I had hoped to post a Tuesday Top Ten yesterday, but I was working from the second I woke up until I fell asleep while designing pentagram tattoos for Daughter's black baptism. To atone, I will give you a potpourri of nonsense for your Wednesday evening reading and viewing pleasure.
Pilots are funny
I came across an article today entitled "35 Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You." It's an interesting read for anyone who risks their lives by boarding one of those flying tin coffins. Here are three of my favorite quotes:
"There's no such thing as a water landing. It's called crashing into the ocean."
"Please don't complain to me about your lost bags or the rotten service or that the airline did this or that. My retirement was taken to help subsidize your $39 airfare."
"We don't make you stow your laptop because we're worried about electronic interference. It's about having a projectile on your lap. I don't know about you, but I don't want to get hit in the head by a MacBook going 200 miles per hour."
Big Hurt Retires and Jams
Even though he hasn't played a game in a couple years, Frank Thomas officially retired today. There is a great article on Yahoo Sports explaining why Frank should be a first-ballot Hall of Famer. That's obvious, in my opinion, since Thomas is probably the greatest right-handed hitter of all-time. In celebration, the Big Hurt is starting his own record label.
More fun from Keenan
A couple months ago, I posted a video featuring one of Gemkeezi's students lip-synching a Katie Perry song that got millions of hits on YouTube. Well, the kid, Keenan Cahill, is at it again. He appeared on Chelsea Lately, where he debuted his latest creation. And yes, that is Curtis Jackson.
I don't know if any of you saw the "Women of SNL" special on NBC a couple weeks ago, but it was pretty damn funny. Here is a sketch that I had never seen before that I thought was particularly weird and hilarious. I can't get the song out of my head. Kristen Wiig is ridiculous.
It turns out there was a predecessor to it. Enjoy: