miss at Houston
Cal at Arizona State
Ole Miss at Auburn

November 7
Wisconsin at Indiana
LSU at Alabama

November 14
Miami at North Carolina
Indiana at Penn State
Michigan at Wisconsin

November 21
Kansas at Texas
UCLA at Arizona State
LSU at Ole Miss

November 26
Texas at Texas A&M

November 27
Alabama at Auburn

November 28
Miami at South Florida
Missouri at Kansas

December 5
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh

Because I love college football, and I am especially geeked up about who will finish this season undefeated (if anyone) given that this year is wide open, I will likely update this every week.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Mr. Hess Goes to Huntington

Tail Pipe, a fellow IU grad living a life of relative leisure in The OC, recently started a blog, Mr. Hess Goes to Huntington. Despite what you might think, it's not about a trip to Huntington, Indiana, home of the world-famous Pope Twins, who, by the way, turn the big 3-0 on Wednesday. Luckily, as it turns out, Huntington Beach, California has a lot more going on than Huntington, Indiana (no offense, Vikes). Check it out. I'm also linking it on my sidebar.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Hold Steady article

For you Hold Steady fans (or for anyone else, for that matter), check out this article, which has videos of several studio performances, free downloads, and an interview.

AT

As promised, here is that picture of all of us with Anthony Thompson at a Tempe Denny's.

Thursday Texts

I'm sure by now everyone has had the chance to visit Texts From Last Night, a hilarious website where people submit text messages they have sent or received to be posted for the world to see.

I love TFLN, but none of the approximately ten text messages I have submitted to TFLN have been posted. And yes, the texts I submitted were just as sophomoric as everything else that gets posted. And, as an aside, I've never understood why the word isn't freshmanic. As a further aside, Freshmanic would be a good name for a movie about freshmen who are manic or maybe about a dude who bangs a lot of freshmen.

Anyway, this outright rejection has led me to create Thursday Texts for those of you who are rejected by TFLN.

Once every week or two on Thursday, I'm going to post hilarious text messages that I receive. They will be anonymous, identified only by their area code (like TFLN). I invite you to email hilarious texts that you send or receive to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, and I will post them accordingly. Just to be clear, unlike Midwestern Eavesdropping – which will not in any way be harmed by Thursday Texts – I won't be posting handles for people who submit the texts. It will just be the area code. For example:

773: Hi
312: You're a whore

Realizing that you may not feel comfortable with emailing your area code to a man who once dressed up as Ace Frehley and promptly blacked out, I also strongly encourage people to post texts as comments to the Thursday Text posts.

With that, here are the first submissions (and yes, I realize it's not Thursday, but chill out):

937: Nothing says Friday like the PBR and kamikaze shits at work
310: My Twin Anchors shits just made me hungry for lunch

765: RIP myles brand. Whatever.

773: Turns out Patrick Swayze can be put in a corner

989: Is it still road head if the car is in a ditch?

937: Pirates 6 outs away from 17 straight losing seasons! Why isn't espn covering this live?

919: Last nite ended in a huge blur in a random bar at noon

So, with that, feel free to post your own in the comments. I won't discriminate like TFLN, although I won't approve comments that include last names.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

People of Wal-Mart

I apologize for not posting a Tuesday Top Ten yesterday, but I was at Lebowski Fest, so I didn't have time. To make up for it, I give you People of Wal-Mart. The beauty of it is its simplicity.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Sunny on Thursday

The season premier of one of the funniest shows on TV, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, is this Thursday at 10E/9C.

If you aren't already acquainted with its hilarity, check out previous episodes on Hulu.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Mark It Eight

A couple of us are going to Lebowski Fest next week here in Chicago, but are at a loss for how we should dress up, as there are so many options. I was thinking about dressing up in CCCP stuff, so that I would be a White Russian, but it's already been done. Other ideas include putting Tradd in a t-shirt that says "I am Nothing," and the rest of us in t-shirts that say "I believe in him," with arrows pointing to Tradd.

Any other ideas? We're obviously short on time, but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Take 'er easy.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

We Remember

Thanks to Tron for the link.


Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate

Dimitri

If you like hearing douchebags make asses out of themselves, then this should be right up your alley. It's the story (and accompanying audio file) of a guy named Dimitri to whom some poor woman foolishly gave her number. Listen and laugh. It's elegant. Thanks to Christoff for the link.

I know I heard this a couple years ago, and I'm sure I said something timely and poignant about it, but I can't seem to find that anywhere. Plus, this is funny enough that it should be re-exposed to the world as many times as possible.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die

So Jester and I were at the Crate and Barrel outlet store over on Clybourn the other day, shopping for God knows what, and I saw a book of interest sitting on the shelf, beckoning me: 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die by Robert Dimery. It was $26.95, so I passed, but it definitely – and immediately – made me take stock in my life and music collection. Thus, I set out to use the "internet" to find the list.

The list begins in the 1950s and originally continued through 2006. It was revised in 2007 to include a few more albums, so I suppose it now is more than 1,001. And whatever list I copied must not have been complete because it only had 998 before I added the latest additions.

Anyway, here's the list, and the bolded ones are the ones I currently own in their entirety (whether in CD, tape, vinyl, or digital format).

1950s
1. Frank Sinatra – In the Wee Small Hours
2. Elvis Presley– Elvis Presley
3. Louvin Brothers – Tragic Songs of Life
4. Louis Prima – Wildest
5. Fats Domino – This is Fats
6. Duke Ellington – At Newport
7. Frank Sinatra – Songs for Swingin' Lovers!
8. Crickets – Chirping Crickets
9. Count Basie – Atomic Mr. Basie
10. Thelonious Monk – Brilliant Corners
11. Sabú [Martínez] – Palo Congo
12. Miles Davis – Birth of the Cool
13. Machito – Kenya
14. Little Richard – Here's Little Richard
15. Tito Puente & His Orchestra – Dance Mania
16. Billie Holiday – Lady in Satin
17. Jack Elliott – Jack Takes the Floor
18. Sarah Vaughan – At Mister Kelly's
19. Ella Fitzgerald – Sings the Gershwin Song Book
20. Ray Charles – Genius of Ray Charles
21. Miles Davis – Kind of Blue
22. Marty Robbins – Gunfighter Ballads & Trail Songs
23. Dave Brubeck – Time Out

