Midwestern Eavesdropping - 8/19/10

Drunk guy to cabbie with broken hand: "Veins aren't important."
--Chicago, somewhere on Sheffield
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Bumper sticker: "LOST YOUR CAT? Try looking under my tires"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk Guy 1 (pointing to girl): "Wasn't that the girl you used to fuck?"
Drunk Guy 2: "No no no. She is much skinnier and much more attractive."
--Chicago, Rock Box, Lincoln & Sheffield
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething fifth grade teacher: "What the hell is a pork skin? Is it like a lamb skin?"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Lead singer of Frightened Rabbit, to crowd at Lollapalooza: "This song is about -- it's either about fighting a shark or fucking someone. I haven't decided yet."
--Chicago, Grant Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "Nothing has been in my butthole that has ever been comfortable."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething fourth grade teacher: "Drinking is actually helping my vision."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething female at Lollapalooza: "That's what I would call my band: Find a Hound Dog."
--Chicago, Grant Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk midwestern hillbilly: "The Keystone is here to sober us up after the Jager."
-Hopedale, IL
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "I haven't yacked from puking in a while."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

As we do from time to time, here are some MWE-worthy photos:
The actual text:
Passenger side: "I love gay porn"
Windshield: (massive dong, ejaculating)
Driver side: "Little boys enter here, candy's in here"
--Columbus, OH, Irish pub parking lot
Eavesdropper: The Ulltimate Lactose Hater

And then there was this, which is from a newscast on Chicago's ABC affiliate:
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

As usual, thanks to all those who contributed. When you overhear (or see) something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.