Total for the 1950s: 0/23

1960s
24. Joan Baez – Joan Baez
25. Elvis Presley, Elvis – Elvis is Back!
26. Miriam Makeba – Miriam Makeba
27. The Everly Brothers – A Date with The Everly Brothers
28. Jimmy Smith – Back at the Chicken Shack
29. Muddy Waters – At Newport
30. Bill Evans – Sunday at the Village Vanguard
31. Ray Charles - Modern Sounds in Country & Western Music
32. Booker T. & the MGs – Green Onions
33. Stan Getz & Charlie Byrd – Jazz Samba
34. Ray Price – Night Life
35. The Beatles – With The Beatles
36. Bob Dylan – Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
37. Phil Spector & Various Artists – A Christmas Gift for You
38. Sam Cooke – Live at the Harlem Square
39. Charles Mingus – Black Saint & the Sinner Lady
40. James Brown – Live at the Apollo
41. Stan Getz & João Gilberto – Getz/Gilberto
42. The Beatles – A Hard Day's Night
43. Jacques Brel – Olympia 64
44. Solomon Burke – Rock 'n' Soul
45. Dusty Springfield - A Girl Called Dusty
46. The Rolling Stones – The Rolling Stones
47. Buck Owens – I've Got a Tiger by the Tail
48. Jerry Lee Lewis – Live at the Star Club, Hamburg
49. The Sonics – Here Are The Sonics
50. Bob Dylan – Bringing it All Back Home
51. Otis Redding – Otis Blue: Otis Redding Sings Soul
52. The Beach Boys – Today!
53. John Coltrane – A Love Supreme
54. B.B. King – Live at the Regal
55. The Beatles – Rubber Soul
56. Bert Jansch – Bert Jansch
57. The Byrds – Mr. Tambourine Man
58. Bob Dylan – Highway 61 Revisited
59. The Who – My Generation
60. The Beatles – Revolver
61. The Beach Boys – Pet Sounds
62. Fred Neil – Fred Neil
63. The Byrds – Fifth Dimension
64. Bob Dylan – Blonde on Blonde
65. The Monks – Black Monk Time
66. The Kinks – Face to Face
67. The Mamas & The Papas – If You Can Believe Your Eyes & Ears
68. Paul Revere & The Raiders – Midnight Ride
69. The Mothers of Invention – Freak Out!
70. The Rolling Stones – Aftermath
71. Simon & Garfunkel – Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme
72. 13th Floor Elevators – Psychedelic Sounds of the 13th Floor Elevators
73. John Mayall's Blues Breakers – With Eric Clapton
74. Yardbirds – Yardbirds [aka Roger the Engineer]
75. Nina Simone – Wild is the Wind
76. Astrud Gilberto, Astrud
77. Nico – Chelsea Girl
78. The Beatles – Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
79. Country Joe & the Fish – Electric Music for the Mind & Body
80. Buffalo Springfield – Again
81. Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band – Safe as Milk
82. Moby Grape – Moby Grape
83. Love – Da Capo
84. The Beau Brummels – Triangle
85. The Monkees – Headquarters
86. Tim Buckley – Goodbye & Hello
87. Love – Forever Changes
88. Cream – Disraeli Gears
89. Pink Floyd – Piper at the Gates of Dawn
90. Who – Sell Out
91. Velvet Underground – Velvet Underground & Nico
92. Frank Sinatra - Frank Albert Sinatra & Antonio Carlos Jobim
93. The Doors – The Doors
94. Young Rascals – Groovin'
95. Jefferson Airplane – Surrealistic Pillow
96. The Kinks – Something Else by The Kinks
97. Donovan – Sunshine Superman
98. Merle Haggard – I'm a Lonesome Fugitive
99. The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Are You Experienced?
100. The Electric Prunes – I Had too Much to Dream (Last Night)
101. Loretta Lynn – Don't Come Home a Drinkin' (With Lovin' on Your Mind)
102. Shivkumar Sharma / Brij Bushan Kabra / Hariprasad Chaurasia – Call of the Valley
103. Velvet Underground – White Light/White Heat
104. The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Axis: Bold as Love
105. Aretha Franklin – I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You
106. The Rolling Stones – Beggars Banquet
107. Traffic – Traffic
108. Incredible String Band – Hangman's Beautiful Daughter
109. The Kinks – Village Green Preservation Society
110. Ravi Shankar – Sounds of India
111. os Mutantes – os Mutantes
112. The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Electric Ladyland
113. Leonard Cohen – Songs of Leonard Cohen
114. Johnny Cash – At Folsom Prison
115. Laura Nyro – Eli & the Thirteenth Confession
116. Aretha Franklin – Lady Soul
117. Blue Cheer – Vincebus Eruptum
118. The Byrds – Notorious Byrd Brothers
119. Big Brother & the Holding Company – Cheap Thrills
120. United States of America – United States of America
121. Dr. John – Gris Gris
122. Iron Butterfly – In a Gadda da Vida
123. Pretty Things – S.F. Sorrow
124. Simon & Garfunkel – Bookends
125. Small Faces – Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake
126. The Band – Music from Big Pink
127. Jeff Beck – Truth
128. Caetano Veloso – Caetano Veloso
129. Scott Walker – Scott 2
130. The Zombies – Odessey & Oracle
131. Van Morrison – Astral Weeks
132. The Byrds – Sweetheart of the Rodeo
133. The Beatles – The Beatles [aka White Album]
134. Mothers of Invention – We're Only in it for the Money
135. Neil Young – Everybody Knows This is Nowhere
136. Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band – Trout Mask Replica
137. Creedence Clearwater Revival – Bayou Country
138. Crosby, Stills & Nash – Crosby, Stills & Nash
139. Blood, Sweat & Tears - Blood, Sweat & Tears
140. Flying Burrito Brothers – Gilded Palace of Sin
141. Johnny Cash – At San Quentin
142. Creedence Clearwater Revival – Green River
143. The Beatles – Abbey Road
144. The Who – Tommy
145. Miles Davis – In a Silent Way
146. The Bee Gees – Odessa
147. Pentangle – Basket of Light
148. The Rolling Stones – Let it Bleed
149. Nick Drake – Five Leaves Left
150. Dusty Springfield – Dusty in Memphis
151. Elvis Presley – From Elvis in Memphis
152. Velvet Underground – Velvet Underground
153. Quicksilver Messenger Service – Happy Trails
154. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin
155. The Band – The Band
156. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin II
157. MC5 – Kick Out the Jams
158. The Temptations – Cloud Nine
159. Sly & the Family Stone – Stand!
160. Tim Buckley – Happy Sad
161. Chicago Transit Authority [Chicago] - Chicago Transit Authority
162. Fairport Convention – Unhalfbricking
163. The Youngbloods – Elephant Mountain
164. Isaac Hayes – Hot Buttered Soul
165. The Grateful Dead – Live/Dead
166. The Kinks – Arthur: Or the Decline & Fall of the British Empire
167. King Crimson – In the Court of the Crimson King
168. Leonard Cohen – Songs from a Room
169. Fairport Convention – Liege & Lief
170. Scott Walker – Scott 4
171. The Stooges – The Stooges
172. Alexander 'Skip' Spence – Oar
173. Frank Zappa – Hot Rats

Total for the 1960s: 34/150

1970s
174. Creedence Clearwater Revival – Cosmo's Factory
175. Derek & the Dominos – Layla & Other Assorted Love Songs
176. Miles Davis – Bitches Brew
177. Spirit – Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus
178. Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
179. The Doors – Morrison Hotel
180. The Carpenters – Close to You
181. Stephen Still – Stephen Stills
182. John Lennon – Plastic Ono Band
183. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Déjà vu
184. Black Sabbath – Paranoid
185. Neil Young – After the Gold Rush
186. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin III
187. Deep Purple – In Rock
188. Van Morrison – Moondance
189. The Grateful Dead – American Beauty
190. Nick Drake – Bryter Layter
191. Ananda Shankar – Ananda Shankar
192. The Who – Live at Leeds
193. Soft Machine – Third
194. Rod Stewart – Gasoline Alley
195. George Harrison – All Things Must Pass
196. Simon & Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water
197. Cat Stevens – Tea for the Tillerman
198. Traffic – John Barleycorn Must Die
199. The Stooges – Fun House
200. Paul McCartney – McCartney
201. Santana – Abraxas
202. Syd Barrett – Madcap Laughs
203. Jethro Tull – Aqualung
204. David Crosby – If Only I Could Remember My Name
205. Sly & the Family Stone – There's a Riot Goin' On
206. Marvin Gaye – What's Going On
207. Yes – Yes Album
208. The Bee Gees – Trafalgar
209. The Who – Who's Next
210. Carole King – Tapestry
211. Isaac Hayes – Shaft: Music from the Soundtrack
212. The Allman Brothers Band – At Fillmore East
213. The Rolling Stones – Sticky Fingers
214. John Lennon – Imagine
215. The Beach Boys – Surf's Up
216. Yes – Fragile
217. The Doors – LA Woman
218. Can – Tago Mago
219. Elton John – Madman Across the Water
220. Dolly Parton – Coat of Many Colors
221. Don McLean – American Pie
222. Emerson, Lake & Palmer – Tarkus
223. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin IV [aka Untitled / aka Four Symbols]
224. Serge Gainsbourg – Histoire de Melody Nelson
225. Rod Stewart – Every Picture Tells a Story
226. Emerson, Lake & Palmer – Pictures at an Exhibition
227. Leonard Cohen – Songs of Love & Hate
228. Joni Mitchell – Blue
229. Funkadelic – Maggot Brain
230. Janis Joplin – Pearl
231. Fela Kuti - With Ginger Baker: Live!
232. Faces – A Nod is as Good as a Wink… To a Blind Horse
233. Flamin' Groovies – Teenage Head
234. Gene Clark – White Light
235. John Prine – John Prine
236. Harry Nilsson – Nilsson Schmilsson
237. T. Rex – Electric Warrior
238. David Bowie – Hunky Dory
239. Randy Newman – Sail Away
240. Deep Purple – Machine Head
241. Big Star – # 1 Record
242. Black Sabbath – Vol 4
243. Steely Dan – Can't Buy a Thrill
244. Neil Young – Harvest
245. Curtis Mayfield – Superfly: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
246. Slade – Slayed?
247. Deep Purple – Made in Japan
248. Yes – Close to the Edge
249. Lou Reed – Transformer
250. Hugh Masekela – Home is Where the Music Is
251. Milton Nascimento & Lo Borges – Clube da Esquina
252. Todd Rundgren – Something/Anything
253. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band – Will the Circle Be Unbroken?
254. Stevie Wonder – Talking Book
255. Stephen Stills – Manassas
256. T. Rex – Slider
257. David Acklesd – American Gothic
258. The Eagles – The Eagles
259. Tim Buckley – Greetings from LA
260. Nick Drake – Pink Moon
261. Paul Simon – Paul Simon
262. Roxy Music – Roxy Music
263. Alice Cooper – School's Out
264. The Temptations – All Directions
265. David Bowie – Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
266. War – World is a Ghetto
267. Al Green – Let's Stay Together
268. The Rolling Stones – Exile on Main St
269. Lynyrd Skynyrd – Pronounced Leh-nerd Skin-nerd
270. Incredible Bongo Band – Bongo Rock
271. David Bowie – Aladdin Sane
272. King Crimson – Lark's Tongues in Aspic
273. Bob Marley & the Wailers – Catch a Fire
274. Hawkwind – Space Ritual
275. John Cale – Paris 1919
276. Can – Future Days
277. Lou Reed – Berlin
278. Genesis – Selling England by the Pound
279. Marvin Gaye – Let's Get it On
280. John Martyn – Solid Air
281. Roxy Music – For Your Pleasure
282. Faust – IV
283. Herbie Hancock – Head Hunters
284. Mott the Hoople – Mott
285. Mike Oldfield – Tubular Bells
286. Todd Rundgren – A Wizard, a True Star
287. Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
288. Steely Dan – Countdown to Ecstasy
289. Waylon Jennings – Honky Tonk Heroes
290. Pink Floyd – Dark Side of the Moon
291. Stevie Wonder – Innervisions
292. ZZ Top – Tres Hombres
293. Paul McCartney – Band on the Run
294. Sensational Alex Harvey Band – Next
295. Alice Cooper – Billion Dollar Babies
296. The Stooges – Raw Power
297. Isley Brothers – 3 + 3
298. New York Dolls – New York Dolls
299. Brian Eno – Here Come the Warm Jets
300. Bad Company – Bad Company
301. Genesis – Lamb Lies Down on Broadway
302. Shuggie Otis – Inspiration Information
303. Stevie Wonder – Fullfillingness' First Finale
304. Eric Clapton – 461 Ocean Boulevard
305. Kraftwerk – Autobahn
306. Van Morrison – It's Too Late to Stop Now
307. Joni Mitchell – Court & Spark
308. Queen – II
309. Roxy Music – Country Life
310. Tangerine Dream – Phaedra
311. Sparks – Kimono My House
312. Supertramp – Crime of the Century
313. Richard & Linda Thompson – I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight
314. Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson – Winter in America
315. Queen – Sheer Heart Attack
316. 10cc – Sheet Music
317. Neil Young – On the Beach
318. George Jones – Grand Tour
319. Gene Clark – No Other
320. Steely Dan – Pretzel Logic
321. Randy Newman – Good Old Boys
322. Bob Marley & the Wailers – Natty Dread
323. Robert Wyatt – Rock Bottom
324. Gram Parsons – Grievous Angel
325. Brian Eno – Another Green World
326. Dictators – Go Girl Crazy!
327. Neu! – '75
328. Led Zeppelin – Physical Graffiti
329. Keith Jarrett – Köln Concert
330. Aerosmith – Toys in the Attic
331. David Bowie – Young Americans
332. Burning Spear – Marcus Garvey
333. Bruce Springsteen – Born to Run
334. Emmylou Harris – Pieces of the Sky
335. Dion – Born to Be With You
336. Joni Mitchell – Hissing of Summer Lawns
337. Rahul Dev Burman – Shalimar (Soundtrack)
338. Neil Young – Tonight's the Night
339. Bob Dylan – Blood on the Tracks
340. Patti Smith – Horses
341. Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here
342. Queen – A Night at the Opera
343. Willie Nelson – Red Headed Stranger
344. Earth, Wind & Fire – That's the Way of the World
345. Curtis Mayfield – There's No Place Like America Today
346. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
347. Modern Lovers – Modern Lovers
348. David Bowie – Station to Station
349. Joni Mitchell – Hejira
350. Boston – Boston
351. Eagles – Hotel California
352. ABBA – Arrival
353. Kiss – Destroyer
354. Rush – 2112
355. Jorge Ben – África Brasil
356. Joan Armatrading – Joan Armatrading
357. Aerosmith – Rocks
358. Parliament – Mothership Connection
359. Penguin Café Orchestra – Music from the Penguin Café
360. Jarre, Jean Michel – Oxygene
361. The Ramones – The Ramones
362. Fela Kuti – Zombie
363. Peter Tosh – Legalize It
364. Stevie Wonder – Songs in the Key of Life
365. Peter Frampton – Frampton Comes Alive
366. Brian Eno – Before & After Science
367. Kraftwerk – Trans-Europe Express
368. Billy Joel – The Stranger
369. Bob Marley & the Wailers – Exodus
370. Electric Light Orchestra – Out of the Blue
371. Weather Report – Heavy Weather
372. Muddy Waters – Hard Again
373. Stranglers – Rattus Norvegicus
374. The Clash – The Clash
375. David Bowie – Low
376. Steely Dan – Aja
377. Wire – Pink Flag
378. John Martyn – One World
379. Talking Heads – 77
380. Fleetwood Mac – Rumours
381. David Bowie – 'Heroes'
382. Dennis Wilson – Pacific Ocean Blue
383. Suicide – Suicide
384. Iggy Pop – The Idiot
385. Peter Gabriel – Peter Gabriel
386. Television – Marquee Moon
387. Meat Loaf – Bat Out of Hell
388. Elvis Costello – My Aim is True
389. Iggy Pop – Lust for Life
390. Ian Dury – New Boots & Panties!!
391. Sex Pistols – Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols
392. Pere Ubu – Modern Dance
393. Kraftwerk – Man Machine
394. Blondie – Parallel Lines
395. Elís Regina – Vento de Maio
396. Pere Ubu – Dub Housing
397. Only Ones – Only Ones
398. Elvis Costello – This Year's Model
399. Jam – All Mod Cons
400. Joe Ely – Honky Tonk Masquerade
401. The Adverts – Crossing the Red Sea with The Adverts
402. Big Star – Third (aka Sister Lovers)
403. The Residents – Duck Stab/Buster & Glen
404. Public Image Ltd – Public Image
405. Magazine – Real Life
406. Bruce Springsteen – Darkness on the Edge of Town
407. Funkadelic – One Nation Under a Groove
408. Throbbing Gristle – DOA: Third & Final Report
409. Thin Lizzy – Live & Dangerous
410. Talking Heads – More Songs About Buildings & Food
411. The Buzzcocks – Another Music in a Different Kitchen
412. Van Halen – Van Halen
413. Willie Colón & Rubén Blades – Siembra
414. The Cars – The Cars
415. Devo – Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo
416. Dire Straits – Dire Straits
417. Saints – Eternally Yours
418. Marvin Gaye – Here, My Dear
419. Willie Nelson – Stardust
420. Chic – C'est Chic
421. X-ray Spex – Germ Free Adolescents
422. Brian Eno – Ambient 1: Music for Airports
423. Siouxsie & the Banshees – Scream, the
424. AC/DC – Highway to Hell
425. Sister Sledge – We Are Family
426. The Crusaders – Street Life
427. The Germs – GI
428. The B52s – The B52s
429. Holger Czukay – Movies
430. The Police – Reggatta de Blanc
431. The Fall – Live at the Witch Trials
432. Talking Heads – Fear of Music
433. Joy Division – Unknown Pleasures
434. Chic – Risqué
435. The Undertones – The Undertones
436. The Clash – London Calling
437. Japan – Quiet Life
438. Marianne Faithfull – Broken English
439. The Slits – Cut
440. Elvis Costello – Armed Forces
441. Neil Young – Rust Never Sleeps
442. Gang of Four – Entertainment!
443. Cheap Trick – At Budokan
444. Fleetwood Mac – Tusk
445. Pink Floyd – The Wall
446. Public Image Ltd – Metal Box
447. Michael Jackson – Off the Wall
448. The Damned – Machine Gun Etiquette
449. Gary Numan – Pleasure Principle
450. The Specials – The Specials

Total for the 1970s: 45/277

1980s
451. Adam & the Ants – Kings of the Wild Frontier
452. Dexys Midnight Runners – Searching for the Young Soul Rebels
453. AC/DC – Back in Black
454. The Cramps – Songs the Lord Taught Us
455. The Dead Kennedys – Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
456. Peter Gabriel – Peter Gabriel (III)
457. The Soft Boys – Underwater Moonlight
458. The Cure – Seventeen Seconds
459. Echo & The Bunnymen – Crocodiles
460. Motörhead – Ace of Spades
461. Killing Joke – Killing Joke
462. Judas Priest – British Steel
463. Circle Jerks – Group Sex
464. Talking Heads – Remain in Light
465. Joy Division – Closer
466. Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden
467. The Undertones – Hypnotised
468. Jam – Sound Affects
469. Tom Waits – Heartattack & Vine
470. UB40 – Signing Off
471. Teardrop Explodes – Kilimanjaro
472. The Specials – More Specials
473. Steve Winwood – Arc of a Diver
474. The Pretenders – The Pretenders
475. Einstürzende Neubauten – Kollaps
476. Siouxsie & the Banshees – Juju
477. Heaven 17 – Penthouse & Pavement
478. The Go-Gos – Beauty & the Beat
479. Motörhead – No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith
480. Soft Cell – Non Stop Erotic Cabaret
481. Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark – Architecture & Morality
482. Brian Eno & David Byrne – My Life in the Bush of Ghosts
483. Black Flag – Damaged
484. X – Wild Gift
485. The Psychedelic Furs – Talk, Talk, Talk
486. Human League – Dare
487. Gun Club – Fire of Love
488. Bauhaus – Mask
489. Bobby Womack – Poet
490. Tom Tom Club – Tom Tom Club
491. Rush – Moving Pictures
492. ABBA – Visitors
493. ABC – Lexicon of Love
494. Prince – 1999
495. Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five – Message, the
496. Elvis Costello – Imperial Bedroom
497. The Cure – Pornography
498. Dexys Midnight Runners – Too Rye Ay
499. Simple Minds – New Gold Dream (81, 82, 83, 84)
500. Madness – Rise & Fall
501. Donald Fagen – Nightfly
502. Haircut One Hundred – Pelican West
503. Kate Bush – The Dreaming
504. Orange Juice – Rip it Up
505. Michael Jackson – Thriller
506. Birthday Party – Junkyard
507. Venom – Black Metal
508. Bruce Springsteen – Nebraska
509. The Associates – Sulk
510. Iron Maiden – Number of the Beast
511. Duran Duran – Rio
512. Violent Femmes – Violent Femmes
513. Malcolm McLaren – Duck Rock
514. Def Leppard – Pyromania
515. REM – Murmur
516. The The – Soul Mining
517. Tom Waits – Swordfishtrombones
518. Blue Nile – A Walk Across the Rooftops
519. Hanoi Rocks – Back to Mystery City
520. Cyndi Lauper – She's So Unusual
521. Paul Simon – Hearts & Bones
522. Echo & the Bunnymen – Porcupine
523. ZZ Top – Eliminator
524. The Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)
525. U2 – War
526. The Police – Synchronicity
527. Meat Puppets – II
528. Culture Club – Colour by Numbers
529. Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Welcome to the Pleasuredome
530. Run DMC – Run DMC
531. Sade – Diamond Life
532. Cocteau Twins – Treasure
533. Minor Threat – Out of Step
534. Van Halen – 1984
535. Prince – Purple Rain
536. The Replacements – Let it Be
537. Style Council – Café Bleu
538. Tina Turner – Private Dancer
539. Echo & the Bunnymen – Ocean Rain
540. The Minutemen – Double Nickels on the Dime
541. Lloyd Cole & the Commotions – Rattlesnakes
542. Youssou N'Dour – Immigrés
543. Bruce Springsteen – Born in the USA
544. The Fall – This Nation's Saving Grace
545. Abdullah Ibrahim – Water from an Ancient Well
546. Aha – Hunting High & Low
547. Tears for Fears – Songs from the Big Chair
548. Dire Straits – Brothers in Arms
549. Prefab Sprout – Steve McQueen (aka Two Wheels Good)
550. Mekons – Fear & Whiskey
551. Big Black – Atomizer
552. Suzanne Vega – Suzanne Vega
553. The Pogues – Rum, Sodomy & the Lash
554. Kate Bush – Hounds of Love
555. The Smiths – Meat is Murder
556. Tom Waits – Rain Dogs
557. Jesus & Mary Chain – Psychocandy
558. New Order – Low Life
559. Simply Red – Picture Book
560. Dexys Midnight Runners – Don't Stand Me Down
561. Scritti Politti – Cupid & Psyche 85
562. Elvis Costello – Blood & Chocolate
563. Afrika Bambaataa & the Soul Sonic Force – Planet Rock: The Album
564. Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill
565. Metallica – Master of Puppets
566. The The – Infected
567. Nanci Griffith – Last of the True Believers
568. Billy Bragg – Talking with the Taxman About Poetry
569. Talk Talk – Colour of Spring
570. Megadeth – Peace Sells… But Who's Buying?
571. Bon Jovi – Slippery When Wet
572. Sonic Youth – Evol
573. Slayer – Reign in Blood
574. Throwing Muses – Throwing Muses
575. Paul Simon – Graceland
576. Run DMC – Raising Hell
577. XTC – Skylarking
578. Steve Earle – Guitar Town
579. Bad Brains – I Against I
580. Anita Baker – Rapture
581. The Smiths – Queen is Dead
582. Peter Gabriel – So
583. Anthrax – Among the Living
584. Dinosaur Jr. – You're Living All Over Me
585. Dolly Parton with Linda Ronstadt & Emmylou Harris – Trio
586. Def Leppard – Hysteria
587. REM – Document
588. Prince – Sign 'O' the Times
589. The Cult – Electric
590. Depeche Mode – Music for the Masses
591. Sisters of Mercy – Floodland
592. George Michael – Faith
593. Hüsker Dü – Warehouse: Songs & Stories
594. Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician
595. Astor Piazzolla & Gary Burton – New Tango
596. The Smiths – Strangeways Here We Come
597. Guns N' Roses – Appetite for Destruction
598. Jesus & Mary Chain – Darklands
599. Ladysmith Black Mambazo – Shaka Zulu
600. Laibach – Opus Dei
601. Napalm Death – Scum
602. Sonic Youth – Sister
603. Triffids – Calenture
604. Michael Jackson – Bad
605. Pet Shop Boys – Actually
606. U2 – Joshua Tree
607. Terence Trent D'Arby – Introducing the Hardline According to Terence Trent D'Arby
608. The Pogues – If I Should Fall from Grace with God
609. Leonard Cohen – I'm Your Man
610. Waterboys – Fisherman's Blues
611. Fishbone – Truth & Soul
612. Everything But the Girl – Idlewild
613. Living Colour – Vivid
614. Mudhoney – Superfuzz Bigmuff
615. REM – Green
616. Happy Mondays – Bummed
617. Go Betweens – 16 Lovers Lane
618. Cowboy Junkies – Trinity Session
619. Tracy Chapman – Tracy Chapman
620. My Bloody Valentine – Isn't Anything
621. The Pixies – Surfer Rosa
622. Metallica – And Justice for All
623. Dinosaur Jr. – Bug
624. Dagmar Krause – Tank Battles
625. k.d. lang – Shadowland
626. American Music Club – California
627. Morrissey – Viva Hate
628. Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation
629. The Sugarcubes – Life's Too Good
630. Dwight Yoakam – Beuenas Noches from a Lonely Room
631. Jane's Addiction – Nothing's Shocking
632. Public Enemy – It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
633. Faith No More – The Real Thing
634. Lenny Kravitz – Let Love Rule
635. John Lee Hooker – The Healer
636. New Order – Technique
637. Madonna – Like a Prayer
638. Queen Latifah – All Hail the Queen
639. Spacemen 3 – Playing with Fire
640. fIREHOSE – fROMOHIO
641. Beastie Boys – Paul's Boutique
642. Young Gods – l'Eau Rouge
643. John Zorn – Spy vs. Spy: Music of Ornette Coleman
644. Stone Roses – Stone Roses
645. Neneh Cherry – Raw Like Sushi
646. Baaba Maal & Mansour Seck – Djam Leelii
647. Kate Bush – Sensual World
648. The Cure – Disintegration
649. 808 State – 808:90
650. Coldcut – What's That Noise?
651. Barry Adamson – Moss Side Story
652. Aerosmith – Pump
653. The Pixies – Doolittle
654. Bonnie Raitt – Nick of Time
655. Fugazi – Repeater
656. Soul II Soul – Club Classics: Vol One
657. De La Soul – 3 Feet High & Rising
658. Janet Jackson – Rhythm Nation 1814
659. Jungle Brothers – Done by the Forces of Nature
660. N.W.A. – Straight Outta Compton

Total for the 1980s: 23/210

1990s

661. Cocteau Twins – Heaven or Las Vegas
662. Shamen – En-Tact
663. Deee Lite – World Clique
664. The La's – The La's
665. The Black Crowes – Shake Your Money Maker
666. Depeche Mode – Violator
667. The Pixies – Bossanova
668. Megadeth – Rust in Peace
669. Digital Underground – Sex Packets
670. Pet Shop Boys – Behaviour
671. Happy Mondays – Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches
672. George Michael – Listen Without Prejudice: Vol 1
673. Neil Young – Ragged Glory
674. Ice Cube – AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted
675. Jane's Addiction – Ritual de lo Habitual
676. LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out
677. Public Enemy – Fear of a Black Planet
678. Sinéad O'Connor – I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got
679. A Tribe Called Quest – People's Instinctive Travels & the Paths of Rhythm
680. Sonic Youth – Goo
681. Ride – Nowhere
682. My Bloody Valentine – Loveless
683. Nirvana – Nevermind
684. Crowded House – Woodface
685. Cypress Hill – Cypress Hill
686. Julian Cope – Peggy Suicide
687. Gang Starr – Step in the Arena
688. MC Solaar - Qui Sème le Vent Récolte le Tempo
689. Jah Wobble – Rising Above Bedlam
690. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Blood Sugar Sex Magik
691. Ice T – OG: Original Gangster
692. Mudhoney – Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge
693. Public Enemy – Apocalypse 91… Enemy Strikes Back
694. A Tribe Called Quest – Low End Theory
695. Pearl Jam – Ten
696. Saint Etienne – Foxbase Alpha
697. Sepultura – Arise
698. Slint – Spiderland
699. U2 – Achtung Baby
700. KLF – White Room
701. Massive Attack – Blue Lines
702. Primal Scream – Screamadelica
703. Teenage Fanclub – Bandwagonesque
704. Metallica – Metallica [aka Black Album]
705. Pavement – Slanted & Enchanted
706. Aphex Twin – Selected Ambient Works 85-92
707. Arrested Development – 3 Years, 5 Months & 2 Days in the Life of…
708. Koffi Olomidé – Haut de Gamme: Koweït, Rive Gauche
709. Morrissey – Your Arsenal
710. Baaba Maal – Lam Toro
711. The Lemonheads – It's a Shame About Ray
712. Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine
713. Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy – Hypocrisy is the Greatest Luxury
714. k.d. lang – Ingénue
715. Dr. Dre – The Chronic
716. REM – Automatic for the People
717. Pharcyde – Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde
718. Spiritualized – Lazer Guided Melodies
719. Sugar – Copper Blue
720. Tom Waits – Bone Machine
721. Sonic Youth – Dirty
722. Stereo MCs – Connected
723. Ministry – Psalm 69 (Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs)
724. Tori Amos – Little Earthquakes
725. Ice Cube – Predator
726. Pantera – Vulgar Display of Power
727. Alice in Chains – Dirt
728. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Henry's Dream, by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
729. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan – Devotional Songs
730. P.J. Harvey – Dry
731. Suede – Suede
732. Paul Weller – Wild Wood
733. Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream
734. Auteurs – New Wave
735. Liz Phair – Exile in Guyville
736. Afghan Whigs – Gentlemen
737. Aimee Mann – Whatever
738. Grant Lee Buffalo – Fuzzy
739. Nirvana – In Utero
740. Jamiroquai – Emergency on Planet Earth
741. Pet Shop Boys – Very
742. P.J. Harvey – Rid of Me
743. Blur – Modern Life is Rubbish
744. Sheryl Crow – Tuesday Night Music Club
745. The Fall – Infotainment Scan
746. Wu Tang Clan – Enter the Wu Tang (36 Chambers)
747. Björk – Debut
748. Orbital – Orbital [aka Brown Album]
749. Snoop Doggy Dogg – Doggystyle
750. Sebadoh – Bubble & Scrape
751. Boo Radleys – Giant Steps
752. William Orbit – Strange Cargo: III
753. Method Man – Tical
754. Frank Black – Teenager of the Year
755. Girls Against Boys – Venus Luxure No 1 Baby
756. Jeru the Damaja – Sun Rises in the East
757. Pavement – Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
758. Portishead – Dummy
759. Sabres of Paradise – Haunted Dancehall
760. Nas – Illmatic
761. Beastie Boys – Ill Communication
762. Elvis Costello – Brutal Youth
763. Morrissey – Vauxhall & I
764. TLC – CrazySexyCool
765. Oasis – Definitely Maybe
766. Soundgarden – Superunknown
767. Offspring – Smash
768. Drive Like Jehu – Yank Crime
769. Blur – Parklife
770. G Love & Special Sauce - G Love & Special Sauce
771. Ali Farka Touré – Talking Timbuktu
772. Hole – Live Through This
773. Massive Attack – Protection
774. Manic Street Preachers – Holy Bible
775. Suede – Dog Man Star
776. Notorious B.I.G. – Ready to Die
777. Jeff Buckley – Grace
778. Orbital – Snivilisation
779. Nirvana – MTV Unplugged in New York
780. Nine Inch Nails – Downward Spiral
781. Prodigy – Music for the Jilted Generation
782. Green Day – Dookie
783. Foo Fighters – Foo Fighters
784. Garbage – Garbage
785. Nightmares on Wax – Smokers Delight
786. Tricky – Maxinquaye
787. Raekwon – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx
788. Smashing Pumpkins – Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness
789. Rocket from the Crypt – Scream, Dracula, Scream
790. Chemical Brothers – Exit Planet Dust
791. 2Pac – Me Against the World
792. Elastica – Elastica
793. Supergrass – I Should Coco
794. Radiohead – The Bends
795. Guided by Voices – Alien Lanes
796. Femi Kuti – Femi Kuti
797. The Verve – A Northern Soul
798. Genius GZA – Liquid Swords
799. Pulp – Different Class
800. Leftfield – Leftism
801. D'Angelo – Brown Sugar
802. Oasis – (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
803. Goldie – Timeless
804. Alanis Morissette – Jagged Little Pill
805. Screaming Trees – Dust
806. Super Furry Animals – Fuzzy Logic
807. Fatboy Slim – Better Living Through Chemistry
808. Dr. Octagon – Dr. Octagonecologyst
809. Stereolab – Emperor Tomato Ketchup
810. Tortoise – Millions Now Living Will Never Die
811. Beck – Odelay
812. Belle & Sebastian – Tigermilk
813. DJ Shadow – Endtroducing
814. Eels – Beautiful Freak
815. Divine Comedy – Casanova
816. Fiona Apple – Tidal
817. Wilco – Being There
818. Sepultura – Roots
819. Barry Adamson – Oedipus Schmoedipus
820. Fun Lovin' Criminals – Come Find Yourself
821. Maxwell – Urban Hang Suite
822. The Charlatans – Tellin' Stories
823. Manic Street Preachers – Everything Must Go
824. Everything But the Girl – Walking Wounded
825. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – Murder Ballads
826. LTJ Bukem – Logical Progression
827. Underworld – Second Toughest in the Infants
828. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – Now I Got Worry
829. The Cardigans – First Band on the Moon
830. Marilyn Manson – Antichrist Superstar
831. The Fugees – The Score
832. Ash – 1977
833. Belle & Sebastian – If You're Feeling Sinister
834. Blur – Blur
835. Radiohead – OK Computer
836. Finley Quaye – Maverick a Strike
837. Missy Misdemeanor Elliott – Supa Dupa Fly
838. Chemical Brothers – Dig Your Own Hole
839. Primal Scream – Vanishing Point
840. Robert Wyatt – Shleep
841. David Holmes – Let's Get Killed
842. Sleater Kinney – Dig Me Out
843. Prodigy – Fat of the Land
844. Buena Vista Social Club - Buena Vista Social Club
845. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Boatman's Call
846. Divine Comedy – A Short Album About Love
847. Cornershop – When I was Born for the 7th Time
848. Daft Punk – Homework
849. Robbie Williams – Life Thru a Lens
850. Mariah Carey – Butterfly
851. Supergrass – In it for the Money
852. Bob Dylan – Time Out of Mind
853. Roni Size & Reprazent – New Forms
854. Elliott Smith – Either/Or
855. The Verve – Urban Hymns
856. Spiritualized – Ladies & Gentlemen, We are Floating in Space
857. Dandy Warhols – Dandy Warhols
858. Bob Dylan – Bootleg Series Vol 4: Live 1966
859. Manu Chao – Clandestino
860. Billy Bragg & Wilco – Mermaid Avenue
861. Turbonegro – Apocalypse Dudes
862. Fatboy Slim – You've Come a Long Way, Baby
863. David Gray – White Ladder
864. Lucinda Williams – Car Wheels on a Gravel Road
865. Pulp – This is Hardcore
866. Madonna – Ray of Light
867. Lauryn Hill – Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
868. Hole – Celebrity Skin
869. Mercury Rev – Deserter's Songs
870. System of a Down - System of a Down
871. Queen of the Stone Age - Queen of the Stone Age
872. Air – Moon Safari
873. Talvin Singh – OK
874. Korn – Follow the Leader
875. Cheb Khalèd – Kenza
876. Kid Rock – Devil Without a Cause
877. Boards of Canada – Music Has the Right to Children
878. Suba - São Paulo Confessions
879. XTC – Apple Venus: Volume 1
880. Skunk Anansie – Post Orgasmic Chill
881. Incubus – Make Yourself
882. Magnetic Fields – 69 Love Songs
883. Travis – Man Who
884. Slipknot – Slipknot
885. Beth Orton – Central Reservation
886. Nitin Sawhney – Beyond Skin
887. Death in Vegas – Contino Sessions
888. Moby – Play
889. The Flaming Lips – Soft Bulletin
890. les Rhymes Digitales – Darkdancer
891. le Tigre – le Tigre
892. Eminem – Slim Shady LP
893. Britney Spears – Baby One More Time
894. Metallica – S&M
895. Bonnie Prince Billy – I See a Darkness
896. Shack – HMS Fable
897. Basement Jaxx – Remedy
898. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Californication
899. Sigur Rós – Ágætis Byrjun

Total for the 1990s: 21/239

2000s
900. Doves – Lost Souls
901. Air – Virgin Suicides: Original Motion Picture Score
902. Ryan Adams – Heartbreaker
903. Bebel Gilberto – Tanto Tempo
904. MJ Cole – Sincere
905. Emmylou Harris – Red Dirt Girl
906. Limp Bizkit – Chocolate Starfish & the Hot Dog Flavored Water
907. Radiohead – Kid A
908. U2 – All That You Can't Leave Behind
909. Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory
910. Elliott Smith – Figure 8
911. Badly Drawn Boy – Hour of Bewilderbeast
912. P.J. Harvey – Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
913. Erykah Badu – Mama's Gun
914. Coldplay – Parachutes
915. Common – Like Water for Chocolate
916. Mike Ladd – Welcome to the Afterfuture
917. Red Snapper – Our Aim is to Satisfy
918. Eminem – Marshall Mathers LP
919. Goldfrapp – Felt Mountain
920. Giant Sand – Chore of Enchantment
921. Lambchop – Nixon
922. Ute Lemper – Punishing Kiss
923. Madonna – Music
924. Avalanches – Since I Left You
925. OutKast – Stankonia
926. Radiohead – Amnesiac
927. Silver Jews – Bright Flight
928. Björk – Vespertine
929. Gorillaz – Gorillaz
930. Ryan Adams – Gold
931. Destiny's Child – Survivor
932. The Strokes – Is This It
933. Gillian Welch – Time (The Revelator)
934. Gotan Project – la Revancha del Tango
935. The White Stripes – White Blood Cells
936. Beta Band – Hot Shots II
937. Jay Z – Blueprint
938. Röyksopp – Melody AM
939. Drive-By Truckers – Southern Rock Opera
940. Super Furry Animals – Rings Around the World
941. Jurassic 5 – Power in Numbers
942. Wilco – Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
943. Ms. Dynamite – A Little Deeper
944. Bees – Sunshine Hit Me
945. Norah Jones – Come Away with Me
946. Coldplay – A Rush of Blood to the Head
947. Coral – Coral
948. Johnny Cash – American IV: Man Comes Around
949. The Flaming Lips – Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
950. Doves – Last Broadcast
951. Missy Elliott – Under Construction
952. Bruce Springsteen – The Rising
953. Christina Aguilera – Stripped
954. The Roots – Phrenology
955. Beck – Sea Change
956. Justin Timberlake – Justified
957. The Vines – Highly Evolved
958. The Hives – Your New Favourite Band
959. Radiohead – Hail to the Thief
960. Amy Winehouse – Frank
961. Calexico – Feast of Wire
962. The Darkness – Permission to Land
963. The White Stripes – Elephant
964. Dizzee Rascal – Boy in da Corner
965. Kings of Leon – Youth & Young Manhood
966. The Thrills – So Much for the City
967. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Fever to Tell
968. OutKast – Speakerboxxx/Love Below
969. 50 Cent – Get Rich or Die Tryin'
970. The Mars Volta – Deloused in the Comatorium
971. Lightning Bolt – Wonderful Rainbow
972. Rufus Wainwright – Want One
973. Scissor Sisters – Scissor Sisters
974. Morrissey – You Are the Quarry
975. Björk – Medúlla
976. Mylo – Destroy Rock & Roll
977. Brian Wilson – Smile
978. Icarus Line – Penance Soirée
979. Arcade Fire – Funeral
980. Devandra Banhart – Rejoicing in the Hands
981. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Abattoir Blues/Lyre of Orpheus
982. Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand
983. N*E*R*D – Fly or Die
984. Beta Band – Heroes to Zeros
985. Ozamatli – Street Signs
986. Libertines – Libertines
987. Kanye West – College Dropout
988. Cee-Lo Green – Is the Soul Machine
989. TV on the Radio – Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes
990. The Liars – They Were Wrong, So We Drowned
991. The Streets – A Grand Don't Come for Free
992. Rufus Wainwright – Want Two
993. The Zutons – Who Killed the Zutons?
994. The Killers – Hot Fuss
995. Kings of Leon – Aha Shake Heartbreak
996. MIA (UK) – Arular
997. Beck – Guero
998. The White Stripes – Get Behind Me Satan
999. Pink – I'm Not Dead
1000. Amy Winehouse – Back to Black
1001. Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
1002. Christina Aguilera – Back to Basics
1003. Radiohead – In Rainbows
1004. M.I.A. – Kala
1005. Joanna Newsom –Ys

Total for the 2000s: 17/105

Total: 134/1005

Frankly, that's a bit lower than I would have expected. Then again, I wasn't expecting that there would be four albums by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds on the list or three from Dexy's Midnight Runners, but only one Tom Petty album.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

The Lost Weekend, Chicago Edition

Labor Day has passed, and my cadre of white pants has been relegated to the storage bin for the next nine months. It was quite an exciting weekend all around. Dave, friend of mine from college who recently separated from his wife, was in town visiting from North Carolina (or "Cakalakee," as the locals down there call it). He was staying with a buddy named Brandon, who lives near Clark and Wrightwood. This location will hold some significance later on in the story, so please commit it to memory.

Saturday night, a bunch of us went to Rocks to eat and drink, as is the custom. After Rocks, Brandon and a couple of his friends went to Schoolyard, while the rest of us (including Dave) went to Chi-Town Tap in order to increase the patronage in the bar by approximately 150%. After a beer there, most of us headed to our respective homes. Dave decided to meet up with Brandon and the others at Schoolyard.

After Jester and I got home from Chi-Town Tap, I texted Dave to say that he was welcome to stay with us Monday night. That was at 11:45 p.m.

I woke up around 10 Sunday morning, unrefreshed from another round of night terrors. I turned on my phone to find this text from Dave, in response to my 11:45 text, which had been awaiting me since 5 a.m.: "What is Monday bigh sadly I'd raterh b sancibg w u bur …." I replied with "What?," which was not responded to for several hours.

That afternoon, my mom, aunt, brother, and sister-in-law came into the city for a mid-afternoon Turkish feast at A La Turka. On our drive back to my place after linner (I assume that's what a meal at 3 p.m. is called), we came to the intersection of Wrightwood and Seminary. And there's Dave walking down Wrightwood with a cup of Starbucks in his hand. I thought it was odd, since there are undoubtedly many Starbucks stores closer to Brandon's apartment than the one at Wrightwood and Racine from whence Dave had come. Regardless, we stopped and said hi, since my mom hadn't seen Dave in a few years. It appeared that Dave was not completely shitfaced.

After exchanging pleasantries and small talk for several minutes, we went on our separate ways. This story would be rather unremarkable if it were to stop here. However, as I learned later Sunday night from Dave, there was a curious set of circumstances that led Dave from the Chi-Town Tap at 11:30 Sunday to the corner of Wrightwood and Seminary at 5:30 Sunday.

Dave apparently did some shots when he arrived at Schoolyard. Brandon, Dave, and a couple other guys later went to Frank's, a late-night bar on Clark a couple blocks from where Brandon lives. Dave does not recall going to Frank's. He does not recall leaving Frank's. He does not recall why he did not leave Frank's with Brandon. What he does recall is waking up sometime around 7 or 8 on someone's back porch. He does not recall how he got there or whose porch this was. He was also without his debit card.

After making a stealth exit, he reached for his phone to find out it was dead. Nonetheless, he grabbed a cab and told the cabbie to take him to "Clark and Lakewood." For you non-Chicagoans, Clark is a diagonal street for a large stretch, and Lakewood essentially runs parallel to Clark. If the two streets were to meet -- which they don't -- it would be several miles north of Brandon's apartment near the intersection of Wrightwood and Clark.

The cabbie drove Dave north on Clark, past Wrigley Field, before telling Dave that the two streets did not intersect. Dave then just asked the cabbie to take him down Lakewood, and maybe that would spark Dave's memory. It didn't. Eventually, Dave got out of the cab and found himself at Bird's Nest, a bar at Southport and Altgeld (although Dave did not recall the name or location of the bar until Monday afternoon). This was at around 10 a.m. Dave asked the bartender if he could charge his phone on the bartender's laptop. The bartender obliged and told Dave that it was time to do some shots. Dave obliged. He then played darts and drank with the bartender for several hours, because she was "hot" and, well, he's on vacation, so he can pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants.

At around 2, Dave used the bathroom. It was at this point that he realized he was no longer wearing the boxers that he had been wearing the night before. So, at some point between blacking out at Schoolyard and waking up on a foreign porch, Dave took off his pants. As you might have guessed, Dave does not recall taking off his pants. There is one theory -- propounded by a man named Goni -- that Dave may have pissed himself inside the apartment attached to this porch and then been forced to sleep on the porch by whatever hobgoblin that may have inhabited said apartment. This theory has since been discredited, as Dave's shorts did not appear to be soaked in his own urine.

So, after drinking for a few (i.e., over six) hours while his phone charged, he decided to head back to Brandon's place, stopping at Starbucks on his way back. And that is when he happened to be crossing the street in front of my car Sunday afternoon.

Later that night, he went back to Frank's with hopes of retrieving his debit card. The bartender at Frank's remembered Dave from the night before as the guy to whom the bartender was serving double tall gin and tonics. Dave did indeed have a tab there the night before, but the bartender distinctly remembered giving Dave his card back.

Sadly, unlike The Hangover, there is no magic camera full of photos to recount the evening's events. Thus, Dave will never know if his debit card and boxers were taken by some hilariously perverse muggers or whether he was raped repeatedly or whether he humped a tiger or whether he peed all over himself (but only on his boxers).

Tuesday Top Ten: College Football Teams with the Best Chance of Going Undefeated

Week One of college football is in the books, and it was full of intrigue, upsets, and perfectly legitimate face punches. My Hoosiers have stormed out to 1-0, defeating the mighty Colonels of Eastern Kentucky by five more points than Iowa beat Northern Iowa. Remember what I said: Don't sleep on the Hoosiers.

Five teams in last week's Top 25 lost this weekend, including two in the top ten (Oklahoma and Virginia Tech). Currently, there are 22 undefeated teams in the Top 25. However, based on match-ups throughout the season, only 9 of the teams in the Top 25 can possibly end the season undefeated:

-Only one team each from the SEC, Big 12, and ACC can go undefeated because each of those conferences has a championship game. This means that, out of #1 Florida, #2 Texas, #4 Alabama, #5 Oklahoma State, #6 Mississippi, #11 LSU, #15 Georgia Tech, #19 North Carolina, #20 Miami (FL), #22 Nebraska, #24 Kansas, and #25 Missouri, only three can be undefeated.
-Only one team out of #9 BYU, #16 TCU, and #17 Utah can finish undefeated.
-Out of #3 USC, #10 Cal, and #18 Notre Dame, if the latter two can be undefeated, that means USC has two losses, but if USC goes undefeated, that means the other two can't. USC and #8 Ohio State play this weekend, so they both can't be undefeated. Also, #7 Penn State and Ohio State play later on, so they both can't be undefeated. Thus, out of those five teams, at most three can be undefeated.
-#12 Boise State and #23 Cincinnati can go undefeated without affecting anyone else who is currently in the Top 25.

With that as a backdrop, here are my choices for the ten teams who have the best chance of going undefeated in the regular season.

10. Notre Dame
I know what you're thinking: "GMYH, you hate Notre Dame, so how can you put them on this list?" You're damn right. I do hate Notre Dame. But they perennially play one of the easiest schedules, and this year is no exception. They have eight home games, and they play only one team that is currently ranked (USC). They also *appear* to be improved from last year's dominating 7-6 team. This is not to say that I think Notre Dame will go undefeated, and Lord knows I don't want them to win more than one game, but given the tough schedules than many of the other teams in the Top 25 play, the Irish backed into this list.
Game most likely to lose: USC (10/17)

9. TCU
The Horned Frogs are an under-the-radar team that can do some BCS busting if a few things go their way. They have two relatively tough non-conference games (at Virginia and at Clemson) that they should be able to win, and then two really tough in-conference games (at BYU and at home against Utah in mid-November). If they can pull an upset in Provo, look out.
Game most likely to lose: at BYU (10/24)

8. Cincinnati
The Big East is down this year, which means the Bearcats have a decent shot at running the table if they can win a tough road game against Oregon State on September 19. That's not to say it will be easy, as they have to play at South Florida and at Pitt, as well as at home against Illinois and West Virginia.
Game most likely to lose: at Oregon State (9/19)

7. Ohio State
Aside from two extremely tough games (this weekend's home contest against USC and a November 7 trip to Happy Valley), Ohio State's schedule it pretty light. They don't play Northwestern or Michigan State (both bowl teams last year), and if they can get past USC this weekend, they should roll through their remaining games leading up to the Penn State game with relative ease.
Game most likely to lose: USC (9/12)

6. USC
The Trojans have a big test this Saturday in Columbus, and then two scrimmages against the Washington schools before three seemingly tough road games in three weeks at Cal, Notre Dame, and Oregon. But this is USC we're talking about, so it should not surprise anyone if they finish the regular season without any losses.
Game most likely to lose: at Ohio State (9/12)

5. Cal
Could this be the year that the Bears finally overtake USC for the Pac-10 title? It just might be. While the Bears have tough road games at Minnesota and Oregon to finish out September (as well as a trip to Stanford in November), they only play one team that is currently ranked: USC.
Game most likely to lose: USC (10/3)

4. BYU
After the Cougars knocked off Oklahoma last weekend, they shot up eleven spots in the AP poll to #9. They are a good football team, and unlike several of the other teams in the top ten, they actually scheduled a tough non-conference slate (in addition to the OU game, they also play Florida State in two weeks). Better yet, they play the Mountain West's other two stalwarts -- TCU and Utah -- at home. The ghosts of Lavell Edwards's 1984 national champions may be resurrected, or whatever it is that Mormons do.
Game most likely to lose: Utah (11/28)

3. Florida
Florida's remaining non-conference schedule is pretty weak. Other than an in-state rivalry game with Florida State, the Gators play Troy and FIU. Also, they don't have to play Alabama or Mississippi this year, but they do have to play Georgia, as well as at LSU.
Game most likely to lose: at LSU (10/10)

2. Penn State
Penn State also has what I would deem a pathetic non-conference schedule for a Top 10 team (Akron, Syracuse, Temple, and Eastern Illinois), and the only other real challenge other than OSU should be a road game at Michigan State to end the season.
Game most likely to lose: Ohio State (11/7)

1. Boise State
After taking Oregon down last weekend, Boise State has the best shot of winning out. Sure, they play on the road against some bowl teams from last year (Fresno State, Tulsa, Hawaii, Louisiana Tech), but no one will be as tough as the team they beat in the first week. Unless the Broncos have an uncharacteristic slip in focus, they will be in a BCS bowl.Game most likely to lose: at Tulsa (10/14).

Friday, September 04, 2009

Will somebody please kill this man?


This raving cocksucker actually legally changed his first name to "King." Despite what the picture may imply, he did not legally change his last name to "Of the Douches."

Midwestern Eavesdropping - 9/4/09

Woman after concert, outside concert venue, with keys in hand, to friends: "Luckily you don't have to hear to drive, do you?"
--Chicago, Beat Kitchen, 2100 W. Belmont
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Quote in an article: "Why is it so hard to remain sexually active in a nursing home?"
--The Week magazine (8/14 issue)
Eavesdropper: Bonham

Two pregnant girls in car on way to Michigan for the weekend:
Pregnant girl 1: "Do you golf?"
Pregnant girl 2: "Yes."
Pregnant girl 1: "Oh, for some reason I thought you never had."
Pregnant girl 2: "Well, I guess I haven't ever actually golfed."
--somewhere on I-94 in Indiana
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Late twenties female to early thirties male: "You'll never be able to resist showing off your Zubaz, so I am not worried."
--Chicago, Wacker and Adams
Eavesdropper: Floppy Burrito

Girl: "What's that place on Beale Street with the frozen drinks?"
Guy: "I'm not sure."
Girl: "Well, wherever it was, I got shitfaced there on 151 shots, and then they convinced me to get a tattoo."
--in a car somewhere in southwest Michigan
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Girl: "Aren't the Dutch famous for their bread?"
Guy: "No, tulips and clogs."
Girl: "Oh. Maybe I'm thinking of Danishes."
--in a car somewhere in southwest Michigan
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Guy: "You gotta go to the Indy 500 to get a track loin."
Girl: "I've eaten plenty of Indiana loin."
--Stevensville, MI, Culver's
Eavesdropper: GMYH

And, as we do now and then on MWE, here are a couple pictures that are worthy of inclusion:
From the email sending the picture: "There is no way to go straight when the road T's. Maybe that is why the zoo is going out of business this summer."
--somewhere around Richmond, IN
Eavesdropper: Wee Wee

And the next picture, featuring an odd combination from Culver's:
--Stevensville, MI, Culver's
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thanks, as always, to those who contributed. If you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, and it will be included in the next hair-raising edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Watch the Kid in the Red Shirt

I guess this is what happens when you give your kids sugar and play hip hop music. Hilarious. This kid has some moves, notably the creepy eye-pointing and the well-timed ass slapping. FYI, the website listed in the bottom right hand corner is NOT safe for work. Thanks to Ari, via Jessie, for the link.

Tuesday Top Ten: Things I'm Looking Forward To This College Football Season

It's that time of year again. In a few short days, the 2009 college football season will kickoff, and I'm as giddy as a Chicago Public School girl whose parents forgot to send her to the first day of classes.

This season is particularly exciting because my daughter is due at the end of November. With a little luck, she can follow in the hallowed footsteps of her mother and father by being born on, or beginning to be born on, a college football Saturday. Myself, I was born in a Minneapolis hospital while Lee Corso's Hoosiers trounced #19 Minnesota 34-22 in front of 30,399 rabid Memorial Stadium fans. Take that, doctors and nurses! Less than two years later, Jester's mom's water broke at Camp Randall Stadium while she and Jester's dad were watching the hapless Badgers lose to UCLA before a capacity crowd. Despite her dad's pleadings and offering of a blanket, they went to the hospital, and Jester and Ari were born the next day to significant fanfare.

With that, here are the ten things I am most looking forward to this college football season:

10. The Forde Yard Dash. ESPN.com college football (and basketball) analyst Pat Forde's weekly column is always a good read. I just wish he'd do an APB on Vaughn Dunbar.

9. Ohio State finally getting busted for paying players.

8. Rich Rodriguez trying to dig himself and his exhausted players out of a hole.

7. USC continuing to skate unscathed.

6. Notre Dame once again failing to live up to their overinflated expectations, yet still rationalizing why they should keep Charlie Weis as their head coach.

5. The Heisman race. When was the last time two former Heisman winners were in the race? And not favored to win? It's crazy to think that next year's NFL draft might feature three Heisman winning quarterbacks, or it might feature only the second player ever to win two Heisman Trophies.

4. The national title hunt. Things are as wide open this year as they have been in a long time. There are seven to ten teams that have legitimate shots, and they all have some pretty tough games. A look at the AP top ten shows you how insane this year will be:
#1 Florida has scheduled three non-conference cupcakes (Charleston Southern, Troy, and FIU) and doesn't have to play Alabama or Mississippi this year, but they do have to play Georgia, Florida State, and at LSU. They have a pretty good shot at going undefeated.
Of course #2 Texas and #3 Oklahoma play each other, so they both can't be undefeated. Both teams also play #9 Oklahoma State, so only one of those three teams can end up undefeated.
#4 USC plays at #6 Ohio State, so they both can't be undefeated. USC also has tough road games at Notre Dame, Oregon, and Cal. If USC makes it out of their schedule with one or fewer losses, they probably deserve to be playing for the national title. Meanwhile, OSU also plays at #9 Penn State (yes, both Penn State and Oklahoma State are tied at #9) so, unless OSU loses to both USC and Penn State, only one of those three teams can end the season undefeated. Penn State also has a laughable non-conference schedule (Akron, Syracuse, Temple, and Tony Romo's alma mater, Eastern Illinois), and the only other real challenge other than OSU should be a road game at Michigan State to end the season. They probably have the best chance of going undefeated of any team in the top ten.
#5 Alabama and #7 Virginia Tech open the season against each other on neutral ground in Atlanta, so they both can't be undefeated. Alabama also plays at #8 Mississippi, so they both can't be undefeated. Alabama's only other tough game is a visit from LSU. VaTech's only other tough games are home games against Nebraska and North Carolina, and a road trip to Georgia Tech. Finally, Ole Miss has a pretty light schedule outside of the Alabama game, with a home game against LSU as their only really tough game.

I wouldn't be surprised if there are two one-loss teams playing in the BCS Championship Game, and another five or six one-loss teams extremely pissed off on the outside looking in.

3. Attending my first game in the newly renovated Memorial Stadium. Yes, I realize you might think it's odd that a perennially terrible football program such as IU would horseshoe off one of the ends of its usually half-full stadium, but they did it with good reason: (1) the addition houses the largest weight room in the country and a new student academic center, to provide our student-athletes not only with strength, but also with cunning; (2) it looks totally badass; (3) they only gained a few thousand seats, while making the stadium look like a real college football stadium; (4) there is an IU sports Hall of Champions that overlooks the field, so maybe having a hall honoring the many national titles the Hoosiers have won in soccer, swimming & diving, and basketball (and other sports) will rub off on the football team; (5) it still looks infinitely better than Ross-Ade Stadium ever will.

2. IU going to their second bowl in three years. Don't sleep on the Hoosiers. I'm just sayin'.

1. Introducing my newborn daughter to bowl season. Sure, she probably won't be as excited about it as I will be -- and I probably won't be vomiting and shitting as much as she will be -- but, if she's at all attentive, I'm sure she'll quickly come to understand in intricacies of the BCS, which conferences are tied to which bowls, and the ins and outs of why I think a hybrid bowl/playoff system just might work.

New Book: KISS: Behind the Mask by David Leaf and Ken Sharp

I finished reading Choke by Chuck Palahniuk last week at some point. I then spent several days in flux because I recently downloaded a dangerously addictive bundle of solitaire-like card games for my phone. Anyway, Choke was good, and it was a really quick read. Palahniuk does a great job of getting into the main character’s head. I’d definitely be interested to see what the big screen version of this was like, seeing as though the main character is a sex addict and, at one key point, sharts out some anal beads that had been stuck for several days.

I have moved back to music history, to KISS: Behind the Mask: The Official Authorized Biography by David Leaf and Ken Sharp. Interestingly, Leaf had completely his portion of this back in 1980, after interviewing the band about their rise to glory the previous year. For one reason or another, the book didn’t get published, then sat dormant for about fifteen years, until Leaf and Sharp (a Kiss fanatic who had written articles about the bad) met. Once Sharp found out that Leaf had written a book about Kiss, he demanded to read it, did so, loved it, and convinced Leaf to publish it, with Sharp contributing to the band’s post-1979 exploits. The rest, as they say is history. Or should I say KISStory? No, I guess history is the proper term, as KISStory isn't a real word. One thing I thought was interesting right off the bat was the picture on the cover. These days, there just aren't too many rockers who are willing to put on six-inch platform boots, paint their faces, and hang out on the ledge of what appears to be a thousand-foot-tall building.